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Wall Street Fat Cats need our money now!

Usually I respond to e-mail solicitations asking for my participation in monetary deals by hitting the delete key. This one seems different somehow? Do you think that they are on the up and up with this? Do you think that your average American taxpayer will benefit by agreeing to these demands??

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson

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When the history books are written about this period I wonder what they will say?? If this bailout happens the way they are insisting that it must happen every single person in America will be on the hook for an average of 2300 dollars.

What do we gain by it? Is this going to help the average American taxpayer or is it just a cynical looting to benefit those who created this financial disaster in the first place? According to Forbes Magazine the Treasury Department admits the $700 billion bailout figure is “not based on any particular data point. We just wanted to choose a really large number.”

Vick Mickunas

Permalink | Comments (10) | Post your comment | Categories: laughable

Comments

By vick

September 29, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

That bill went down faster than the stock market. It must be a terrible bill?

By time

September 29, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

It’s all not so funny money and we are possibly witnessing the decline and fall of our way of life. What would happen if we really figured it was all just paper? It’s time to rent The Magic Christian and revel in the reveal.

By Page Turner

September 29, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

James, way to respond to a junk e-mail with another forwarded junk e-mail. Unfortunately, the math in this one is a little off. $85 billion divided by 200 million = $425 “for every adult” or roughly equivalent to the stimulus checks that helped the economy so much. “How do you spell Economic Boom,” indeed! Meanwhile, each American’s share of the national debt is currently $32,340.06 (according to the debt clock at www.brillig.com/debt_clock), BEFORE the proposed corporate handouts.

By vick

September 29, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

They are voting on the bill today (Monday). Do you think that it will pass in this current form? I don’t.

By James

September 26, 2008 1:20 PM | Link to this

I’m against the $85 BILLION bailout of AIG. Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a ‘We Deserve It’ dividend. To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bona fide U.S. citizens, aged 18+. Our population is about 301 million counting every man, woman and child. So, 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up. Now, divide 200 million, 18+ adults into $85 billon - that equals $425,000.00 each! Yes, my plan is to give that $425,000 to every adult as a ‘We Deserve It’ dividend. Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So, let’s assume a tax rate of 30%. Every would pay $127,500.00 in taxes. That sends $25.5 billion right back to Uncle Sam! It also means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A husband and wife would have $595,000.00! What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00? Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads Put away money for college - it’ll really be there Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs Buy a new car - create jobs Invest in the market - capital drives growth Pay for your parent’s medical insurance - health care improves Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else Remember this is for every adult U.S. citizen, 18 and older (including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehmann Brothers and every other company that is cutting back) and of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces. If we’re going to re-distribute wealth let’s really do it! Instead of trickling out a puny $1,000.00 (‘Republican vote buy’) economic incentive. If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult U.S. citizen!! As for AIG - liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General go back to being American General. Sell off the real estate. Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up. We deserve the money and AIG doesn’t. Sure it’s a crazy idea, but can you imagine the coast-to-coast block party?! How do you spell Economic Boom? W-e D-e-s-e-r-v-e I-t d-i-v-i-d-e-n-d! I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion ‘We Deserve It’ dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington, D.C. . And remember, this plan only really costs $59.5 billion because $25.5 billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

By vick

September 25, 2008 8:26 AM | Link to this

The president had an opportunity to explain his plan-to rally people around the cause-to inspire Americans in these turbulent times-to give us hope-to answer our questions. Did he do those things in his speech last night? I wasn’t impressed. George W. Bush was almost robotic-just going through the motions without emotion or charisma. Just the one half-hearted grin at the end. Can you imagine Barack Obama giving a speech that limp and mechanistic? I cannot. Bush wants a blank check and huge powers for his treasury secretary and after what we have seen these past 8 years, can we really TRUST these guys??

By Mark from St Paul

September 24, 2008 10:18 PM | Link to this

Raoul, whatever lets you sleep at night. But I would like to meet these Democratic bureaucrats who worked these blunders during the Reagan, Bush and Bush II presidencies. From my perspective I’ve been depressed for decades as Democratic office holders conceded more and more to insistent Republicans who demanded the “reforms” that got us to where we are today. More of our system is out of whack than just these overdrawn Wall Street firms. Workplace compensation is an ongoing scandal as actual workers do more and more for less, while top execs take far too much credit and pay. Market capitalism is supposed to eliminate the weak, not starve the efficient. Predatory management practices have to be ended before our entire way of life is destroyed by Wall Street’s winner takes all mentality. A democracy is judged by the relative affluence of its poor, not by how many millionaires it has.

By Raoul

September 24, 2008 9:34 PM | Link to this

Mark, this economic disaster is the fault of stupid American consumers, and a runaway entitlement mentality that Democrats have fostered for the last 40 years. Private corporations that have the backing of government institutions (Freddie and Fannie) are a ready-made formula for greed, largesse, and the rape and pillaging of taxpayers. Follow the money and you will find a real horror show of Democrat beaurocrat appointees gorging themselves on the public trough. Enron paled in comparison. Stupid American consumers who have been taught to be victims by our public school system have created this problem. We should be educating our young people how NOT to get caught in this type of personal financial crisis, how NOT to be victims, and most importantly, that we will NOT always be there to bail them out. This may signal the end of our country as we know it.

By lmj

September 24, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

Vick, This letter is obviously a fraudulent appeal to your basic sense of decency and caring for your fellow person. How can I tell? There are no misspellings or grammatical errors. Interesting that we are possibly bailing out the companies, but not the homeowners who fell victim to the flip in our economy.

By Mark from St Paul

September 24, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this

Vick, I did some Googling and if the “Phil Gram” referenced above is Phil Gramm, former Senator from Texas, well, I hate to tell you but you’ve fallen in with a bad crowd. These guys will bleed you dry and then, when you’re laying in the gutter, they’ll point at some random person of color and they’ll start shouting for the police. ——— Not that outrageous a joke, not when Neal Cavuto is running around blaming a 1977 act of Congress for making it easier for urban dwellers in redlined neighborhoods to get loans as being responsible for the debacle of the past few weeks. ——- At least both political parties seem to agree that the problem lays entirely with Bush and his Congressional enablers. Republicans blaming Republicans? I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen McCain’s commercials.
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