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<channel>
<title>Adventures in Motherhood</title>
<link>http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/</link>
<description>Five Miami Valley moms dish about the wonderful, often humorous and always challenging role of being a mother including: families, kids, babies, pregnancy and things to do with kids in the Dayton and Springfield area.

Lucy Baker (a copy editor at the Dayton Daily News) is a mom of three.

Michelle Everhart-Sullivan (editor of the CoxOhio community web sites) is a mom of one girl.

Michelle Fong (editor of local mom-to-mom site 937/513moms.com) is a mom of two.

Darci Jordan (a columnist for the Dayton Daily News and Springfield News-Sun) is the mom of two boys with a girl on the way

Jill Kelley (columnist and reporter for the Dayton Daily News) is a mom of two boys.</description>
<dc:language>en-us</dc:language>
<dc:creator>lbaker@coxohio.com</dc:creator>
<dc:date>2009-11-20T02:59:40-05:00</dc:date>
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<item>
<title>Pulling the Santa card: Be good or else!</title>

    

    


<link>http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/entries/2009/11/20/pulling_the_san.html</link>
<description>Afternoon preschool has been a challenge for my soon-to-be-4-year-old. The 12:30 p.m. start cuts right into his natural naptime. He gets up at 8 a.m., eats breakfast, plays hard, eats lunch, then gets sleepy. I don&amp;#8217;t blame him: My night-shift...</description>
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Afternoon preschool has been a challenge for my soon-to-be-4-year-old.

The 12:30 p.m. start cuts right into his natural naptime. He gets up at 8 a.m., eats breakfast, plays hard, eats lunch, then gets sleepy. I don&amp;#8217;t blame him: My night-shift hours mean I&amp;#8217;m generally ready for some shut-eye about that time too.

Tired kids are cranky kids!

But four days a week, I pack him off to school and put off his rest period till 3:30. (There wasn&amp;#8217;t a spot for him in the morning class, or this wouldn&amp;#8217;t be an issue.)

Yes, he&amp;#8217;s all hepped up with unspent energy when he comes home (even though they have an active-play program at his school), but he still needs his sleep. Believe me.

When he misses his nap, he is bossy and cranky all afternoon and basically unbearable by dinnertime. It&amp;#8217;s like living with a little tyrant.

If he sleeps for a few hours, he wakes up in time for dinner his normal sweet/feisty self then heads off to bed for the night at the same time as his older siblings, about 9:30 p.m. His agreeable mood makes the household so much more pleasant to be a part of!

But Hubby is between jobs right now, and our circadian rhythm has been off-kilter because he wants to stay up and play with his daddy. 

All this week, he&amp;#8217;s been fighting tooth-and-nail to skip the nap. But I&amp;#8217;m not biting. His actions tell me he still needs the extra rest, so I most often insist on it. (There are occasional days when family activities preclude his nap, but we&amp;#8217;ve tried to wire our three kids for flexibility.)

And here&amp;#8217;s the crux of this blog: Today I pulled the Santa card on him when he was throwing down, violently protesting my nap &amp;#8220;suggestion.&amp;#8221;

&amp;#8220;Santa can see you, you know. And you just made it onto his &amp;#8216;bad&amp;#8217; list.&amp;#8221; 

I felt guilty as soon as I uttered the words. But boy did those crocodile tears dry up in a hurry!

He was soon calm and apologizing for his tantrum, asking if he could somehow work his way back into Santa&amp;#8217;s good graces.

&amp;#8220;Of course!&amp;#8221; I said with a reassuring smile as I snuggled into bed beside him and gave him a pat. 

Another myth perpetuated. Ah, childhood innocence. It can sometimes be used to our advantage. ;)

I was relating this &amp;#8220;mommy confession&amp;#8221; to a co-worker, who said she had used the same technique on her 3-year-old daughter, who quit diapers cold turkey when told that Santa Claus only brings toys to big girls who are potty-trained. 

It may have seemed a bit cruel and manipulative at the time, but she&amp;#8217;s 11 now and hasn&amp;#8217;t suffered any ill effects. In fact, that girl will probably pull the Santa card on her own child someday. 

And the coal-for-Christmas scare tactic can be employed at any age. 

On a recent trip back to my home state of West Virginia, I was actually on the hunt for a gag gift for a mom friend. She said her two teenagers had been naughty and she was threatening to give them lumps of coal for Christmas. 

But alas, I couldn&amp;#8217;t find what I was looking for: a set of praying hands sculpted out of coal. Wouldn&amp;#8217;t those young ladies flip if they opened that box first!

</content>
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<guid isPermaLink="false">15784203@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/</guid>
<dc:subject>Christmas</dc:subject>
<dc:date>2009-11-20T02:59:40-04:00</dc:date>
<dc:creator>lbaker@coxohio.com</dc:creator>
</item>
<item>
<title>Little tweaks on road to gender equality</title>

    

    


<link>http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/entries/2009/11/19/little_tweaks_o.html</link>
<description>I have never been what you would call a feminist; at least not in the colloquial sense. Although I whole-heartedly agree that all rights of women should be equal to those of men, I have never been one to broadcast...</description>
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I have never been what you would call a feminist; at least not in the colloquial sense. 

Although I whole-heartedly agree that all rights of women should be equal to those of men, I have never been one to broadcast that credo.

To be honest, I didn&amp;#8217;t have to. I was lucky enough to be born after most of the women&amp;#8217;s rights battles had been waged and most of the speaking out had been done.

As a result, most of the doors had been opened for me and my generation, and our biggest challenge has been dealing with the mindset that remains.

As a kid, the gender bias was just a part of life. My parents had clearly defined roles. Despite the fact that they both worked outside of the home, my father was the bread-winner and my mother took care of the house and kids.

My sister and I were the ones told to do dishes, and weren&amp;#8217;t allowed to see some movies that the boys got to see &amp;#8212; even though we were both older than one of them. To this day, as a matter of principle, I have never seen &amp;#8220;Alien.&amp;#8221;

My father scrutinized the boys&amp;#8217; activities more than he did my sister&amp;#8217;s and mine. We weren&amp;#8217;t barred from taking part in anything, but that participation didn&amp;#8217;t seem to matter much either.

But I was OK with that.

When I was around 8, my brother and I started playing Little League baseball. It was a boys&amp;#8217; league, but girls were allowed. There were four or five girls in the league and hundreds of boys.

</content>
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<guid isPermaLink="false">15766503@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/</guid>
<dc:subject>Mother&apos;s Daze columns</dc:subject>
<dc:date>2009-11-19T08:37:07-04:00</dc:date>
<dc:creator>jikelley@coxohio.com</dc:creator>
</item>
<item>
<title>Even grandson will eat ravioli if it means time with Veteran grandpas</title>

    

    


<link>http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/entries/2009/11/16/even_grandson_w.html</link>
<description>GG, Noah and Great-Grandpa celebrate Veteran&amp;#8217;s Day with a ravioli lunch. On the eve of Veteran&amp;#8217;s Day, I looked at the school lunch menu. Ravioli, salad and breadsticks. Not something Noah usually wants to eat. I read the menu items...</description>
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GG, Noah and Great-Grandpa celebrate Veteran&amp;#8217;s Day with a ravioli lunch.

On the eve of Veteran&amp;#8217;s Day, I looked at the school lunch menu.
Ravioli, salad and breadsticks.
Not something Noah usually wants to eat.

I read the menu items to Noah and said, &amp;#8220;Do you want to pack or buy your lunch tomorrow?&amp;#8221;
&amp;#8220;Buy,&amp;#8221; he replied.
&amp;#8220;Really? It&amp;#8217;s ravioli.&amp;#8221;
&amp;#8220;Yep! I have to show GG and Grandpa how to get through the lunch line,&amp;#8221; he said.

I smiled to myself at his eagerness - and willingness to eat something he isn&amp;#8217;t a big fan of -  for the sake of his grandpa&amp;#8217;s.

In addition to a lunch celebration, the students would be singing.
Always a performer, Noah couldn&amp;#8217;t wait to for his great-grandfathers to see him sing a patriotic song with his class for the visiting veterans.
He practiced for days, &amp;#8220;This is our flag, red, white and blue &amp;#133;&amp;#8221;

When the big day finally arrived, I loaded up the family veterans: Great-Grandpa Paul who served in the Army and Great-Grandpa Charlie (aka &amp;#8220;GG&amp;#8221;) who served in the Navy during World War II.

We sat hungrily in our seats while the Kindergartners - clad in red, white and blue - marched onto the stage.
Following their patriotic performance, Noah promptly gathered up his clan of family members and lined us up for lunch.

True to his word, Noah said, &amp;#8220;Now GG, when you get past the black line on the floor, you can pick your milk.&amp;#8221;

We sat at the V.I.P. lunch tables and chatted while eating (shock and awe moment: Noah even ate his salad).
Students from other grades periodically filed into the lunchroom, sang a song, and matched up with the vets from their families.

It was an enjoyable afternoon - school lunches have definitely improved since my day -and Noah could not have been more proud to have his great-grandfathers in attendance.

Both of my boys are fascinated with the United States Military. 
Noah is awed by a person in fatigues and Nick can&amp;#8217;t get enough of the Air Force planes running patterns over our home.
Both of them don their miniature camouflage jackets and clothes with pride, saying they are &amp;#8220;Army guys.&amp;#8221;

Should they choose to follow in the footsteps of their great-grandfathers, I&amp;#8217;ll be a proud, albeit tearful, fearful and prayerful, mother.

Many thanks to our Veterans and active military.

Email this contributing writer at Motherhoodcolumn@yahoo.com.

</content>
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<guid isPermaLink="false">15732003@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/</guid>
<dc:subject>Motherhood Column</dc:subject>
<dc:date>2009-11-16T17:17:01-04:00</dc:date>
<dc:creator>motherhoodcolumn@yahoo.com</dc:creator>
</item>
<item>
<title>Parenting often depends on kids&apos; birth order</title>

    

    


<link>http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/entries/2009/11/12/parenting_often.html</link>
<description>I think that I am ruining my firstborn. It is not intentional; actually, quite the contrary. But, more often than not, I have a tendency to react much less constructively to my oldest son than I do to his little...</description>
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I think that I am ruining my firstborn. It is not intentional; actually, quite the contrary.
But, more often than not, I have a tendency to react much less constructively to my oldest son than I do to his little brother.

I believe the problem is twofold: Since he was my first child, he is a test subject by default; and, secondly, I see so much of myself in him.

You might think that sharing characteristics would make a parent more sympathetic to a child&amp;#8217;s behavior, and it does &amp;#133; at times. I am more patient with his highs and lows than his father is; but, then again, his father has to deal with me as well.

Most of the time, however, when I see these mirrored traits, it just makes me want to fix the kid; to allow him to skip over some of the stinging life lessons you have to endure and get right to the focused, confident, self-realized state you often don&amp;#8217;t get to until your mid-30s.

Of course, I know this attempt to orchestrate his growth is unrealistic and potentially damaging. I know this as I sit here typing at work.

But when I am face to face with the kid, and he is playing with the drapes or writing on his shoe instead of finishing his homework, I can&amp;#8217;t help but tell him (again) that he could make his life that much easier if he would just get the work done.

</content>
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<guid isPermaLink="false">15675103@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/</guid>
<dc:subject>Mother&apos;s Daze columns</dc:subject>
<dc:date>2009-11-12T08:37:37-04:00</dc:date>
<dc:creator>jikelley@coxohio.com</dc:creator>
</item>
<item>
<title>10% off at MattelShop.com -- Nov. 11 only!</title>

    

    


<link>http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/entries/2009/11/11/10_off_mattelsh_1.html</link>
<description>We, dear readers, are invited to an &amp;#8220;exclusive&amp;#8221; Virtual Shopping Day at the new Mattel online store, MattelShop.com! &amp;#8220;As I see it, yes&amp;#8221; &amp;#8212; I still have the Mattel Magic 8 Ball that was under my Christmas tree way back...</description>
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We, dear readers, are invited to an &amp;#8220;exclusive&amp;#8221; Virtual Shopping Day at the new Mattel online store, MattelShop.com!

&amp;#8220;As I see it, yes&amp;#8221; &amp;#8212; I still have the Mattel Magic 8 Ball that was under my Christmas tree way back in the 1970s!

TODAY ONLY &amp;#8212; Nov. 11, 2009 &amp;#8212; shoppers can purchase all the Mattel goodies that their virtual shopping cart can hold and receive free shipping and 10% off the bill using the promotional code MATTELMOM30.

Barbies, Hot Wheels, WHAC-A-MOLE, whatever: Bug your kids for their Christmas lists and start pointing and clicking.

</content>
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<guid isPermaLink="false">15657603@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/</guid>
<dc:subject>Christmas</dc:subject>
<dc:date>2009-11-11T01:39:32-04:00</dc:date>
<dc:creator>lbaker@coxohio.com</dc:creator>
</item>
<item>
<title>Are parents spanking less and yelling more?</title>

    

    


<link>http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/entries/2009/11/05/are_parents_spa.html</link>
<description>There was an article in the New York Times last month that hit a little too close to home for me. The article was titled, &amp;#8220;For Some Parents, Shouting Is the New Spanking.&amp;#8221; It talked about how many of today&amp;#8217;s...</description>
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There was an article in the New York Times last month that hit a little too close to home for me. 

The article was titled, &amp;#8220;For Some Parents, Shouting Is the New Spanking.&amp;#8221;

It talked about how many of today&amp;#8217;s parents find it less socially acceptable to spank their children and, as a result or for lack of a better option, have &amp;#8220;incongruously and with regularity&amp;#8221; become a generation that yells.

The article also said the yelling may be partly a releasing of stress for multitasking, overachieving, time-crunched adults.

Of course, as is the cosmic way of the world, I read this article the day after I had screamed at my 8- and 10-year-olds for coming to blows over a few pieces of leftover pizza.

In general, I feel like I yell at my kids too much, and it is true I have only spanked them a handful of times. And even by &amp;#8220;spanked&amp;#8221; I mean giving their bottoms a swat when they were little.

</content>
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<guid isPermaLink="false">15548703@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/</guid>
<dc:subject>Mother&apos;s Daze columns</dc:subject>
<dc:date>2009-11-05T07:00:36-04:00</dc:date>
<dc:creator>jikelley@coxohio.com</dc:creator>
</item>
<item>
<title>Halloween about to give up the ghost</title>

    

    


<link>http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/entries/2009/10/29/halloween_about.html</link>
<description>It is mere days before Halloween, and I have to ask: Do your kids have their costumes yet? This might seem like a silly question, especially for parents of little ones who likely have had their beloved costumes (or at...</description>
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It is mere days before Halloween, and I have to ask: Do your kids have their costumes yet?

This might seem like a silly question, especially for parents of little ones who likely have had their beloved costumes (or at least plans for them) for months.

I ask because just the skeleton of that pink, pudgy love remains in my house. In fact, as I write this, my elementary-schoolers still don&amp;#8217;t have a stitch of ghoulish garb, or anything remotely Halloween-y.

And, although they are just fine with that, it is kind of bumming me out. I mean, it wasn&amp;#8217;t that long ago that we were searching in earnest for the perfect Harry Potter glasses, or trying to find a mask that wouldn&amp;#8217;t cause the younger one to sport truly bloody knees.

Is it me or aren&amp;#8217;t they a little young for the fascination to have worn off?

It&amp;#8217;s not like I wasn&amp;#8217;t warned. Last year, the then second- and fourth-graders showed a dropoff in interest from the year before.

At the time, I faulted premature visions of sugarplums for their sudden lack of Halloween luster.

But I can&amp;#8217;t even fault St. Nick this year, since I also am the one bringing up Christmas.

&amp;#8220;Why don&amp;#8217;t you guys start your Christmas lists?&amp;#8221; I asked them when they were bored a week or so ago.

&amp;#8220;In October?&amp;#8221; they asked.

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<guid isPermaLink="false">15436903@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/</guid>
<dc:subject>Mother&apos;s Daze columns</dc:subject>
<dc:date>2009-10-29T07:06:24-04:00</dc:date>
<dc:creator>jikelley@coxohio.com</dc:creator>
</item>
<item>
<title>Help your child make friends</title>

    

    


<link>http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/entries/2009/10/28/help_your_child_1.html</link>
<description>I love my friends. I am blessed to have forged dozens of lasting relationships with childhood buddies, college pals, good neighbors and forever friends from every city we&amp;#8217;ve lived in. They lift me up in times of need (like right...</description>
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I love my friends. I am blessed to have forged dozens of lasting relationships with childhood buddies, college pals, good neighbors and forever friends from every city we&amp;#8217;ve lived in.

They lift me up in times of need (like right now, when my mother-in-law is hospitalized and the whole family is in full panic mode), whether it&amp;#8217;s with a homemade cranberry bread or thoughtful posting on my Facebook wall.

Some people are loners: My Hubby grew up out in the country with few kids around and has a few close friendships, and that&amp;#8217;s enough for him.

Me? I&amp;#8217;m happiest when I&amp;#8217;m making that personal connection. Sharing joys and sorrows with others is at my essence.

Best buds

But how do you help your children build those friendships that will buoy them throughout their lives?

What I&amp;#8217;ve tried to do is:

1) Teach the Golden Rule.

2) Be a friend to make a friend &amp;#8212; Playdates, babysitting co-ops, carpools, sideline chats at sporting events, coffee dates, and especially potluck suppers can really bond families to one another. You won&amp;#8217;t know if you&amp;#8217;re a good &amp;#8216;fit&amp;#8217; with another family until you spend time together. When it works, you just feel it. So be brave and extend an invitation. Your house doesn&amp;#8217;t have to be spotless to have guests, &amp;#8216;cause the kids will just mess it up anyway (at least that&amp;#8217;s the excuse I use ;).

3) Practice &amp;#8216;Friendship Maintenance&amp;#8217; &amp;#8212; Cultivate and maintain new and old relationships through letters and e-mail, sharing pictures, visits, phone calls. Yes, we all go through busy phases, but keep making that connection, even if it&amp;#8217;s just a photo card during the holidays. 

We moved to Ohio when our kids were ages 7 and 4. They already had a network of friends, and we&amp;#8217;ve encouraged the kids to stay in touch with them. The computer is a godsend for this, and now that the kids are older, there&amp;#8217;s Facebook, e-mails, unlimited texting and Xbox 360 live.

Living in an Air Force town and in a bad economy, we&amp;#8217;ve had to say goodbye to quite a few friends since we came to Dayton seven years ago. It&amp;#8217;s sometimes hard for the kids, but we remind them of all the &amp;#8216;away&amp;#8217; friends we have.

When we travel, we always try to make detours to far-flung friends&amp;#8217; homes along the way. This usually takes a lot of scheduling coordination on both ends, but it&amp;#8217;s always worth it to see the kids run off and play with their old friends like they were together yesterday, and sit back and share a glass of wine or game of cards and reconnect with your adult friends. This is like heaven to me.

So help your child make a friend. The peace it can bring to his or her heart is the best gift you could give.

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<guid isPermaLink="false">15447303@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/</guid>
<dc:subject>Photo of the Week</dc:subject>
<dc:date>2009-10-28T18:54:43-04:00</dc:date>
<dc:creator>lbaker@coxohio.com</dc:creator>
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<item>
<title>Research guides decision on H1N1 vaccination</title>

    

    


<link>http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/entries/2009/10/22/research_guides.html</link>
<description>There has been much discussion among parents across the country as to whether we should have our children vaccinated for H1N1, or swine flu. A national poll conducted in August through C.S. Mott Children&amp;#8217;s Hospital and the University of Michigan...</description>
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There has been much discussion among parents across the country as to whether we should have our children vaccinated for H1N1, or swine flu.

A national poll conducted in August through C.S. Mott Children&amp;#8217;s Hospital and the University of Michigan found that most parents &amp;#8212; 60 percent &amp;#8212; were not planning to have their children vaccinated.

Those who were against the vaccine cited multiple reasons, including concerns about vaccine side effects, the fact that they weren&amp;#8217;t worried that their children would get H1N1, and/or because they prefer to fight the flu with medications.

And some of those polled, 20 percent, said they didn&amp;#8217;t think H1N1 was a serious disease.

In contrast, those who did plan to get it did believe H1N1 to be a serious disease (83 percent), worried about their kids getting this flu and noted that the vaccine was recommended for children.

I am among the many parents who share concerns from both camps. I do think H1N1 is a serious disease, and find it is extremely worrisome that children are particularly vulnerable.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, pediatric deaths from the H1N1 flu virus already rival the annual total from seasonal flu.

This week&amp;#8217;s tragic news about the death of a Springboro kindergartner who had tested positive for H1N1 brings that even closer to home.

I also have inherent misgivings about any new vaccine, due to an experience I had a couple of months after my first son was born.

Back then, I allowed him to get a recently introduced vaccine for rotavirus, only to have it recalled two weeks later. He did not experience the side effects for which the vaccine was recalled and did not come down with the rotavirus, but that experience made me more cautious about medical decisions.

Then there also is the concern about the vaccine among parents who believe there is a link between vaccines and mercury, and autism and other neurological disorders.

I know medical research shows there is no link, and I have met parents who would bet their lives that there is.

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<guid isPermaLink="false">15351903@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/</guid>
<dc:subject>Mother&apos;s Daze columns</dc:subject>
<dc:date>2009-10-22T10:26:59-04:00</dc:date>
<dc:creator>jikelley@coxohio.com</dc:creator>
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<item>
<title>Halloween fun in your neighborhood!</title>

    

    


<link>http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/entries/2009/10/16/halloween_fun_i.html</link>
<description>Our little town gets into the Halloween spirit in a big way. Annual events include a PTO pumpkin sale and a fall festival featuring carnival games, horse-drawn wagon rides and a blocks-long scarecrow contest that has to be seen to...</description>
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Our little town gets into the Halloween spirit in a big way. Annual events include a PTO pumpkin sale and a fall festival featuring carnival games, horse-drawn wagon rides and a blocks-long scarecrow contest that has to be seen to be appreciated.

Third-place winner, &amp;#8220;es-SCARE-got&amp;#8221; scarecrow from Oakwood Sister City Association. 

The civic celebrations continue on a neighborly level with sneaky visits from the ding-dong-ditch crew clandestinely delivering treats via the Phantom Ghost. (Find out how to start this inexpensive, fun tradition with your own friends by clicking here.)

Witches brew bubbles at the neighborhood costume party.

We&amp;#8217;ve also been lucky enough to score standing invitations for the neighborhood pumpkin-carving party &amp;#8212; it&amp;#8217;s the stuff of legends &amp;#8212; and an annual costume party for adults and kiddies alike. (Hubby won honors a few years back dressed as the pope!)

On the Big Night itself, little &amp;#8220;beggars&amp;#8221; come out in droves to troll our streets for sweets. A local church hands out bags of fresh-popped popcorn and cups of warm cider. One neighbor spins cotton candy on his porch. Walk around long enough and you&amp;#8217;ll see everyone in town.

If you live in an area without such welcoming festivities, it&amp;#8217;s high time to create your own traditions. You can start small by inviting a few friends over for a soup supper before trick-or-treating. Or think big and make your house a destination spot with lots of creepy animatronic creatures in your yard.

Above all, take some time this autumn to get out and mingle with your neighbors before winter&amp;#8217;s long hibernation period. The connections you make now will give you a warm glow that lasts the whole year through. 

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<guid isPermaLink="false">15268603@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/</guid>
<dc:subject>Halloween</dc:subject>
<dc:date>2009-10-16T02:00:55-04:00</dc:date>
<dc:creator>lbaker@coxohio.com</dc:creator>
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<title>News stories prompt talk about gun safety</title>

    

    


<link>http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/entries/2009/10/15/news_stories_pr.html</link>
<description>A couple of recent news stories, one local and one not, have brought gun use by private citizens to the forefront, and got the parent in me thinking even more about gun safety. One of the stories showed the benefits...</description>
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A couple of recent news stories, one local and one not, have brought gun use by private citizens to the forefront, and got the parent in me thinking even more about gun safety.

One of the stories showed the benefits of having a gun in the house, while the other story had a more tragic end.

The local story documented how four Dayton-area residents, in a four-week period this year, defended themselves by shooting at armed individuals.

Three of these four cases ended with either the arrest or death of the alleged offender, while none of the citizens who did the defensive shooting are facing criminal charges.

That would be the more positive domestic gun story.

The other story was about a Pennsylvania mother, Meleanie Hain, 31, who first made news last year for carrying a loaded, holstered handgun to her 5-year-old daughter&amp;#8217;s soccer games.

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<guid isPermaLink="false">15234703@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/</guid>
<dc:subject>Mother&apos;s Daze columns</dc:subject>
<dc:date>2009-10-15T07:37:12-04:00</dc:date>
<dc:creator>jikelley@coxohio.com</dc:creator>
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<title>Mother has sticker shock over American Girl Dolls</title>

    

    


<link>http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/entries/2009/10/12/mother_has_stic.html</link>
<description>My husband just called to tell me he has an extra person to dress in the morning. No, we didn&amp;#8217;t suddenly have another child. My 15-month-old daughter discovered her Bitty Baby. My husband&amp;#8217;s grandmother bought our daughter a Bitty Baby...</description>
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My husband just called to tell me he has an extra person to dress in the morning. No, we didn&amp;#8217;t suddenly have another child. My 15-month-old daughter discovered her Bitty Baby.

My husband&amp;#8217;s grandmother bought our daughter a Bitty Baby doll before she had become a bitty baby herself. I tucked it away in her closet thinking we wouldn&amp;#8217;t get it back out until she was much older.

But then my parents traveled to Chicago a few weeks ago and stopped at The American Girl doll store to get clothes for Bitty Baby - a $34 outfit. For a doll. Granted it had chambray pants, a shirt, a jacket, hat, shoes, tights and a jumper, but still it&amp;#8217;s for a doll. I wouldn&amp;#8217;t even spend that much on an outfit for my daughter.

Since we had an outfit for Bitty Baby, I decided to get her out of storage just to see how my daughter would react. It was like the angels sang when I pulled that doll out of the box. My daughter quickly snatched it from me like it was her long-lost baby, kissing it and gently patting it&amp;#8217;s back. She refused to put it down all night.

Then this morning, she insisted that my husband dress Bitty Baby in her new outfit before anyone else in the house had been dressed.

The husband and I talked about getting our daughter one of the American Girl dolls for Christmas until I saw how much they cost. For an actual doll, it&amp;#8217;s $95. Just the doll and a book. If you want a deal, you can get a Bitty Baby for $42.

If that weren&amp;#8217;t enough of a sticker shock, you can get outfits that cost $60 to match your dolls outfits. Or a jacket for $98. And if you really want to spend those hard-earned dollars, you can buy a bed for the doll for $108 or maybe even a doll storage cabinet for $349.

I think this is an extravagance we will let grandparents and great-grandparents spend their money on.

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<guid isPermaLink="false">15201003@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/</guid>
<dc:subject>Funny stories</dc:subject>
<dc:date>2009-10-12T09:50:18-04:00</dc:date>
<dc:creator>meverhart@coxohio.com</dc:creator>
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<title>DIY Halloween costumes: Fun with a box</title>

    

    


<link>http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/entries/2009/10/10/diy_halloween_c.html</link>
<description>It&amp;#8217;s the time of year when all little ghouls and boys have only one thing on their minds: Trick-or-Treat &amp;#8212; or as they say around here, Beggars Night. Turns out beggars can be choosers: For the past two years, my...</description>
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It&amp;#8217;s the time of year when all little ghouls and boys have only one thing on their minds: Trick-or-Treat &amp;#8212; or as they say around here, Beggars Night.

Turns out beggars can be choosers: For the past two years, my daughter and I have been able to create really fun Halloween costumes with little more than a cardboard box, a glue gun and some items from the Dollar Tree.

Lunch is served

Our first effort involved a hot dog hat she had picked up as a Cedar Point souvenir. We cut a &amp;#8220;tabletop&amp;#8221; out of a box and added a cheap red-checkered tablecloth (tacking down the corners). We topped it off by gluing on some empty cups, plates and condiment packets from Skyline Chili, and voila, she&amp;#8217;s a &amp;#8220;Hot Dog Lunch.&amp;#8221; (In the accompanying photo, notice her buddy the Clothes Dryer &amp;#8212; another example of box-costume magic.)

Coolest kid

Last year, we made her costume out of two boxes. It was easy: We just covered a few bankers boxes with white poster paper, downloaded a Frigidaire logo off the Internet (btw, Frigidaire has its roots in Dayton), then hot-glued on some magnets and a &amp;#8220;report card.&amp;#8221; Then we kicked it up a notch by designing a swinging door (with duct tape!) and fastening some play food onto an old undershirt. The &amp;#8220;Refrigerator&amp;#8221; costume was born.

Coolest kid II

This year, we&amp;#8217;ve drawn a schematic of an &amp;#8220;Aquarium&amp;#8221; costume, complete with fish tank backdrops from the pet store, black electrical tape representing metal edging, and an octopus hat &amp;#8212; again from our friends at Cedar Point&amp;#8217;s Hat Shack. 

Believe me, if we can do this, anyone can. Get your imagination humming and start planning a one-of-a-kind costume today!

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<guid isPermaLink="false">15183303@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/</guid>
<dc:subject>Photo of the Week</dc:subject>
<dc:date>2009-10-10T02:22:13-04:00</dc:date>
<dc:creator>lbaker@coxohio.com</dc:creator>
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<title>Are today&apos;s kids in too many activities?</title>

    

    


<link>http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/entries/2009/10/08/are_todays_kids.html</link>
<description>It is usually when I am recapping a weekend full of tryouts, tournaments and track meets that some of the friends or relatives I am talking to get that look in their eyes. It is the look that says: &amp;#8220;Why...</description>
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It is usually when I am recapping a weekend full of tryouts, tournaments and track meets that some of the friends or relatives I am talking to get that look in their eyes.

It is the look that says: &amp;#8220;Why do you have your kids in so many activities?&amp;#8221;

The reason I know this is because I also have friends and relatives who have no problem following up the look by asking me the question directly.

Now, this is almost exclusively asked by people who either don&amp;#8217;t have kids or whose kids haven&amp;#8217;t started school yet, and it makes me think that they just don&amp;#8217;t realize how different the playing field is compared to when we were all kids.

But, it still gives me pause.

My kids are in several extracurriculars, all of which they love (except football), but the queries have made me ask myself: Are my kids, and kids in general these days, overdoing it with sports and other extracurriculars?

So, I started asking other parents I know who also have their kids in multiple activities why that was, and if they thought it was too much.

One mom I talked to has three kids on select soccer teams &amp;#8212; all in different cities.

She said she and her husband are exhausted from running them to practices, games and tournaments.

But added: &amp;#8220;All the kids they would be playing with in the neighborhood are doing the same thing.&amp;#8221;

And that is true. You don&amp;#8217;t find as many kids hanging out at the local park together, shooting baskets in the driveway or even just skipping down the sidewalks as you used to.

How it got that way is likely due to some combination of urban sprawl, fear and protective parents.

But the reality is, the kids aren&amp;#8217;t at your house, ready to play like they once were. Where you find the kids are at these organized sports or activities.

Another difference between then and now is the time and intensity of these activities.

As a kid, I didn&amp;#8217;t know anyone my age who took a yearlong dance class or was able to string together baseball seasons with summer camps. 

Thirty years ago, most kids&amp;#8217; sports (at least according to all the former athletes I talked to) took two-and-a-half to three months a year with one practice a week.

Today, some last up to eight months and have practices multiple times a week.

One of the dads I talked to said he thought the difference was due to the proliferation of select sports.

&amp;#8220;When the kids have sports that are practically year-round, it is going to make for a busy year,&amp;#8221; said the father of two. &amp;#8220;But what are you going to do? If all of their friends and the quality coaches are going to be in the select programs, that&amp;#8217;s where you have to go.&amp;#8221;

Another mom mentioned that she would rather have her kids involved in too many things, than in too few.

&amp;#8220;I don&amp;#8217;t want them getting into trouble,&amp;#8221; she said. &amp;#8220;I think it is good to keep them busy.&amp;#8221;

And she has no trouble finding ways to fill that time. In yet another change from our childhoods, (at least partly brought on by the fact that parents are willing to chauffeur) there seem to be endless options to keep kids busy.

Part of this also is likely due to the fact that more is known about what activities can benefit kids as they grow.

Another dad mentioned that he and his wife just added piano lessons to their daughters&amp;#8217; already lengthy lists of activities.

&amp;#8220;We wanted them to have music,&amp;#8221; he said, &amp;#8220;because it helps build creative thinking.&amp;#8221;

The problem is, there is no right answer except on a case-by-case basis &amp;#8212; and even then it is tough to tell.

We all just have to do what we think is best for our kids every step of the way.

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<guid isPermaLink="false">15137403@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/</guid>
<dc:subject>Mother&apos;s Daze columns</dc:subject>
<dc:date>2009-10-08T07:47:23-04:00</dc:date>
<dc:creator>jikelley@coxohio.com</dc:creator>
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<item>
<title>Growing up Catholic</title>

    

    


<link>http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/entries/2009/10/02/growing_up_cath.html</link>
<description>When we moved to Ohio seven years ago and started to settle into our community, my son &amp;#8212; then 7 years old &amp;#8212; posed an innocent question: &amp;#8220;Can we join a church?&amp;#8221; Oh, the Catholic guilt burned in my soul!...</description>
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When we moved to Ohio seven years ago and started to settle into our community, my son &amp;#8212; then 7 years old &amp;#8212; posed an innocent question: &amp;#8220;Can we join a church?&amp;#8221;

Oh, the Catholic guilt burned in my soul!

You see, I had lapsed in my faith; and although my Methodist-raised Hubby and I married in the Catholic Church and our children had been baptized into the faith as babies, we were Holiday Churchgoers up to that point &amp;#8212; Palm Sunday, Easter, Christmas, weddings, visits to Grandma&amp;#8217;s, anything that required a new suit of clothes. No excuses; I just got lazy.

But my little boy&amp;#8217;s honest query stirred by heart and spurred me to action. We joined a nearby parish, and although we&amp;#8217;re still kind of hit-and-miss at Mass (does this blog count as confession?), the kids regularly attend Faith Formation classes &amp;#8212; what we used to call CCD back in the day &amp;#8212; and have received their sacraments.

I&amp;#8217;m happy to say they&amp;#8217;ve taken to religion rather nicely: My 11-year-old went as far as putting a Bible on her Christmas list a few years back. (Thanks, Grandma H, for hunting down a cool version aimed at tween girls!)

My now-13-year-old son has a deeply holy side that surprises me sometimes. 

One day last year I noticed that he had written all the way down one side of his backpack IN SHARPIE.

&amp;#8220;What the &amp;#8230;?!&amp;#8221; I said angrily. I peered closer, expecting to see rock lyrics scrawled across the camouflage bag. But no. He had written down his favorite Bible verses. And how do you stay mad at that? :p

During Mass, I often see him slipping $5 or $10 of his own money into the collection plate. When I asked him once why he had donated his whole allowance, he simply said, &amp;#8220;It&amp;#8217;s for a good cause.&amp;#8221; This mom was humbled.    

Now he&amp;#8217;s facing a spiritual milestone as he goes through Confirmation. Through this sacrament, he will complete his &amp;#8220;initiation&amp;#8221; that started at baptism and become a stronger Christian in the process. In our church, it will involve daylong retreats with his peers and a few service projects done with his well-chosen Sponsor.

For my part, I am tasked with writing a &amp;#8220;Care Letter&amp;#8221; to him, sharing my hopes for him as he matures in his beliefs, celebrating how proud I am of the choices he&amp;#8217;s made thus far, relating tales from my own journey. I have a feeling it&amp;#8217;s going to be one long letter.

My son is blessed to have many people who care about him, and the second part of my Confirmation assignment is to solicit &amp;#8220;Care Letters&amp;#8221; from those people. 

I&amp;#8217;ve decided I&amp;#8217;m going to be an equal-opportunity employer: The people closest to him may not be Catholic, or Christian, or even religious, but they are going to be asked to pen a note of encouragement or affirmation for him.

Later in the Confirmation process, he&amp;#8217;ll get this batch of letters and know for certain that he does not walk alone through this life. It&amp;#8217;s a good reminder for us all.

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<guid isPermaLink="false">15054203@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/mommy/</guid>
<dc:subject></dc:subject>
<dc:date>2009-10-02T02:14:32-04:00</dc:date>
<dc:creator>lbaker@coxohio.com</dc:creator>
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