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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2007 > August
August 2007
Sell Yourself (Legally!)
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
So we covered some of the challenges we face in the wonderful world of dating. To wrap up the week’s list of challenges, let’s address the challenge in selling yourself to people. Everyone likes to think that their stock on the singles market is high, but you may find that you have to play up your good sides from time to time.
If you haven’t noticed before, Atlanta singles are hot, successful, and picky! This can be both a blessing and a curse. Blessing: plenty of eye candy, lots of options. Curse: plenty of eye candy and lots of options. It’s all about spin, ya’ll!
The challenge in selling yourself is that you don’t want to make it seem that you are polar opposite to what you actually are. A reader, “Sully” commented yesterday that often times people are only sending their “dating reps” when you first start dating. That happens because we don’t want to show the real, true, raw being - I mean, why would we? That would be social suicide!
Do you find it hard to sell yourself on the dating market? Are you careful about the way you present yourself to potential dates? Have you ever had someone misread what you “advertised” on a date?
How do you manage to turn heads with the opposite sex? Maybe we can learn a few pointers from the best of Atlanta’s singles! Think of it as a single person’s guide to advertising your dating goods, so to speak.
As a fun Friday exercise, imagine that you are an ad exec or a celebrity PR team. What creative and fun ad campaign, slogan, or commercial would you use to “sell yourself” uhh, legally of course!
I’ll start: I’m like Gillette, baby. The BEST a man can get. Yes, I know that’s not original but it’s the best one I could come up with! Your turn!
Permalink | Comments (46) | Categories: Mix & Mingle
It’s Just A #&$% Date!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
So you finally manage to schedule the first date. The plans are solidified and the reservations have been made. Now what? Since we are covering the challenges that many of us face in dating, I thought I would touch on a huge challenge for some people. It’s the dreaded (but most desired) first date.
Earlier this week, some of you described dating as a fact finding mission, data gathering exercise, which is true on all counts. So that first date can start to become a make or break moment for some. This is the reason first dates can invoke a few jitters, a little tension, and a lot of awkward moments.
So how do we get through that “challenging” first date? My friend Panama once told me that he doesn’t go on first dates, he hangs out, which completely changes the dynamics of the night. I think many of us go this route, but is this a good or bad thing? Good old fashioned courting has been turned on it’s ear, do you think the first date means anything anymore?
Do you think we place too much emphasis on the first few dates with someone? Do you have first date jitters?
What if you are dating someone who seems as if they are out of your “dating league”? Do you go overboard with trying to impress them or do you prefer to play it cool and aloof?
What do you consider the best setting for a first date?
Permalink | Comments (208) | Categories: Dating
Ace card
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I am highlighting a few of the dating challenges that we endure in dating this week. Today let’s talk about the ace card of dating: The sex card. I call it the ace card for many (obvious?) reasons - but for the point of this discussion, let’s focus on one reason in particular: the value of the ace (sex) card.
All of you card players know that in most card games, aces have the highest value of all cards in a suit, yet in some, they can also have the lowest value. So, the value you see depends on how you are playing. Similarly, playing the sex card - as women are often accused of * eyeroll * the value of physical intimacy can be placed at a high or low value in the game of love.
Whiiiiiiich brings us back to today’s dating challenge: when do you play the ace card?
The best dating advice I have been given (and has proven to be effective) about dating and sex: it’s really best to delay that naughty talk for later. Keep in mind, this is sage advice when you are seeking a committed and meaningful relationship with someone. (Please read this line twice before extolling the “countless perks of one-stand nights”, hmk?)
Of course, physical compatibility is paramount to single people! Who wants to be trapped in a relationship with zero sizzle in the bedroom? However, the sizzle should be the result of a great relationship, not the motivation for one.
If we are to explore those stereotypical differences between men and women, we could probably point out the obvious arguments: men only want to bed women and women use their ace cards to manipulate men. Let’s take it to another level though. What is really the harm in waiting to play the ace card? Why do men feel as if women are too controlling when they decide to wait?
Listen fellas, we know you like the ace card, we like it too, but sometimes a girl needs a couple of things before we throw that card around. No, that doesn’t always include a princess cut diamond ring! (Although I don’t blame women who go that route)
Ladies, how do you let a guy know when you are ready to play the ace card?
What do you need to know, or feel, (about him) before it is right for you to begin a physical relationship? How do you express these ideas to your date without appearing like a woman who has “hang ups” with the ace card? Guys, same question to you, how do you let your woman know you are ready to consummate - and please don’t get too graphic with your responses- (Just kidding, sort of)
Have you found that it is hard to meet someone who has the exact same “game strategy” for the ace card?
Permalink | Comments (189) | Categories: Dating
Don’t believe the hype
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Yesterday I told you guys we would be talking about those tricky things that we often get hung up on in dating. The challenges that often sidelines some of us in the game of love. Today’s dating challenge: unrealistic expectations.
One of my male decoders, Dyoung made an interesting comment to me the other day. He said that women should have to switch places with the men and date ourselves. He said, “I think it would just give you more insight about why we might act the way we do sometimes. 90% of the time, what we do is reactionary”.
Now at first, I thought that he was pointing the finger at women for the dating challenges we face; but if I were to be truly honest, a lot of times, we are to blame! Women expect too much or too little, and then wonder why we end up so unhappy with a man we thought we really liked. Did we like him or the idea of him and his potential?
Dyoung offered great insight about the dating challenges us singles face. He said: “Men and women enter relationships with different mindsets. Basically, men want women to remain exactly the same (looks, attitude, outlook, etc.) as they were the first day they met them. While women generally do hope that the man changes a bit…they see the potential in us but are waiting for a finished product. Most relationship disharmony stems from that, especially when you consider that women are actually more prone to “change” then men are.”
Then I asked him who’s to blame? He thinks we both are because we both have unrealistic expectations. I have to say I agree with him! So how do we navigate this challenge of having unrealistic expectations of each other?
Guys, do you agree that most of what you do/say is in reaction to women in dating?
Ladies, do you think we indeed wait for a “finished product” instead of accepting the man as he is?
Permalink | Comments (182) | Categories: Dating
Welcome to the jungle
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The wonderful world of dating has it’s challenges. This week, I would like to tackle those dating hurdles that get in our way, including the ones that we create ourselves. Perhaps we can all learn something new or hear a different perspective altogether. Are you with me? Ok, great!
First hurdle: finding someone with the same ideas about dating. You would think that single people would generally have the same idea on what constitutes as dating. Unfortunately, that is not what I have found. A lot of guys that I have met lately think that dating means instant relationship. I find that it is tricky to casually date without appearing as if I am running game. I enjoy meeting and spending time with men, but being fast-tracked into something deeper kind of creeps me out. What is the rush?! Is this a challenge for you too?
Do you find that dating means something different to the people you meet and, well date? How can you find out if dating to you is compatible with the people that you meet?
Let’s get real, with no holds barred, what IS dating? Why do we do it? Is dating important anymore?
Permalink | Comments (133) | Categories: Dating
Material girls (and boys)
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
As a woman, I’m always flattered by men giving me gifts when they’re either pursuing my heart or when we are already in a relationship together. Candy, flowers, jewelry: I’m game for all of it. And as I’ve gotten older, the gifts have, generally speaking, become a little more expensive, since now I’m dating people with a little bit more money than the paper route boys.
I do, however, have one friend who tends to accept very large gifts from men she never intends to date. This friend has received (read: requested and picked out) expensive leather jackets and jewelry from men, in addition to accepting plane tickets to fly across the country for a week to hang out with someone.
Now, I wouldn’t classify this woman as a gold digger of the usual type. She does not target men for their finances—she’s just as happy dating someone who is still in school as she is someone who’s a lawyer. The point is, are there gifts that are too expensive to accept if you have no interest in the giver? Does it matter how rich the giver is?
As the giver (male or female) do you just have to accept that you may give someone an expensive gift who will never take you up on a relationship offer? Is it wiser to give such items after a relationship is already established?
Do you or does someone you know accept expensive gifts even if you’re not romantically interested in someone?
Permalink | Comments (208) | Categories: Dating
Parental problems
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
My friend Mary met her boyfriend’s parents for the first time this month and it was, well, less than stellar. His mother loved her. The extended family thought she was brilliant. But her boyfriend’s father, was, at best … rude.
Mary is one of those women who parents absolutely adore and want to marry off to their sons immediately. She’s beautiful, intelligent, and has a good head on her shoulders in general. She’s a parent’s dream.
But it seemed her boyfriend’s father had some prejudices he carried into the situation. For example, he seemed to question her IQ and education (possibly because she’s from the South?) and went as far as to ask her how long she thought it’d be before she was barefoot and pregnant! It was all Mary could do not to scream at him that she was currently finishing her master’s degree.
Have you ever met someone’s parents who were truly horrible to you? Parents who were so bad that it made you question marrying (or staying with) their son or daughter? I know many of us are idealistic and would like to believe that “if our love is just strong enough, it doesn’t matter what our parents think,” but honestly, if the person you’re dating is close at all to his or her family and you decide to marry them, you’re also marrying the family by default.
How bad would someone’s parents have to be for you to walk out of a relationship because of it? Has anyone ever had to do this?
Have you ever been in a marriage only to find out later that your spouse’s parents were intolerable?
Permalink | Comments (143) | Categories: Family
Beautiful mistake
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The best dating mistake I’ve ever made was in high school. Actually, I don’t know if you can call it a mistake as much as a personality flaw, because that’s just who I was. I was in a relationship with a guy that lasted just short of a year, although I could have spared myself a lot of pain if I had ended it earlier.
I was young, and I was clingy.
Not to say the young man didn’t also contribute to the dysfunction of our relationship, but looking back at the way I behaved, I’ve learned one of the greatest dating lessons that has impacted every single relationship I’ve had since then: Have your own life. Have your own friends, activities, and plans for the weekend. Your life is happening with or without that special person, but if they choose to come along for the ride, it’s a bonus.
Do you have any “beautiful disaster”-type relationships in which you learned something that has helped you to become a better dater? Maybe even breakups you’re glad happened because of how much you learned from them?
How have dating mistakes that you’ve made caused you to rethink how you view or act in relationships? Is there any advice you learned the hard way you think others should know?
Permalink | Comments (165) | Categories: Relationships
Forgive and forget?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
A story this week on ajc.com listed the reasons why it’s healthy to stop talking negatively about one’s ex. You can read the full story here: http://www.ajc.com/health/content/health/stories/2007/08/17/forgivebh.html
I think one of the most interesting points in this story is the example your negativity about an ex can set for your children. Sometimes we all need to vent, but it’s probably best just to do it once, get it out, and move on with our lives. We don’t want to show our kids that continually bashing anyone (even the most evil of exes) is healthy or productive.
The other great point is that you did, indeed, choose to be with that person for however long, which means you are responsible for accepting that person’s behavior for the length of time that you did. Instead of focusing mental energy on that person, you should move on with your mind, just as you moved on physically when you broke up.
Do you know people who dwell on past relationships? Have you ever been hung up on an ex so much that you couldn’t stop bashing him or her?
Have you ever had to take care when speaking about previous relationships, especially around your children? What about around your friends?
Permalink | Comments (101) | Categories: Matters of the Heart
Fight club
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Last night my friend David and I discussed a mutual friend’s marriage that unraveled a couple of years ago. During their first fight, her husband forced her to get down on her knees and beg him not to leave! “They were obviously not good at conflict resolution,” David said.
We then discussed the fact that although they never teach us how to properly resolve conflict when we’re in grade school, or anytime in school, we end up living with someone for the rest of our lives with whom we’ll need to work through problems. How backward is that?
Now, obviously, in marriage mentioned, there were other issues involved, such as the wife’s lack of self-esteem and the husband’s superiority complex, but when you boil it all down, if you don’t know how to work through issues properly, a marriage just won’t survive, just like a friendship won’t.
What do you do when you and the person you’re dating get into a fight? How do you best work through it?
Do you always fight fair? Are you good at keeping insults to a minimum? What other ways do you approach a “healthy resolution” when trying to resolve a relational problem?
Permalink | Comments (80) | Categories: Relationships
Thanks, but no thanks
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I was at dinner the other night with a couple of friends and the topic of booty calls came up. One of the men claimed to have stopped making those late night calls to the so called “friends with benefits”. Some people didn’t believe him (ok, most didn’t) but he admitted that he just didn’t engage in casual hook ups anymore. He even said that he has turned women down. He also thinks that friends with benefits aren’t all that worth it when there is zero chemistry or connection.
Now this guy is successful, kind, handsome, and in his late 20s so most of his friends tell him that he is too young to have this attitude. I thought it was completely normal and I wonder if more single men are adopting this attitude about casual hook ups.
Ladies, have you noticed more single men who are avoiding the friends with benefits arrangement? Have you ever been turned down by one?
Guys, are you noticing more of your buddies dodging booty calls? Have you slacked off on the casual hook-ups yourself?
Happy Friday!
Permalink | Comments (182) | Categories: Dating
Getting played
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Played. Yet another fun word in the dating lexicon. It means “being made a fool of, chumped, or taken advantage of” - among other things. Unfortunately, we have all been in some type of situation that, in hindsight, was part of the game. We were getting played and didn’t know it until it was too late. I will tell you my getting played story because, well, I could use the laughs, so why not offer myself as the butt of the jokes?
See if you can follow along on this bizarre dating misadventure. Disclaimer: This was years ago, while I was a college freshman (read: dumb as a box of rocks when it came to men), so the “wise” in wise diva had not yet arrived!
Long story short: My college roommate had a boyfriend back home (in Atlanta) and they spoke on the phone all the time. My name came up and somehow her boyfriend suggested I meet his twin brother. So, one weekend we came to Atlanta to hang out with the twins together. Of course, one of the twins couldn’t make it . Twin A, her boyfriend had to “work”. So Twin B and I decided to go out alone.
I went out with Twin B while the roommate was at home alone. Well, the weekend goes by and twin A never surfaced. Yeah, do you see where this is going? It wasn’t until we got back on campus that I found out there never was a twin brother - thanks to the college grapevine. Turns out, I was actually out on a date with my roommate’s boyfriend! What a JERK! He completely made up a twin brother to go out with me and cheat on his girlfriend right in front of her. Needless to say, that whole bizarre weekend still makes me laugh today! Ahh yes, getting played is funny in HINDSIGHT!
Do you have any embarrassing or bizarre dating stories where you were “played” by someone? How did you handle it?
Did someone ever take advantage of you and you didn’t see it coming because you were completely disarmed by their charm? Don’t you hate it when those charming types totally slip past your BS radar?
How do you avoid becoming cynical after getting played?
Permalink | Comments (174) | Categories: Mix & Mingle
Equal Opportunity Dating
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Generally, I am attracted to men of many different races. I guess you can say that I am an equal opportunity dater…as long as he’s hot, that is. I have observed among my own friends, that women of color are a lot more reluctant to date outside their race. When it comes to flirting, approaching gentleman at singles’ events, etc. they tend to stick with what appeals to them the most. I suppose they have their preferences, but I wonder what would happen if they explored more options.
When you go out looking for someone to flirt with or ask out, how much does race matter to you?
Are you more likely to approach/be attracted to someone of the same race or does their race not matter at all? What does it mean when you have a strong attraction towards someone, but because of their race, you dismiss the idea of dating them?
I read about a dating survey that found that, on average, single men were more willing to date outside of their race than their counterpart. Why do you think men are men more willing to date outside their race than women?
What impact do you think this has on the dating scene?
Permalink | Comments (192) | Categories: Dating
First cut is the deepest
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Oh, how the menfolk baffle me. If I didn’t adore men so much, I would probably give up dating them altogether! They can surely be infuriating. From the mixed signals and ambiguous behavior, to the hot pursuit gone cold and jedi mind tricks.
If a girl managed to survive all THAT fun stuff, she faces yet another challenge: Getting close to a guy who has a lot of walls up. It’s like navigating an obstacle course littered with the crimes of ex-girlfriends, ex-wives, and first loves from 3rd grade. They never seem to quite get over that first little crush that broke their heart!
I dated a guy who dumped his last girlfriend for cheating on him. I could tell that he didn’t really trust women that much. He would grill me on my whereabouts, confirmed things with other people, and once even drove to my job to see if I was actually working late.
Obviously that didn’t last. I grew tired of assuring him all the time. He told me that because of what he went through, he would “hold back” with any woman he was involved with. Clearly, he had some issues from that relationship that he was carrying.
How do men handle emotional baggage? Do you acknowledge that you even have them? FYI guys: Sometimes, you have baggage too.
Ladies have you ever dated a guy who made it difficult to break down the barriers? He liked being with you, but when it came to the private, heavier stuff, he didn’t let you in. How did you handle it?
Guys, when do you feel ready to trust a woman you are dating? What does she do or say to show that she can be trusted - emotionally? Why is it so hard for you to open up to women?
If you fall head over heels in love (madly, truly, deeply!) then it crashes and burns, do you think that we hold back the next time around?
If you are in a relationship, how do you handle that emotional distance that couples sometimes feel? Women love to talk it out - and boy can we talk! Men? Not so much!
So how do you get through those rough spots? Sex? Pretend everything is normal? Take a trip? What has worked for you in the past?
Permalink | Comments (116) | Categories: Breakups
Weekend Dating Challenge: We want details!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
You accepted the mission. You rose to the challenge. Now let’s hear those success stories!
How did it feel to get out there?
Did you try something different?
Do you have a new attitude about dating now?
Any promising leads to a romantic interest?
We want details!
Permalink | Comments (92) | Categories: Mix & Mingle
Weekend Challenge
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Hello, everyone!
This weekend, I’m issuing a challenge. Each of us must do one of the following, and we must explain how we’re going to follow up on it.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it (Pretend the following is in a dark purple envelope):
You may choose one of the following:
Go to a bar, restaurant, club or other hangout that you’ve never been to before.
Go on a real, honest-to-goodness date with your SO (dinner and dancing, drinks and a movie, whatever floats your boat. Just no hanging out in front of the TV!)
Acquire one phone number from a quality person who you’ll want to call later.
Muster up the guts to ask out that person you’ve been eyeing for so long (checkout girl, mailman, whoever).
Walk at a park, visit a gym, or go rollerblading/biking/etc. at a new place.
This blog will self-destruct in 3…2…1…
Happy Friday!
Permalink | Comments (131) | Categories: Mix & Mingle
A makeover story
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
One of the best things about being single is that you have so much time to reflect upon yourself. I mean, really. You can go have a great night out and then come home to only pay attention to…yourself. (There are exceptions, of course, for those of us with pets and kids, but you get the idea.) You have more time now than you ever will again to analyze and improve your own being.
Sometimes I forget about this aspect of my singleness. And honestly, it’s something I should put to use, because any “improvements” that I make now will also benefit me later in life.
I’ve decided that I’m making over my exercise routine (or lack thereof). I’m not out of shape, but I definitely want to be testing my body every day, whether it’s through jogging or the elliptical machine or a fun dance class. Plus, let’s be honest, it’s not gonna hurt my dating options to be up in the gym!
If you decided today to make over one aspect of yourself, what would it be? It doesn’t have to be about outward appearances. Your makeover could target how you handle your finances, how you treat your family, or how much time you spend with a significant other or children. It could be an attitude adjustment. You could resolve to smile at five more coworkers each day. Whatever you want!
And just remember, your blog family may hold you accountable to whatever you post! So this endeavor is not for the faint of heart! What could you change about yourself?
Permalink | Comments (230) | Categories: Matters of the Heart
Boyfriend broadcast
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I am now as socially networked as possible on the Internet; I’m on both Myspace and Facebook. Please welcome me to wasting more of my life than I ever have before.
One of my coworkers recently made a comment about his (teenage) daughter and the way Internet networking has changed the way she communicates with her friends. For example, he said that if two of the teens in their social network break up, it’s a race to see who changes their relationship status back to “single” first. Similarly, I have friends who have somewhat “announced” their relationship by making it public on Myspace.
Even if you don’t use social networking sites, how public or private are you about your relationships in general? Do you make it very clear to everyone that you are in a serious relationship? Or is it unnecessary information unless someone asks?
I know some people who, honestly, you wouldn’t know that they’re dating unless you ask. They’re simply not overly affectionate in public, although they are attentive to each other. They don’t introduce each other as “my girlfriend” or “my boyfriend” because they don’t think that defines the other person.
Certainly there are extremes on either end of this spectrum—you should be proud enough of the person you’re with to introduce them in appropriate company, but you also have to know that sometimes, it could be overkill to advertise your relationships (especially if you haven’t been dating very long or are unsure of the actual status!).
How private are you? Would you mind your dating situation being broadcast over the Internet or through some other medium?
Permalink | Comments (185) | Categories: Dating
In hot pursuit
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
This Sunday over brunch my friend Enrique talked about a woman he had been friends with for a long time who ended up kissing him one day. The thing was, after the kiss, she imagined that they were immediately “together.”
“You pursued me,” she told him. But according to Enrique, their communication back and forth had been pretty mutual, and he mostly called her to ask her specific questions unrelated to their personal friendship. Plus, she kissed him! (Anyway, he wasn’t interested long term.)
Which leads me to my question that piggybacks on Diva’s “girly women” discussion last week. Are traditional gender roles still important in dating?
Women, do you pursue men, and if you don’t, what’s your reason (spiritual, emotional, traditional)?
Men, do you have a problem with women pursuing you, or would you rather be the pursuer? Do relationships have different results depending on who did the “hunting”?
And since we’re on the subject, we’d better come up with a definition—what defines pursuit of a man or woman? Is it a couple of phone calls? Do you have to ask for a date? Do you have to buy dinner?
Relationship therapy
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
As we age, we all learn (I hope) from our previous relationships and past mistakes. And many of us are very independent when it comes to how to conduct our lives because we simply refer to our own experience.
But there’s still that person you always go to when you see something negative looming on the horizon of a relationship or when things have already gone sour.
Sometimes you go just to vent, sometimes you go for wise advice, and sometimes you go just to hear what you already know you need to do. Whatever you go for, it’s the person whose advice always seems wise beyond his or her years (even if they don’t follow their own advice!).
For me, that person is my friend Angel, who has never failed to give me constructive, honest dating advice. She’s seen me in really desperate situations, but she’s also given me feedback when everything seems to going great in my dating life.
This year she brought me back down to earth when I was hanging on to something I thought would develop into a serious relationship, but she could see from the outside that it never would. I was just hanging on to the idea of someone, and she snapped me back into reality.
Who in your life gives the best dating advice? Friend or family? Distantly removed co-worker or nail technician? Do you know people who give great dating advice but don’t seem to use it for themselves?
Have you ever received excellent relationship advice from (gasp!) a book, the radio or a TV show?
Speaking of the radio, here’s a plug from one of the AJC editors:
Do you have a relationship dilemma? Is your significant other driving you nuts? Or perhaps you just want to make your great relationship even better. Dr. Richard Blue, Star 94’s radio therapist and author of “Dr. Blue’s Guide to Making Relationships Work,” is going to help a few lucky readers. Email your specific relationship questions to Elizabeth Cobb (ecobb@ajc.com) by noon on Monday, Aug. 13.
Happy Monday!
Permalink | Comments (169) | Categories: Relationships
Keeping cool, eTMI, and leaving Atlanta
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I decided to take a (web)page out of my favorite AJC blog, Thinking Right’s column, so I am making today a Friday free-for-all. Pick a topic:
This long hot summer is making it hard to stay cool AND cute on the dating scene. Diva doesn’t do humidity, so I don’t like to come out to mix or mingle till the sun is setting and the temps are more tolerable. What cool (ice cold!) ideas do you have for getting out and about? How do you handle dating in the warmer temperatures? I may try to pull a hottie into the kitchen - but only for a cooking class! Some places even offer “date nights” for couples to turn up the heat!
Earlier this week, we spoke about putting all your cards on the table. Well, it seems that my potential guy of interest wanted to see my cards. He found out that I write a dating column, then after a little digging online, he found an old blog of mine. Now, I have never put anything on the web that I was embarrassed about, but I do wonder what he was trying to find out. Do you ever worry about too much of your personal life or semi-personal life being on the internet?
I have had two intense flirting sessions with a guy in my building. We seem to always meet up in the elevator. Is it a bad idea to date your neighbor? Have any of you ever dated someone on your block, in your complex, or in your building? How did it turn out? Any advice on “love thy neighbor” dating?
After traveling internationally this spring, I am getting antsy for another road trip. Unfortunately, my job is extremely busy this time of year. What weekend getaways would you suggest to get a break from dating, work, and stress? When was the last time you took some “me time” and relaxed? If you could be anyplace else besides Atlanta, where would you go this weekend - if money and time were not an issue?
HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!
Permalink | Comments (174) | Categories: Dating
Where have all the girly women gone?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
So! Apparently women have become more masculine. Well, that is what a group of guys recently told me. Yeah, I know, it sounds ridiculous as you first read it, but let’s explore the hypothesis a little bit.
Since those caveman days, men haven’t quite let go of some of their ideals about women. It’s understandable, though, because women still hold similar traditional ideals about men. Women still expect men to be men, protect us, and provide a boatload of things, that men are (for the most part), only happy to provide. It makes them feel like men! While some things have changed in our society, many things remain the same. Men like their dames to act like ladies!
Modern women and men face quite a daunting task of finding their new gender roles in dating and relationships. One of the complaints modern men have about women is that we forfeit too much femininity. Some men feel that girly women have become extinct.
How does that impact our modern dating practices? Well, a few guys told me that some of them wonder if the women they meet know how “to behave like a real lady”, which apparently is extremely subjective. None of the men I asked had the same answer to my question, what is a real lady?
Do men think women need to be more girly? I think I have girly moments - those times when I know my feminine power, and use it for good (well, most of the time!) - but I doubt I play up to any stereotypes that men may have about girly women.
Ladies, do you feel that modern women are too masculine? Do you think this impacts your dating experiences?
Permalink | Comments (250) | Categories: Mix & Mingle
Put your cards on the table
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Single people often complain about dating someone who is less than honest about their intentions. Unless you own a crystal ball, it can be really tough to decipher the mixed signals. What would happen if we all just put all our cards out on the table?
None of us are dating each other (I don’t think?), but if we were, what would you want to ask about dating or relationships? For instance, I want to know how men decide that they want a meaningful connection with a woman, instead of booty calls? Is it about the attraction, timing, blood alcohol level?
Ladies, what would you want men to know about dating you?
Guys, what could you tell the ladies about what really matters and what doesn’t in dating?
Let’s ask those questions you normally wouldn’t ask. So, just pretend you are slightly tipsy and have a little liquid courage. We can handle the truth, right!?
Permalink | Comments (231) | Categories: Dating
