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August 2008 | Celebrity Worship
 

Home > Blogs > Celebrity Worship > Archives > 2008 > August

August 2008

Halle Berry has a cute baby - no surprise!

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Halle Berry and Nahla Ariela, 5 months, stroll through the Los Angeles Zoo Saturday during a visit with Berry’s mother Judith. They’re from Ohio.

Sorry, no salacious news. Just a picture. But it’s nice, no?

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James Gandolfini gets married

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James Gandolfini and Deborah Lin got married in her hometown of Honolulu on Saturday, Aug. 30.

“There was a nice big kiss at the end with both hands on the cheeks” a guest told People magazine. “They looked great.”

The wedding of Gandolfini, 46, and Lin, 40, an intimate ceremony at Central Union Church, was attended by friends and family .

According to the guest, Lin, a former model, strolled down the aisle in a white gown made of Italian lace while her tuxedoed groom stood waiting as a harpist played the “Hawaiian Wedding Song” in the background.

Gandolfini’s son Michael, 8, from his first marriage to Marcy Wudarsk (which ended in 2002), served as best man.

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Diddy makes a gas-price sacrifice

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Sean “Diddy” Combs complained about the “… too high” price of gas and pleaded for free oil from his “Saudi Arabia brothers and sisters” in a YouTube video (complete with profanity, beware). The hip-hop mogul said he is now flying on commercial airlines instead of in private jets, which Combs said had previously cost him $200,000 and up for a roundtrip between New York and Los Angeles.

“I’m actually flying commercial,” Diddy said before walking onto an airplane, sitting in a first-class seat and flashing his boarding pass to the camera. “That’s how high gas prices are. I’m at the gate right now. This is really happening, proof gas prices are too high. Tell whoever the next president is we need to bring gas prices down.”

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Jonas, Jonas, Swift & Gomez double-date

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But who ends up holding hands? Read on.

This was a double-date made in heaven, or in some PR manager’s corner office: Reports are in that the Jonas Brothers — all three of them plus their body guard Big Rob — ate dinner together at Tao in NYC, joined by Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez.

Joe, 19, and Taylor Swift, 18 (that’s them pictured), have apparently been interested in each other since she appeared in his band’s concert film. Disney star Selena Gomez, 16, has been coy about her relationship with Nick, 15.

“Well, she’s an amazing girl, and anybody would be lucky to be dating her,” Nick told Ryan Seacrest earlier this month.

Last month, Rolling Stone published a photo of the couple embracing backstage.

Swift and Gomez, the star of Wizards of Waverly Place, left the restaurant holding hands, which may not have been what the Jonas bros had in mind. Kevin, 20, and bodyguard Big Rob were apparently along for the ride — and a nice meal.

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Lohan family death adds to family drama

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Richard Lohan, Lindsay’s paternal grandfather, died Thursday, Aug. 28, after a battle with colon cancer, which, according to Michael Lohan, has prompted a truce in the battle between father and daughter that escalated this week.

Of course Michael, Richard’s son and Lindsay’s dad, couldn’t resist using his father’s death as a reason to talk to E! News and indulge in the kind of self-serving publicity seeking that we at Celebrity Worship live for.

“I was holding him, laying in bed with him, when he died,” Michael Lohan said. “Lindsay did reach out to me. She sent me a message this morning. She said, ‘Now papa has found peace and maybe we can find peace in our lives, too.’”

News of the prospective father-daughter peace accord comes just a day after Lindsay and girlfriend Samantha Ronson took time out to blog about Michael’s “concern” for their relationship.

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“If he really cared about me and my life, then he would learn to respect my wishes by staying out of it,” Lindsay wrote, while Ronson called Michael “so desperate for attention that he goes to the media whenever possible.”

Earlier this week, Michael Lohan told E! News (obviously his favorite news outlet) that his 73-year-old father’s declining health was the “real reason” he wasn’t making a big deal out of his recent engagement to longtime girlfriend Erin Muller.

Richard had been in failing health for some time, with Michael saying in March that the cancer had spread to his lungs. Lindsay had made plans to visit her granddad, who was hospitalized in Long Island, N.Y., over the Easter holiday.

And although arrangements surely have to be made, Michael still managed to use the opportunity to take another swipe at ex-wife Dina Lohan, whom he has publicly accused of being a “two-face” for supposedly fretting about Lindsay’s lifestyle around him and then acting as if everything is fine-and-dandy around their daughter.

“My son Michael called and he was wonderful. He’s coming home to be with me for a fews days. I spoke to Ali and Cody, too,” Michael Sr. said. “I’m hoping they will come to the wake. I asked her if she’s going to be at the wake, but it sounds like Dina is discouraging her from going. She’s deterring her from going to the wake, to the funeral. I said, ‘It’s only right that you go.’ But Dina hasn’t called, absolutely not. She’s too busy out having fun in the Hamptons.”

OK, looks like Dina’s staying away, but how much you wanna bet the cameras will be there? As invited guests, naturally.

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Duchovny in sex-addiction clinic

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Listen, we all know that addictions aren’t anything to sneer at, joke about or question with a healthy cynicism, but this announcement is asking for it — the timing is too good.

X Files” and “Californication” actor David Duchovny has entered a rehabilitation facility for sex addiction. His lawyer issued a statement from Duchovny saying he did so voluntarily, and that “I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family.”

Here’s where the strange timing comes in: Duchovny, 48, plays a sex-obsessed character (named Hank Moody) on Showtime’s “Californication,” beginning its second season Sept. 28. Duchovny’s wife, Tea Leoni, has a new movie, “Ghost Town,” opening Sept. 19. Publicity sometimes comes in the form of voluntary treatment for sex addiction, to be sure, but it’s possible he’s really got a problem. We may never know, but the truth is out there. (Somebody had to say it.)

Leoni and Duchovny have been married since 1997, and they have two children, Madelaine West, 9, and son Kyd, 6.

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MacKenzie Phillips arrested on drug charges

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MacKenzie Phillips — she who brought forth a trend in naming babies that has yet to abate — was arrested at Los Angeles International Airport Wednesday, Aug. 27, for alleged drug possession.

“She was being screened by airport security when a small amount of what appeared to be heroin and cocaine were found on her person,” Sgt. Jim Holcomb said. “She was arrested at about 10 a.m. and is still in custody.”

Phillips, 48, is no stranger to drugs. She was fired from the sitcom “One Day at a Time” because of her drug addiction. One day at a time, indeed. You know her father is the late John Phillips of the Mamas and the Papas, right? And, according to Wikipedia, her first name is Laura — a baby-naming trend that never really caught on. For good reason.

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McConaughey’s mom: TMI, lady!

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Matthew McConaughey comes by his crazy naturally. Read on to learn that Matthew’s penchant for nakedity is apparently genetic, as well.

In her new book, “I Amaze Myself!” Kay McConaughey gleefully tells stories ranging from Matthew’s conception to how her husband died in a compromising position — with her. On a Monday.

“On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love,” Kay, 77, told Us Weekly. “But one day, all of a sudden, it just happened. I knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing,” she says. “But it was just the best way to go!”

And when her man couldn’t be revived, she made sure he was taken from the house in the buff. “I was just so proud to show off my big old Jim McConaughey — and his gift,” she says.

The mother also says that her most famous son, 38, was a happy accident. It was just after she’d married Matthew’s dad for the third time.

“I was deciding, ‘Do I want to have another baby? Do I want to have an affair? Or go back to school?’” she says. “That’s when Matthew was conceived. We had tried for 16 years and no baby. So Matthew was a big surprise!”

Sometimes family stories should stay in the family.

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Phelps to host SNL’s season premiere

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Sure, he’s funny-looking, but will he make us laugh?

Michael Phelps, fresh from the gold-prospecting Beijing Olympics, is taking the spotlight with him to New York, ready to kick off the 34th season of “Saturday Night Live” on Sept. 13. Lil Wayne will be the musical guest. Phelps, like LeBron James and Peyton Manning before him, hopes he can bring the athletic funny and add another line to his resume, which right now is kind of a one-note song.

Skater Nancy Kerrigan and skier Jonny Moseley are the only other former Olympians who’ve hosted SNL.

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Jessica Simpson + Tony Romo: TLF

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Tony Romo is Jessica Simpson’s “perfect guy,” and she’s telling the world. She tells him too, not to worry. Just in time for football season!

“I just told him today, ‘You’re the love of my life,’ ” she said in People magazine’s newest cover story. “I don’t really ever say that to anybody.”

Simpson, 28 (as is Dallas Cowboys quarterback Romo), also co-wrote a song for her man, “You’re My Sunday” and, in a true modern-day sign of devotion, changed her cell phone number and e-mail address to cut off any potential communication from her exes.

“I don’t want anybody that’s been in my life [before] in my life anymore,” she says. “I don’t even want them to have any way of contacting me.”

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Romo hasn’t done the same, but Simpson brushes it off. “I’m not a jealous girlfriend,” she says — even though in a recent interview his ex, Carrie Underwood, claims she still hears from him.

As for her own onetime relationship with John Mayer - which began in 2006 and fizzled out last summer - Simpson survived its rockiness by doing some self-appraisal afterwards.

“I had to regain self-esteem and self-value,” she says.

When it comes to relationships, Simpson says she gives over her heart fully and expects the same in return: “I just love, so I don’t understand when people can’t do exactly what I do.”

If you want more on this story — but we can’t imagine why you would — you can get People’s latest issue, on stands Friday. Jessica will be smiling because she’s in love. Have you heard?

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Tom Cruise & Co. sued for $11 million

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Twelve movie extras are seeking $11 million in damages from Tom Cruise and his production company after suffering broken bones, cuts and bruises in the filming of World War II movie “Valkyrie” in Berlin last year.

The extras were injured on August 19, 2007, when the side panel of a period German army truck burst open as it drove around a corner in central Berlin.

A lawyer for the extras said that witness statements indicated the truck’s side panel had not been properly secured. Cruise was not on the set at the time, and it’s probably not his job to secure truck panels, but whatever.

“Valkyrie” is named after the codename for a plot to assassinate Adolf Hitler concocted by senior German military officers during World War Two. Cruise plays ringleader Claus von Stauffenberg. The film’s original release date has been postponed to December 26 from July 4 this year.

The German government initially banned the production from shooting on location at the Berlin site where the plot was hatched and the conspirators executed. It later changed its mind after months of national debate that focused in part on membership of the Scientologist spiritual movement, of which Cruise is a member.

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Why Britney’s snubbing the VMAs

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She’s not, really, says her manager. It’s just that, well, she’s busy, and never had any plans to show up and make another fool out of herself. Really!

“Contrary to media reports, Britney was never slated to perform on this year’s VMAs,” Larry Rudolph, Spears’ manager at Jive Records, said. “She’s in the middle of recording her next album, which is going amazingly well, and her focus remains on the studio.”

Honestly, we think the real reason she’s staying away is that Russell Brand creeped her out. And we DO understand.

Spears’ “Gimme More” comeback performance during last year’s VMAs was one of the most-talked-about moments of 2007. The tabloid queen is currently appearing in spots promoting this year’s ceremony.

In June, MTV Networks Music Group President Van Toffler said the network wasn’t ruling out giving viewers another dose of Spears at the VMAs. MTV later confirmed they were in talks to have Spears appear in some capacity. The rebounding pop queen is nominated for video of the year for “Piece of Me.” This year’s VMAs will air live Sept. 7 from Paramount Pictures Studios in Los Angeles.

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Keith Urban has a bad back

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Keith Urban has a slipped disc, a mystery injury that’s not keeping him off stage, but one he apparently likes to talk about. Urban’s rep wouldn’t say what caused the injury, but that new baby of his is probably up to what, 15 pounds? And wife Nicole Kidman may have broken triple digits with the recent pregnancy — but let’s not go there. Remember, Keith: Lift with your legs!

Urban, 40, told the audience about his ailment Saturday in Kelseyville, Calif., but apparently went on to deliver a great show. .

Urban has been dividing his time between Australia — where he, Nicole and their 7-week old daughter, Sunday Rose, have been visiting family — and his North American tour dates. He’ll be in Indy on Sept. 13, if you feel like making the drive. Can’t promise how his back will be.

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Nicollette Sheridan, Michael Bolton call it quits

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The engagement lasted two-plus years, but alas, marriage was not to be. At least not yet …

Nicollette Sheridan and Michael Bolton have broken up again, ending their second-time-around romance. According to Sheridan’s rep, they want their privacy — Not a problem. Now that we know they’re not setting a date anytime soon, we’ll relax the surveillance.

The couple’s relationship originally started in 1992, and lasted for five years. Bolton, 55, and Sheridan (who’s in “Desperate Housewives”), 44, kicked it back into gear in 2005, and announced their engagement in March 2006.

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Kate Hudson sued over hair-care ingredient

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Kate Hudson’s new hair-care line, David Babaii for Wildaid, is quite eco-friendly because of her involvement; scientists say that’s nice, but the idea and the “secret ingredient” was theirs — they discovered it and and Kate stole it, with nary a nod nor a wink nor a cent of compensation.

The secret ingredient is some kind of volcanic ash and “environmental life” (sounds a bit slimy) called Vanuatu Complex. If you’re into this sort of thing, here’s the lawsuit in its entirety.

If you’re not, here’s the rest of the story, in English, more or less.

L.A.-based 220 Laboratories brought 17 causes of action against Hudson and her hair guru Babaii, including fraud, misappropriation of trade secrets, breach of contract, breach of confidence and a host of other not-so-nice allegations, claiming the famous duo welshed on an oral contract establishing the lab as the sole providers of the range’s raw materials.

Under the terms of an August 2006 oral contract, 220 Laboratories says it agreed to develop and manufacture the line around the so-called “Vanuatu Complex,” basically samples of environmental life and volcanic ash found on the Vanuatu Islands that, apparently, works wonders on flyaways.

However, the lab claims that, after months of dealings and a change in the Wildaid management, Hudson & Co. opted to take the secret ingredient list and hightail it over to a competing manufacturer, who agreed to work on the line at a lower cost than 220 Laboratories.

Much to the lab’s dismay, the competitors’ products and packaging were a little too similar to their original idea, as was the product’s inclusion of the so-called Vanuatu Complex.

Hyping the special ingredient continued with a high-profile appearance by Babaii on the Home Shopping Network in July, to which Hudson called in to promote the products, as well as in promotional videos for the line, which officially launched a month earlier.

220 Laboratories claims it neither consented to the use of its ingredient nor the name and, even if there was consent, the lab has yet to receive any form of payment. The plaintiffs ars seeking compensatory and punitive damages plus interest.

According to Hudson’s reps, this is the first she’s heard of any problems.

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Jenna Jameson announces pregnancy

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It’s early days, but Jenna Jameson, she of the porn past, is expecting a baby.

“Yes, I can confirm I’m pregnant. It’s still early, so I’m being cautious. I’m resting as much as possible,” she told Usmagazine.com exclusively. “I’m so happy!”

She adds that she and boyfriend of two years, mixed martial arts fighter Tito Ortiz, “are still in a state of shock. I’m just saying super healthy,” she says. “I’ve moved down to the beach with Tito — I love being by the beach.”

Jameson, 34, split from adult film studio owner Jay Grdina in 2006 and from porn star Brad Armstrong in 2001. It’ll be different for her and Ortiz, she said. “I think I’m gonna stay unmarried and just go for the babies!” she told Us. “I’m following in Angelina’s footsteps!”

Jenna’s been quite open about her baby lust: She previously told Us she miscarried a baby in November 2004 after being diagnosed with malignant melanoma. But the devout Catholic — who has tried in vitro — told Us, “It was all in God’s plan.”

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New “Idol” judge speaks out

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Kara DioGuardi said there’s no “American Idol” shakeup, so cut the nasty talk.

DioGuardi spoke during a conference call Monday, Aug. 25, hours after Fox announced that the songwriter and producer will join the show as a judge.

DioGuardi, a music industry powerhouse, has written and produced hits for Celine Dion, Kelly Clarkson and Christina Aguilera (among others). She will meet up for the first time with Idol’s original judges Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul today for the New York auditions of the upcoming season, which will air on Fox in January.

Does Abdul, Idol’s lone female for seven seasons, feel threatened? DioGuardi doesn’t think so.

“I haven’t spoken to her. I would think she’d be excited,” DioGuardi said, noting that she and Abdul collaborated on the Kylie Minogue hit “Spinning Around” in 2000.

(See what Paula really thinks here).

Fans who were surprised with the announcement that Idol will add another judge are not alone. “I almost fell off the chair,” said DioGuardi, who was approached for the gig and who’s hoping to create “a new chemistry as well as keeping the old” with the expansion of the judges’ panel.

DioGuardi told reporters she doesn’t know where she’ll sit or how four judges will break a tie during the auditions.

“I’m a little nervous,” admitted DioGuardi, who said her approach to judging is simple. “I’m going to be a straight shooter and say it like I see it and maintain that philosophy.”

So is she more of a Paula or a Simon? “I’m somebody who’s really honest and gives an opinion,” she said. “If I feel I need to be hard, I will be. And if I feel I need to be more nurturing, I will be.”

One thing DioGuardi will have to get used to is being recognized. While she’s known as one of the best in the music business, “I’m not a household name,” she said. “I’m putting some money into buying some makeup.”

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Charlie Sheen, new wife expecting baby

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Charlie Sheen and his wife, real estate investor Brooke Mueller, 31, are expecting their first child together.

“Brooke and I are thrilled! She’s the best stepmom Sam, Lola and Cassandra could ever hope for,” Sheen, 42, tells Usmagazine.com, referring to his daughters Sam, 4, and Lola, 2 (with ex-wife Denise Richards), and Cassandra, 23 (with ex-girlfriend Paula Profitt).

Sheen adds, “Seeing her love and affection with those three, I know she’ll be an amazing mom. Unless I bat 100%, perhaps a boy awaits us.”

The couple got married in May.

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Abdul concerned about new “Idol” judge

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Paula Abdul better watch her back: There’s a new judge in town.

“American Idol” is adding Grammy-nominated songwriter Kara DioGuardi to its panel for the next season, auditions for which are going on now. According to Paula, she’s not altogether comfortable with the idea.

On Phoenix’s 104.7 KISS FM Johnjay & Rich radio show Monday, Abdul said she was excited but added, “I am concerned about the audience and acceptance. Time will tell. We’ll see.”

She said producers hired DioGuardi because they “wanted to try a change. They always tried for a fourth judge because it followed the format of the original show, Pop Idol,” Abdul said. “We haven’t had much luck with that working, but we’re gonna give it another try.”

Asked if she, Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell have sat down with DioGuardi to test their chemistry, Abdul replied, “Nope,” and laughed.

The inevitable will happen — two judges one way, two another — what then?

“That’s gonna be weird if it’s a split decision,” Abdul said. “I’m sure Simon will get to make the final [call]. It takes the fun out of all the hard work I do to push those kids through,” she added.

DioGuardi will be involved in “everything” (including live shows), said Abdul, who is in New York City for Idol auditions. “We shoot tomorrow.”

The show premieres in January.

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Here’s the OFFICIAL DWTS lineup!

OK, so we were a little off — but a lot on, too.

The official “cast” of this season’s “Dancing with the Stars” has been announced, and Kim Kardashian will indeed be boogying her butt off — or so she hopes! She’s a trooper, announcing that she’ll be a contestant even after cutting her foot on a glass table Sunday!

The 13 celebrities slated to compete on the new season of ABC’s top-rated dance contest (it’s second only to Fox’s “American Idol”), premiering Sept. 22, are:

  • Kim Kardashian, reality TV star
  • Cloris Leachman, 82-year-old actress
  • Lance Bass, former ‘N Sync singer
  • Toni Braxton, R&B singer
  • Brooke Burke, former Playboy model
  • Maurice Greene, former gold-medal Olympic sprinter
  • Cody Linley, 18-year-old from Disney’s “Hannah Montana”
  • Susan Lucci, soap-opera queen
  • Jeff Ross, comedian
  • Warren Sapp, former all-pro defensive tackle
  • Misty May-Treanor, beach volleyball gold medalist (she’s the short one)
  • Ted McGinley, Jefferson on “Married … with Children”
  • Rocco DiSpirito, cute celebrity chef

All 13 couples will compete during the Sept. 22 two-hour premiere; one couple will be cut on Sept. 23. The elimination of a second couple will be announced on the Sept. 24 episode, which will also include performances by the Jonas Brothers and Jesse McCartney.

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Miley’s Sweet 16 birthday wish list

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Miley Cyrus’ Sweet 16 will be a Disneyland bash second to none — but all that might be secondary to the fact that Miley wants a car.

“I definitely want to get something bad on the road,” Miley said, adding that her new ride must be “big enough for all my friends and to scare all the cars away from me. I’m a good driver but it’s everyone else that I’m worried about!”

OMG. Seriously.

Miley is also hoping for a Wii Fit and a new puppy for her birthday. As for the coming year, Miley’s hope is that it will be chill. That means mellow.

“This year, one of my goals is not to stress, just kind of let life come as it is,” Miley said. “I’m going to try and do that a little more. Just take things step by step instead of always having a plan.”

(Tickets for Miley’s birthday at Disneyland — Oct. 5 from 6 to 11 — go on sale Aug. 30 at noon Ohio time. They’re $250 each, limited to the first 5,000 fans, at www.disneyparks.com/miley)

Miley Cyrus in photos

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McCartney set to break Israeli “Beatle Ban”

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Paul McCartney is ready to perform in Israel, 40 years after the Beatles were banned from playing in the Holy Land. Word is the show will go on in Tel Aviv on Sept. 25, but according to McCartney’s publicist, nothing’s been confirmed.

Still, Israeli media were abuzz with excitement Sunday, Aug. 24, with news of McCartney’s visit — he was scheduled to play earlier in the year, but the show was canceled. The Beatles were set to tour the Jewish state in 1965, but were refused entry permits over concerns the group’s lyrics could corrupt Israeli youth.

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Madonna disses McCain, showcases Britney

Britney Spears’ video segment from Madonna’s Sticky & Sweet tour has hit the web. The big-screen seg wasn’t a surprise: Stills from the video shoot have been circulating for about a month. This is the real deal, the final product, shot from the crowd on somebody’s camera.

In the segment (which played while Madonna sang “Human Nature”), Spears is trapped in an elevator and whispers the lines “express yourself, don’t repress yourself.” The video ends with her saying, “It’s Britney, (rhymes with witch).”

Another video segment during the four-act show carried images of destruction, global warming, Hitler, Zimbabwe’s President Robert Mugabe — and U.S. Senator John McCain. Another sequence, shown later, pictured slain Beatle John Lennon, followed by Al Gore, Mahatma Gandhi and finally McCain’s Democratic rival Barack Obama.

Madonna kicked off her tour in front of 40,000 people Saturday night, Aug. 23, at Cardiff’s Millennium Stadium in Wales. The tour will now moves across Europe, hitting London’s Wembley Stadium on Sept. 11 and Paris on Sept. 20. From there, it goes to North America in October before wrapping up Dec. 18 in Sao Paulo, Brazil.

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Michael Phelps seen kissing Aussie swimmer

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After being publicly dissed by fellow gold-medal swimmer Amanda Beard, Michael Phelps’ love life may finally have some worthy ballast: Phelps, 23, was spotted in Beijing making out with Australian swimming sensation and wild-child Stephanie Rice, according to the New York Post’s Page Six:

Here’s the essence:

Michael Phelps doesn’t have a girlfriend, but he celebrated his record-breaking eight gold medals in Beijing by sneaking off for a sizzling game of tonsil hockey with one of Australia’s hottest Olympians.
Phelps, fresh from shattering Mark Spitz’s 36-year-old record, was spotted Monday night in a hot make-out session with Down Under swimmer Stephanie Rice, a source tells The Post’s Clemente Lisi and Luke Dennehy. The pumped-up pair clinched and swapped spit at a celebratory bash outside the Olympic Village.
The Baltimore Bullet swooped in for the lip-lock with the 20-year-old brunette just weeks after she split from Aussie swimmer Eamon Sullivan. “All the swimmers are talking about it, and [Sullivan] is cut up about what happened,” the source said.
The day after the face-sucking frolics, Phelps and Rice cheekily posed together for Speedo - laughing and playfully groping each other as a photographer snapped them in their swimsuits. “I definitely admire him for his athletic ability and everything he’s achieved,” gushed Rice, who won three gold medals of her own. “I’m just really glad to be in the mix with that.”

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Jason Lee, girlfriend have baby girl

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Jason Lee (“My Name is Earl”) and girlfriend Ceren Alkac announced the birth of their baby girl, the couple’s first, who’s 13 days old today (she was born Aug. 10).

Lee, 38, and Alkac were spotted picking up a marriage license in June, but so far, there’s been no news of any marriage taking place. And so far, the baby’s name is a mystery. After we hear her name, it may remain a mystery — Lee’s 4-year-old son is the infamously named Pilot Inspektor. (Pilot’s mom is Lee’s ex-fiancee, actress Beth Riesgraf.)

Lee said they came up with Pilot’s name after listening to indie band Grandaddy’s 2000 album The Sophtware Slump. “The opening track, ‘He’s Simple, He’s Dumb, He’s the Pilot,’ absolutely blew my mind when I first heard it,” Lee told Entertainment Weekly. “It was from this track that my wife, Beth, came up with the name Pilot for our son.” OK — that explains Pilot. What about Inspektor?

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What’s in a name? Ask Zuma Nesta Rock

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By naming their baby Zuma Nesta Rock, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale “have proven decisively that they’re masters in choosing names that are both highly unusual and carry a lot of personal meaning,” baby name expert Pamela Redmond Satran, co-author of The Baby Name Bible, told US magazine.

Highly unusual. Well, yeah. As for the personal meaning? Here’s the expert’s explanation:

“They’ve continued their own place-naming tradition by naming their son after Zuma Beach in Malibu,” Satran explains, citing as her source a profile of Rossdale in which he said he had an beachie epiphany there after an all-nighter … keep reading for the story.

“He was standing on Zuma Beach in the early morning after working all night as a production assistant on a music video and was quoted as saying he realized he was wasting his time,” Satran says. “He drove up the coast, slept in his car, and started making the moves that would launch his career.”

Zuma is also the name of a 1975 album by Neil Young and Crazy Horse. Nesta, meanwhile, was Bob Marley’s first name before an immigration official switched it with his middle name, Robert. “This name obviously links to big brother Kingston’s and is another nod to Jamaica and reggae,” says Satran.

Bob Marley’s son Ziggy used Nesta as a middle name for his son, as did his other son Rohan, who has a son named John Nesta Marley with singer Lauryn Hill.

The name Rock “needs no explanation,” given that the baby’s parents are rock stars, Satran says, and the fact that we’re “long overdue for a Rock Hudson-inspired revival.”

Frankly, the name Rock cries out for an explanation. Rock Hudson-inspired revival — who is she kidding? Ah well, as long as he’s healthy!

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Ryan Gosling, Rachel McAdams back at it

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Apparently “The Notebook” didn’t close completely — or something. Here’s photographic evidence that the stars of that chick-flick tear-jerker, who dated from 2004’s “Notebook” wrap until sometime in 2007, are heating back up.

They were caught on camera kissing and hugging at Toronto restaurant Grace; McAdams recently made an appearance at Gosling’s weekly DJ gig at Green Door lounge in Hollywood.

It may not hold up in court, but it’s good enough for most of us.

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Dancing with the Stars cast revealed

It may not be official-official, but we’re going with it because www.gossipsauce.com has it and we don’t want to be left behind. The official announcement comes Monday on “Good Morning America,” but here you have the lineup for the seventh season of “Dancing with the Stars,” premiering Sept. 22 on ABC:

  • Kim Kardashian, reality TV star
  • Cloris Leachman, 82-year-old actress
  • Lance Bass, former ‘N Sync singer
  • Toni Braxton, R&&B singer
  • Brooke Burke, former Playboy model
  • Maurice Greene, former gold-medal Olympic sprinter
  • Cody Linley, 18-year-old from Disney’s “Hannah Montana”
  • Susan Lucci, soap-opera queen
  • Jeff Ross, comedian
  • Warren Sapp, former all-pro defensive tackle
  • Misty May-Treanor, beach volleyball gold medalist (she’s the short one)
  • Ted McGinley, Jefferson on “Married … with Children”
  • Mark McGrath, Sugar Ray singer, former TV host.

Here’s one last spoiler from GossipSauce.com: Professional dance hottie Maksim Chmerkovskiy is returning to the show after taking a season off.

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Gwen Stefani names him Zuma Nesta Rock

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E! is reporting that the early-morning hospital run by Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale was no practice drill — no, no. The celebrity news source is confirming that a baby was indeed born at 12:46 p.m. and that the baby’s name is Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale—and he’s a boy, weighing in at 8.5 pounds.

This is their second child; their son, Kingston, is 2. (Gwen is 38 and Gavin is 40, FYI.)

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Rumer Willis has a boyfriend

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And he’s old enough to be her stepfather. Ha ha.

Besides being born, Rumer Willis — spawn of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis — hasn’t done a lot to hold our attention; nonetheless we’re a little obsessed. Now that she’s got a movie out (she’s the nerd in “The House Bunny”), we have an excuse, slight as it is.

Rumer, who turned 20 Aug. 16, unveiled a boyfriend named Micah Alberti at the movie’s premiere. He’s 24, and is described as a model/actor. Rumer’s stepdad, Ashton Kutcher, is 30, and is described as an actor/model. See the difference?

Poor Anna Faris. She’s the star of “House Bunny,” but Rumer and her famous family — all of whom dressed up and attended the premiere — stole the spotlight. The movie opens Friday, Aug. 22.

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Tila Tequila’s girlfriend in hot water

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Tila Tequila’s new gal pal Courtaney Semel was cited for battery after allegedly striking a Las Vegas hotel security guard — you don’t mess with Las Vegas hotel security guards, kid.

Semel, 28, daughter of former Yahoo! CEO Terry Semel and star of E!’s “Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive,” was not arrested, but she must pay a fine or face a judge.

A source says Semel, current girlfriend of Tequila, 26, was at Caesars Palace’s Pure Nightclub and left her cell phone on the property. When she went back to retrieve it, the club was closed. “She demanded that they find [the phone] and hit the security guard,” the source says. Nobody was really hurt, but let us repeat: Do not mess with Las Vegal hotel security guards.

Got it?

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He’s a PC. Not that there’s anything wrong with that

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Jerry Seinfeld’s gone Microsoft, signing on with the software giant and its $300 million advertising campaign. It’s all hush-hush, but Seinfeld is said to be one of the big-name celebrity hucksters, all for a measly $10 million check.

The new ads, according to unnamed “people familiar with the matter,” will spin something out of the slogan “Windows, Not Walls,” and will debut Sept. 4. It’s going to be huge, but let’s put it out there: Will it be able to compete with Mac’s Justin Long/John Hodgman ads? Doubt it.

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Jessica Simpson says Carrie’s a liar

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To recap:

Carrie Underwood says her ex-boyfriend Tony Romo still calls her, even though he’s hot and heavy with Ms. Jessica Simpson. Jessica Simpson says Carrie’s lying.

“I looked at his call log,” she said, apparently oblivious of the fact that there’s a little “delete” function that all duplicitious boyfriends know about — and, if they’re smart, use.

Of Underwood’s claim that Tony’s still calling, Jessica said, “Tony and I both laughed at that. We got a chuckle out of it.”

A laugh AND a chuckle! A two-fer, fer sher.

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Janet Jackson to launch lingerie line

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We thought for sure she’d be calling it “Wardrobe Malfunction,” but alas, humor and sexy underwear do not mix. In Janet’s case, lingerie is “a passion,” not a punchline.

The littlest Jackson is taking a page from Jennifer Lopez’s book with plans to launch a line of lingerie called Pleasure Principle — named after her 1987 hit — in November.

“People have come to me with other ideas, but lingerie is a passion for me, and just like music and acting, I can’t do it unless I put 100 percent into it,” Jackson said.

Jackson’s line will be heavy on satin, lace and “feminine details” (like room for your boobs?). She’s promising each piece for under $40, and you’ll find them in department stores and mass retailers (Walmart? Target? Kroger? CVS?).

“There’s something for every woman, and that’s very important to us,” Jackson said. “I’ve always hated when lingerie is uncomfortable, so the fit and comfort was key.”

Good for her. That sunburst nipple shield had to hurt.

Janet Jackson in photos

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Phelps’ Corn Flakes box revealed!

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What happened to Wheaties? We’re figuring it was a money issue, but maybe the Big Fish just likes the Battle Creek connection — he did go to Michigan.

Kellogg Co. nabbed Michael Phelps, snapping the streak General Mills (a Minnesota company) had for featuring stellar athletes on cereal boxes.

The 23-year-old swimming champ — Did you hear? He won eight gold medals at the 2008 Beijing Olympics!! (it’s been in the news) — will also appear on Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes, beginning in mid-September.

It’s the latest endorsement deal for the star, who could make $100 million over his lifetime. He already has gigs with PowerBar, Omega, AT&T Wireless, Visa and Speedo. Ooh, Speedo!

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Brody, Spencer still bromantically troubled

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Honestly, keeping track of the “relationships” swirling around the characters/real people from “The Hills” is harder than scoring a Cubs game …

The rekindled “bromance” (did you know they’d been fighting??) between Hills stars Brody Jenner and Spencer Pratt took a turn for the worse following the show’s season premiere party at Paradise Cove in Malibu Monday night, Aug. 18.

According to E! News, Pratt (he’s the blond one) approached new cast member and Lauren Conrad love interest Doug Reinhart, and began badmouthing poor Brody, Pratt’s former best friend. Read on for the report on what went down that fateful night.

“Spencer said he had no respect for Brody because he was always up Lauren’s ass,” the source told E!

After this classy exchange, Pratt and the rest of the cast headed for a celebratory dinner at Nobu. But things got worse when Jenner found out what Pratt had said.

“They almost brawled right there in Nobu,” says the source. “Spencer kept saying ‘I’m gonna choke him out.’”

What, no hair-pulling?

Luckily the squabble got under control and the guys managed to enjoy their dinners at separate tables. When it came time for the check, some MTV producers who were sitting with Pratt picked it up for everyone.

“(Brody) went over to Spencer’s table and thanked everyone for the dinner, then left,” says the source.

Yeah. These guys eat for free.

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Jessica Simpson shilling swill

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Anything for a buck, kids.

Jessica Simpson, 28, is the “new face” of Stampede Light Plus, a vitamin-packed beer (seriously) — she also gets a 15 percent stake in the Dallas-based brewery.

Here’s her statement: “As an entrepreneur, I am always looking for ways to diversify my portfolio with good ideas and good people.”

‘Nuff said.

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Jon Voight: Roseanne is “sick”

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While Brad and Angelina wisely stay silent about Roseanne Barr’s recent blog tirade, Jon Voight — also mentioned prominently in the post — is keeping the story in the news by striking back, and striking below the belt, after apparently doing a little research.

“We can never be surprised at what vile evil comes from the mouth of a confessed victim of child abuse at the hands of her own parents,” Voight said Tuesday, Aug. 19. “(Roseanne’s) parents responded to the accusation by going on the air and slating she is a psychopathic liar and her sister agreed.”

Voight continued, “Her defaming of our National Anthem in 1990 gave us insight into who she is and what she is capable of saying and doing.”

He added: “I can only pray that good people see her for what she is (sick of mind).”

Why does he know so much about Roseanne? If you’re not the parties involved, this is fun!

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PETA PO’d at Paltrow

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The PC police have Gwyneth Paltrow in their sights, having caught her red-handed (not that she was hiding) wearing a fur wrap in an ad for Tod’s (which makes leather accessories and shoes). What we learn, unfortunately, is that even PETA’s not above the easy pun when lashing out for the animals.

“Gwyneth Paltrow won’t be the apple of her daughter’s eye if she flaunts the skins of once-beautiful animals,” says a PETA spokesperson. “Promoting an industry that electrocutes animals, snaps their necks, and skins them alive is a shocking example to set for a young child.”

PETA claims to have sent letters to the actress, along with videos depicting animal cruelty, but have yet to receive a response, saying, “Apparently, Paltrow’s beauty really is only skin deep.”

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Chris Kattan, wife split after 2 months

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Not everybody’s into Mango.

After just eight weeks of marriage, Saturday Night Live alum Chris Kattan and his wife, model Sunshine Tutt, have split.

“Separated for the moment. No plans for divorce at this time,” according to his rep.

Kattan, 37, and Tutt, 31 — who began dating in 2005 — got married June 28 in Yosemite Valley, Calif..

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Phil Collins’ divorce bigger than the Beatle’s

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Phil Collins, that easy-rocking musician, is setting a record with Divorce No. 3: A reported $46.68 million settlement which, if the numbers are right, is the biggest payout in British legal history. Yeah - bigger than the Beatle’s. (Paul McCartney paid Heather Mills $45.37 million earlier this year, remember?)

Collins, 57, and Orianne Cevey, 35, were married for seven years before separating in 2006. They have two children together, sons Nicolas, 8, and Matthew, 4.

It isn’t the first time relationship woes have caused a dip in the Genesis frontman’s fortunes, with Britain’s Daily Telegraph even claiming that divorce settlements have eaten into as much as one-third of his estimated $280 million net worth, nearly $84 million going to his ex-wives. Su-su-sudio indeed.

After taking advantage of technological advances and infamously dumping wife No. 2, Jill Tavelman, by fax back in 1994, he was forced to pay $34 million.

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David Beckham, Superstar: The Musical?

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Honestly, this is beyond weird.

Some British scribe is working overtime, trying to turn David Beckham’s life story into a musical.

“His rise from obscurity to international stardom, his universally acknowledged gifts as a supreme sportsman, and his Hollywood lifestyle all have the elements of an aspirational fable,” librettist Mark Archer told the U.K.’s Daily Telegraph. Archer wants to call it “David Beckham: The Theatre of Dreams,” and stage it in London’s West End.

It would feature “powerful, gospel-like rock,” Archer said. And, of course, Beckham’s wife Victoria would make an appearance. Sample lyrics (sung in a squeaky voiced, thick accent while practicing headers):

“A change has come around, as I worship this ground, with you in my life, we’re turning the world upside down!”

This idea makes us crave another round of “Cats.”

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Christina Applegate now cancer-free

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Christina Applegate is cancer-free after choosing to have both of her breasts removed after one was found to contain cancerous lumps.

“I didn’t want to go back to the doctors every four months for testing and squishing and everything,” she told Good Morning America in an interview that aired this morning, Aug. 19.

“I just wanted to kind of get rid of this whole thing for me,” she said of the prophylactic double mastectomy. “This was the choice that I made and it was a tough one. My decision, after looking at all the treatment plans that were possibilities for me, the only one that seemed the most logical and the one that was going to work for me was to have a bilateral mastectomy,” she explained.

Applegate, the 36-year-old star of “Samantha Who?” is now “absolutely 100 percent clear and clean” of cancer and planning reconstructive surgery over the next eight months.

“I’m going to have cute boobs ‘til I’m 90, so there’s that,” she joked. “I’ll have the best boobs in the nursing home. I’ll be the envy of all the ladies around the bridge table.”

Still, she said, “Sometimes, you know, I cry. And sometimes I scream. And I get really angry. And I get really upset, you know, into wallowing in self-pity sometimes. And I think that it’s all part of the healing.”

Applegate said she gained insight into the disease from her mom, Nancy Priddy, a repeat breast cancer survivor.

“She’s been sort of this quiet warrior in the back and has been a great support, and just telling me that I was going to be OK,” she said. “And I knew I was going to be OK. I’ve watched her.

“I’ve watched her have a mastectomy, and then I’ve watched her go through two years of chemotherapy and eight surgeries and a hysterectomy,” Applegate added. “I’ve watched this woman survive both those things. So, for me, there was always that sense that I was going to be OK, no matter what.”

The actress’ cancer was discovered earlier this year during a follow-up exam.

“If this had been caught a year from now, or when I was 40, I probably wouldn’t be able to live through this,” Applegate said.

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Avril Lavigne too sexy for Malaysia. No joke.

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Avril’s been called a lot of things, but too sexy? Maybe not around here, but in Malaysia, a planned concert has a hard-line Islamic opposition party all upset. The Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party’s youth wing is asking the government to cancel Lavigne’s upcoming concert, calling her stage act way “too sexy” for local tastes. The show is scheduled for Aug. 29 in Kuala Lumpur.

“It is considered too sexy for us … it’s not good for viewers in Malaysia,” a party official said. “We don’t want our people, our teenagers, influenced by their performance. We want clean artists, artists that are good role models.”

No word yet on any decision.

Officials have yet to approve the application submitted last week by the promoter, Galaxy Group, seeking a permit on behalf of the Canadian pop-punkster. However, a committee will supposedly take up the issue during a meeting on Tuesday, Aug. 20.

Still, organizers claim Galaxy has received “very positive” reaction from the Ministry so far.

A rep for the group expressed certainty that its request would go through, noting that the 23-year-old Lavigne’s act does not contain any “negative elements” that would offend the sensibilities of local concertgoers.

A largely conservative society where Islam is the official religion, Malaysia has a strict policy when it comes to maintaining traditional values, banning performers from exhibiting “obscene” behavior on stage—defined by government officials as define jumping, shouting, hugging and kissing or displaying any sexual imagery or drug references.

Additionally, artists are now allowed to wear anything revealing and must cover themselves from the chest to the knees in line with conservative Muslim edicts.

There was no immediate comment from Lavigne’s camp.

A number of notable Western entertainers have run into trouble performing in Malaysia Beyonce axed a date in the country and instead booked a show in Indonesia rather than try to adhere to the country’s stringent standards.

Christina Aguilera avoided the country altogether during a trek through the region last year, while Gwen Stefani decided to forego the belly-button ring and her usual stripped-down fashion statement to placate the powers that be.

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Fishburne confirmed for CSI role

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More than a month after the rumors began, CBS has confirmed that Oscar-nominated Laurence Fishburne will be joining CSI as William Petersen’s replacement. As if that’s possible.

Says CBS: “Fishburne will play a former pathologist who is now working as an itinerant college lecturer, teaching a course in criminalistics. His focus is on understanding criminal behavior, how and why people commit acts of violence — tendencies he disturbingly sees within himself.” (Paging Dr. Jekyll? Texting Mr. Hyde?) “In the course of a murder investigation, he comes into contact with the CSI team and ultimately joins the Las Vegas Crime Lab as a Level-1 CSI.”

According to CSI exec producers, Fishburne was the No. 1 pick for the Level-1 job. (Petersen’s Grissom was, like, a Level-Million, because he was a perfect sexy genius.)

“CBS asked us, ‘Who’s at the top of your dream list? Without hesitation, we said Laurence Fishburne. He is a powerful and intense actor, with an incredible range … If you distill CSI down to its essence, it’s a collaboration — and we are so looking forward to collaborating with Mr. Fishburne. For all of us at CSI, this is truly a dream.”

(It would have been funny if they’d said, “First choice? Robert Downey Jr. Then maybe Aaron Eckhart. Then Cloris Leachman. But we’re OK with Larry.”)

“I am elated and delighted to be joining the cast of CSI,” said Fishburne. “I look forward to a wonderful collaboration with the creative and talented team of such a successful and distinguished show.”

Sounds like everybody’s happy happy happy, and we can’t help but be happy for them. Fishburne will debut in this season’s ninth episode, right around the time Petersen departs.

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Roseanne blogs venom at Brangelina

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We know you probably haven’t visited Roseanne’s blog lately, so we’re here to catch you up. Scrolling past the entry about her infected cuticle, the comedienne goes off on Brad and Angelina. It’s in a post titled “Jon Voight.” Gird your loins, folks, this is nasty stuff.

A highlight: “Your evil spawn Angelina Jolie and her vacuous hubby Brad Pitt make about $40 million a year in violent, psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children, trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more,” Roseanne writes.

She signs off her post: “Now go back to making your movies about women who love to handle big guns that shoot hundreds of people to death.”

For the entire rant, keep reading.

jon voight is a frightened little girl in a pink ballet tutu, who acts like Obama just wandered in from the rain forest with a bone thru his nose and a communist pamphlet in his loincloth. The neocons who own jon voight and make him dance on the chabad telethons are the worst most elitist people on earth. glen beck and jon voight are their bitches… both of them are used tampons who must be flushed down the toilet immediately! jon voight your evil spawn angelina jolie and her vacuous hubby brad pitt make about forty million dollars a year in violent psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more. (just sayin’). Also miss jolie says she likes mccain too and hasn’t decided who to endorse….huh? Aren’t you supposed to be somewhat enlightened, or do you not know that the african daughter you hold in every picture had parents who suffered and died because of the republican party’s worldwide economic assault on africa over the last few decades since reagan? whaaaa…??????!!!! (for that matter, the thai and vietnamese sons you are photo’d with weekly too!!!? who’s pictures you sell to raise money to help the poor? Their families are victims of America’s right wing military incursions too. Mccain wants to continue with the idea of war for profit…the americans are over that thinking now! They have drugged our troops and lower classes into supporting their oil business atrocities for long enough. We want to save not lose our souls thank you. Now go back to making your movies about women who love to handle big guns that shoot hundreds of people to death. Ps….it might be good for your asian and african children’s self esteem to know you support a brown man for the leader of the free world.)

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Jared Leto’s band sued for $30 million

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Jared Leto’s semi-popular band, 30 Seconds to Mars, is in trouble — Virgin Records has sued the group for $30 million, saying it has failed to deliver three albums contracted for. The band’s last album, “A Beautiful Lie,” came out in 2005.

The last time the band was in the news was in 2007, when Billboard called “From Yesterday” one of 2007’s top ten “hot modern rock songs.”

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Ellen, Portia tie the knot

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Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi wed at their home in Beverly Hills, California, Saturday night. Aug. 16.

De Rossi, 35, wore a backless, light pink dress, and her hair in a loose updo. DeGeneres, 50, dressed in pants, button-up shirt and vest — all in white.

Before the intimate ceremony attended by about 20 guests, “Ellen and Portia came out and posed for pictures with Ellen’s mom and their two dogs,” a witness said. “They were hugging and kissing, and looked ecstatic. Ellen was helping Portia with the train of her dress, which looked like a Cinderella tutu.”

The pair, who “were both laughing,” walked “all over the lawn together holding hands and posing. The whole afternoon seemed light-hearted.”

De Rossi has credited DeGeneres with helping her come out of the closet. “My feelings for Ellen overrode all of my fear about being out as a lesbian,” she told the Advocate in September 2005.

De Rossi said the first time she spotted DeGeneres, the comedian took her breath away.

“That had never happened to me in my life, where I saw somebody and [experienced] all of those things you hear about in songs and read about in poetry. My knees were weak,” de Rossi said.

In 2005, DeGeneres said she hoped she and de Rossi would be “together the rest of our lives.”

“I never would have thought my life would have turned out this way,” DeGeneres told Allure. “To have money. Or to have a gorgeous girlfriend. I just feel so lucky with everything in my life right now.”

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Lindsay Lohan converting to Judaism

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“As long as she believes in God,” says her father, Michael Lohan, a born-again Christian — who raised Lindsay as a Catholic until he and her mother divorced and he went to jail and mom got a reality show and Lindsay forgot her underwear that day and etc. etc.

Lindsay told folks she decided to convert after learning about the Jewish religion from her girlfriend, Samantha Ronson. The Ronsons are Jewish and are said to be supportive of just about everything.

Still, Mike, font of all fatherly wisdom, is skeptical.

“She’s exploring right now,” he says. “She’s explored the Church of Scientology, she tried Kabbalah, and now this. I think it’s just another phase. But either way, she’s involving God in her life, and I’m happy about that.”

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The NAKED truth about “Harry Potter”

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By now, everybody knows that Warner Bros, in its infinite wisdom, is moving Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, from Nov. 21, 2008, to July 17, 2009. The reason? Officially, there is no reason, except that “a spot opened on the summer schedule.” At first, we thought maybe it was an early birthday present to Harry (born July 31), but then we remembered he’s not real. Then we thought maybe Warner Bros. was out to spoil our Christmas, but then we remembered they don’t care about us.

The honest truth? In November, Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe will be right in the middle of his sensational run on Broadway in the play Equus. Radcliffe appears naked on stage, and has sex in it too! Hardly the Harry Potter Warner signed up for.

Posters for Equus are already up all over New York, and they’re bizarre, brilliant, compelling, and honestly, the kind of thing you might see at Hogwarts if Hagrid’s having an off day (see the poster after the jump). If Half-Blood Prince opened in November, chances are the attendant media circus would be more focused on Harry’s, er, wand, than how Hermoine and Ron are doing.

Apparently the Warner boys don’t subscribe to the saying, “Any publicity is good publicity.” We do! Go Harry! You too, Dan!

Yikes.

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“Office” actor faces meth charges

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Prosecutors have filed felony drug charges against Craig Phillip Robinson, an actor best known for his role as Darryl Philbin on NBC’s The Office — he works in the warehouse.

Police in Culver City arrested Robinson, 36, on June 29 on suspicion of possessing ecstasy and meth. He was released the same day after posting bail. Los Angeles County prosecutors charged Robinson with two felony counts of drug possession and one count of being under the influence of illegal drugs.

He’ll be in court again August 21.

Aw, Darryl. Who’s going to keep Michael in line now?

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Kim Kardashian: My butt’s too big

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Hot on the heels of Ali Lohan’s breast implant rumors, Kim Kardashian’s going the opposite direction. She is so OVER her big butt.

“I love that I’m curvy, but I’m on this major kick to try and lose weight, especially in my butt,” she tells Radar magazine. “I’m just so over it! When you’re posing on the red carpet and the paparazzi shout, ‘Turn around! Turn around!’ — it gets a little offensive.” Why does she keep turning around, then?

Kardashian, 27, denies rumors that she’s had butt implants.

“I’ve seen magazines where plastic surgeons are saying, ‘If you want a butt like this it has to be fake,’” she says. “I’m just like, ‘Dude, have you ever seen an Armenian girl before?’”

Continue reading for some other kewt Kardashian kwotes about O.J., alcohol, and Paris Hilton from the Radar piece.

Radar: Your childhood friend Paris Hilton said that your butt “reminds [her] of cottage cheese inside a big trash bag.”

Kim: That’s so nasty! Wasn’t that nasty? She called and apologized, and I accepted her apology. She said she was joking. I kind of laugh it off, like, “You know, I’ve never denied having cellulite.” Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. If she thinks my butt looks like that, I don’t really care. At least I have a butt.

Q: Why don’t you drink?

A: I’ve always hated the taste. If there was a drink that I liked I would probably drink all the time. But it’s disgusting to me. I’m a lot more boring than people think. I have a boyfriend (New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush), and date nights are bowling and cooking. Like, last night I made tacos. I already did all my craziness, so there’s really none left. (Editor’s note: Try my Appletini, Kim.)

Q: Your biological father, Robert Kardashian, was O.J. Simpson’s lawyer!

A: My dad and O.J. were best friends since college. My mom was buddies with Nicole, and we all went on a family vacation with her a week before she was murdered. So the relationship was really way more intimate than people think. To me they were Uncle O.J. and Nicole. When we kids were at my dad’s house we were pro-O.J., and at my mom’s house we were anti-O.J. So it was definitely a lot harder than just my dad being his attorney.

Q: Do you think O.J. was guilty?

A: This has caused a lot of turmoil for my family, so some things are best left unsaid. I remember going to the trial with (my older sister) Kourtney, and we would sit near my dad and look over and see my mom and Bruce (stepdad Bruce Jenner) sitting next to the Brown family.

At the time we felt like we had to take sides, and we chose my dad’s. Mostly because my mom was newly married to Bruce.

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Ellen, Portia to wed this weekend

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And you’re not invited.

Ellen DeGeneres, 50, and Portia de Rossi, 35, will wed this weekend in California, according to US Weekly. The pair are planning a small, intimate ceremony with only a few close friends and family.

Following the California Supreme Court’s monumental ruling that same sex couple’s have the “right to marry,” DeGeneres announced she planned to wed her longtime girlfriend on a taping of her show in May.

“It’s something that we’ve wanted to do and we want it to be legal and we are very, very excited,” DeGeneres said.

DeGeneres reflected on their upcoming nuptials at the Daytime Emmy Awards in Hollywood in June.

“I think someday people will look back on this like women not having the right to vote and segregation and anything else that seems ridiculous that we don’t all have the same rights,” DeGeneres said. DeGeneres and de Rossi began dating in December 2004.

“I feel like I found my perfect fit,” DeGeneres said of de Rossi in an interview with the Advocate. “She’s taught me lessons about myself, and I feel like I’ve taught her,” DeGeneres added.

Ain’t true love boring?

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Donald Trump does awkward, nice thing

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Yes, this is news.

Donald Trump plans to save Ed McMahon’s Beverly Hills mansion from foreclosure by buying it for an undisclosed amount and leasing it to McMahon. Uh oh, that means there will be rent to pay, so — as they used to say on television — stay tuned.

Trump said he doesn’t know McMahon personally, but acted out of compassion because helping out “would be an honor.”

McMahon, 85, defaulted on $4.8 million in mortgage loans with Countrywide Financial Corp. McMahon’s spokesman said paperwork on the sale had not been completed but that McMahon was “very optimistic” the deal would go through.

“When I was at the Wharton School of Business I’d watch him every night,” Trump said. “How could this happen?” We’re guessing bad money management, Don, paired with bad luck and greedy lenders. Check out Ohio’s foreclosure rates!

McMahon bought the six-bedroom, five-bathroom, 7,000-square-foot house in January 1990. The home was listed at $4.6 million last weekend — down from a peak price of $7 million.

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Police won’t charge Christian Bale

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Christian Bale will not be charged over claims of assault following a July 21 London disagreement with his mother and sister.

Prosecutors at England’s Crown Prosecution Service determined it is not in the public interest nor is there sufficient evidence to gain a conviction.

The Dark Knight actor, 34, is expected to receive a “caution” after his arrest last month for an alleged minor assault — in England assault can be an implied threat — after an incident with his mother Jenny and sister Sharon.

The CPS released a statement about the case:

Dorchester Hotel Incident “We can today confirm that we have advised the Metropolitan Police Service that the actor Christian Bale should not face any charges following an incident which occurred in relation to his mother and sister at the Dorchester hotel on 21 July this year,” the CPS said. “Whilst the CPS treats all incidents which take place in a domestic context seriously, it is important that the views of complainants are also taken into account when making decisions in such cases.” “Taking all the factors into consideration, the decision has been taken that there is insufficient evidence to afford a realistic prospect of conviction, and accordingly the police have been advised that no further action should be taken against Mr. Bale.”

Gotta love a police statement that uses the word “whilst,” and smart of them too. He’s Batman.

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LiLo says Ali’s boobs are real!!

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Lindsay Lohan went into full big-sister-tiger mode, taking to the streets — in this case, the Web — on behalf of her 14-year-old sister, Ali. That’s Ali pictured, in what’s purported to be a before-and-after.

On her blog Thursday, Aug. 13, LiLo, 22, tried to quash all the speculation swirling about her sister’s figure and a breast augmentation rumor. Some pap even cornered Linds, asking, “What do you have to say about people commenting on your sister’s implants?”

“It made me feel a bit sick to my stomach,” Lindsay wrote on her MySpace Celebrity Blog. She also tried to court the plastic crowd, saying she’s “not judging” people who do have cosmetic surgery.

“But all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given,” she wrote. “Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14-year-old child to alter her body.”

She also wrote: “It is hard enough being 14 years old and you have enough insecurities to begin with, then add being in the public eye … ”

Has she seen “Living Lohan”?????? For the entire MySpace rant, follow the jump.

Lindsay Lohan’s Aug. 13 MySpace entry:

just had to share something that came up today and it made me feel a bit sick to my stomach. so, here’s the visual… me and my friend Patrick walking into a store, and two paparazzi come up out of nowhere (like usual) and start throwing questions at me… one of them being, “Hey Lindsay, what do you have to say about people commenting on your sisters implants?” WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my response simply was, “Did you really just ask me that? She is a 14 year old girl, and you are a pedophile!” i was caught out of nowhere so i didn’t really come up with the proper response at the time.. there’s many other things that i felt like saying, but why give it to a random guy with a camera so that he can make money! All i am trying to say is, is that, i was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me, of course we have our ups and downs, but all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body. i am not judging people that do, but i am just saying that its not something that my family finds necessary to do, especially when you’re not even fully developed yet! It is hard enough being 14 years old and you have enough insecurities to begin with, then add being in the public eye… i just find it really disconcerting that people have to focus on the negative and that some people are sooooo bored with their own lives that they need to manifest lies to hurt another person. in a more positive light… i got some great clothes from alexander wang and i miss samantha cuz she’s out of town :( have a wonderful day everyone~ til next time..

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John Mayer, Jennifer Aniston break up

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Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer have called it quits, People reports.

“They had a great time together but they are just in different places in their lives right now,” says a source of Aniston, 39, and Mayer, 30, who started dating in April.

A friend of Mayer adds that a reconciliation isn’t necessarily out of the question: “He never ends things with a clean slate. He likes to dwell on these relationships and sort everything out before saying goodbye for good.”

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ANTM taps transgendered contestant

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Us Weekly is reporting that one of the 14 women on next season’s America’s Next Top Model (it’s Cycle 11, believe it or not, starting on The CW Sept. 3) is transgender. There’s also a woman named Clark, but that’s another story.

“My cards were dealt differently,” Isis, a 22-year-old former receptionist, said.

She’s from Prince George’s County, Maryland, and identifies herself as “a woman born physically male.”

The inclusion of Isis is being hailed by GLAAD president Neil Giuliano as “an unprecedented opportunity for a community that is underrepresented on television. We applaud Tyra Banks and The CW for making this historic visibility of transgender people possible.” Applause — that’s what Tyra lives for!

Frankly, we think it’s in response to all the under-the-breath comments about Cycle 10’s Dominique.

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Paris: A good pledge, she’s not

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Paris Hilton is in trouble for supposedly not doing enough … (pause for laughter) … to make National Lampoon’s Pledge This! a blockbuster.

The film’s distributor, Worldwide Entertainment Group, sued the heiress for breach of contract, charging that she didn’t do her part in promoting the 2006 “movie” — after they paid her $1 million! Doubt if she balances her checkbook often enough to have noticed the deposit. Plus, promoting movies is a lot like a job, and who’s got time for that?

Hilton starred the movie as sorority queen Victoria English. But, Paris — who was also listed as an executive producer — owes $75,000 in damages for failing to provide “reasonable promotion and publicity” for the movie, according to the lawsuit.

Miss Pledge This! in theaters? It went straight to DVD, no surprise. If you’re thinking, like we were, “Maybe poor Paris was in jail when she was supposed to be out chatting up the media, ever think of that?” Consider this: The movie came out in December 2006; she reported for hard time in June 2007. Save your tears.

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Dane Cook hates his face

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Dane Cook is displeased. The new poster for his upcoming film My Best Friend’s Girl, sent him screaming to MySpace, where he went seriously off on, well, his face. The film is out in September.

Here goes, courtesy of Dane:

Before the downpour let me just say that my new movie, “My Best Friends Girl,” is the best / funniest film I’ve done yet. It’s got a terrific cast. Kate Hudson, Alec Baldwin, Jason Biggs, and myself really kicked the funny around. This movie showcases our talents accordingly as it expands on them. It’s a fun R-rated flick. An edgy comedy with a dash of romance.

That being said, let me address the fact that although I’m not a marketing major, I have a bit of a trusted reputation after 18 years self promoting. I’d like to inform you I had no say in this marketing campaign, but if I did, things would be different since it is obvious that this poster is boring / odd and has zero to do with the movie I performed in.

That being said, let me address the fact that although I’m not a marketing major, I have a bit of a trusted reputation after 18 years self promoting. I’d like to inform you I had no say in this marketing campaign, but if I did, things would be different since it is obvious that this poster is boring / odd and has zero to do with the movie I performed in.

Here are a few things that truly blow about my upcoming movie poster to promote the release of the film opening on September 19th:

  1. Graphics: Whoever photoshopped our poster must have done so at taser point with 3 minutes to fulfill their hostage takers’ deranged obligations. They should have called Donnie Hoyle and had him give a tutorial using “You Suck at Photoshop” templates. This is so glossy it makes Entertainment Weekly look wooden.

  2. My head: The left side of my face seems to be melting off of my skull. I guess I am looking directly into the Ark of the Covenant? Are they going for the bells palsy thing here? My left side looks like Brittany Spears’ vagina.

  3. The Stare. My character apparently has fallen in love with a strand of Kate Hudsons hair. Kate’s mannequin is desperately in love with the inside of my right ear while Jason is half stunned, half corsage.

  4. Lips: It looks like I’m wearing Maybelline Water Shine Diamonds Liquid Lipstick. My characters name is now Winter Solstice and I’m a hooker with a heart of gold. Jason is my floral carrying pimp, while Kate is my first trick!

  5. Fashion: My character is sporting a very high collar I mean damn they should be snow capped at that altitude. It’s going for the vampire lurking in the castle basement vibe. An Olympic pole vaulter would have a tough go clearing that collar. I’m also able to turn my head comfortably 180 degrees, because I was raised in an abandoned barn by a family of owls.

If you’ve seen the movie trailer (below), you know that this flick needs all the help it can get. The spoiled brat’s tirade is the funniest thing about it — I think I noticed one joke in there that’s not been done a dozen times before. And better.

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Jonas bro weighs in on Miley/Selena feud

What better way to make your opinion known than by wearing it on your chest?

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As previously mentioned here and here, Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez have some issues. OK — one issue: Nick Jonas.

It was Nick’s big brother Kevin who made the “statement,” wearing a “Team Demi and Selena” T-shirt as the broband left their hotel Sunday in New York City. (Demi is Selena’s partner in YouTubing.)

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Vanessa Hudgens sued for $5 mil

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A music producer has sued Vanessa Hudgens for $5 million, claiming the actress — let’s call her Hudge — and her dad haven’t paid him his share of her earnings. Yes, it’s the same Vanessa Hudgens scheduled to perform at Fifth Third Field with Corbin Bleu on Aug. 26.

Hudge, one of the stars of Disney’s successful “High School Musical” series, was a minor when she signed with Johnny Vieira, who says in the lawsuit (filed in L.A.) that the the Hudgens sued to void the agreement but failed to live up to the settlement. Apparently this all took place before Hudge landed “High School Musical,” ready with its third installment later this year. Hudge also has released a couple of solo albums. She’s now 19. (Love calling her Hudge!)

Vieira is also suing dad Greg Hudgens for defamation, claiming he sent an e-mail to others calling Vieira a “predator.”

Hudgens was sued last year by a lawyer who claimed she owed him $150,000; that case was settled in January. It’s so true that anybody can sue anybody, but twice? Give us a third lawsuit, and we’ll call it a trend.

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Angelina may replace Cruise in action flick

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Variety is reporting that Angelina Jolie — you may recall her role in the birth of Brad Pitt’s latest babies — is taking over a part everybody expected to be played by Tom Cruise. It’s a spy thriller (yay! another spy thriller!) called Edwin A. Salt.

Here’s the amazingly original-sounding plot in a nutshell: The title character is a CIA officer who’s accused by a defector of being a Russian sleeper spy and must elude capture long enough to establish her innocence.

Edwin A. Salt will undergo a title change, and if everything falls into place, the film shapes up as a return vehicle for Jolie. Another candidate for her return is the Lionsgate drama Atlas Shrugged, adapted from the Ayn Rand novel. She’d make a great John Galt.

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Britney’s VMA promo spots

Remember? We told you about this. Here’s a couple of examples …

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Britney’s mom’s book cover revealed

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The title of Lynne Spears’ new memoir, Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World, is loose in the world, released by its publisher, Thomas Nelson (specialist in inspirational tomes and Bibles).

It’ll cost you $24.99 upon release, Sept. 16.

Here’s what a self-explanatory Web site, www.christianbook.com, has to say:

“Lynne was just an ordinary Southern mom when the overnight success of her daughter Britney shoved the Spears family into the blinding limelight glare.

Through the Storm takes readers beyond the reach of the paparazzi and outside the narrow orbit of the Hollywood glitterati to share the inside story of the Spears family — as only a mother can tell it.

“In this openhearted memoir, Lynne speaks about Britney, Jamie Lynn, Bryan, ex-husband Jamie, herself, and their lives together from Louisiana to Los Angeles, including:

— Lynne’s backseat role in Britney’s path to fame and how it forever changed their family

— Her regret in abdicating parental authority to managers, agents, and record companies

— The challenges that shaped Lynne and Jamie’s marriage and how that affected Bryan, Britney, and Jamie Lynn (there’s a Bryan? Where, locked in a closet)

— Her response to Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy

— The startling events that led to Britney’s meltdown and Lynne’s showdown with manager Sam Lufti

— How faith, family, and friendships have been her harbor in the storm of paparazzi, tabloid scribblers, and gossip hounds

Can’t wait? Sure you can.

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Hayden Panettiere’s dad arrested

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OK, we know we’re not responsible for things our family members do, but shades of Michael Lohan!

“Heroes” star Hayden Panettiere’s father was arrested Monday morning, Aug. 11, on allegations of spousal abuse.

Alan Panettiere will face a felony count of domestic violence for allegedly hitting wife Lesley in the cheek.

Police were summoned to their West Hollywood home at 3:00 a.m. after the incident, which occurred after Hayden, 18, and her parents went to Eva Longoria’s restaurant, Beso, for a party.

Lesley reportedly refused to go to the hospital, against advice of paramedics, but cops took pictures of the bruise. The story is that the couple argued after Alan accused Lesley of “hanging” with someone and “disrespecting” him, according to TMZ.com.

Hayden — who’s dating co-star Milo Ventimiglia — has a warrant out for her arrest in Japan for obstruction of commerce after she attempted to block a pod of dolphins from being led into a nearby cove for massacre by fishermen.

Hayden also has a 13-year-old brother, Jensen.

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Richard Dreyfuss sues dad, uncle

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Money changes everything.

Richard Dreyfuss, 60, has sued his father and his uncle over an $870,000 loan dating back to 1984.

Dreyfuss says he gave his dad, Norman, and his uncle, Gilbert, the good faith loan to help them out of some kind of trouble that involved an office building in L.A.

Mr. Holland” is well within his rights if what he says is true, of course, but take this into consideration: Dreyfuss is playing Vice President Dick Cheney in Olver Stone’s upcoming “W.” Now the apparent nastiness makes more sense — it’s part of the process.

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Jerry Orbach’s son blasts stepmom

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Poor Lennie.

The son of beloved “Law & Order” actor Jerry Orbach, who died of cancer in 2004, has lashed out at his father’s widow, claiming in a vitriolic letter that she manipulated her husband into cutting his children out of his $10 million estate — and had his eyes “shucked out” on his deathbed.

Chris Orbach, 39, calls his stepmother, Elaine Cancilla-Orbach, “a double-dealing, lying, scheming, miserable fool” who, with the help of “cut-rate, borscht-belt” lawyers, has “painted (herself) as the beginning and the end of the Jerry Orbach Legacy” and can now “boast about ‘never flying coach,’ or ‘never riding the subway.’ “

All he has been left, Chris claims, are “two sweaters, a pool cue, a few CDs and a pocketknife from the estate of one of television’s best-known faces — a man who happened, incidentally, to be my father.”

Chris Orbach’s letter to his stepmother was supposed to be private. The New York Post obtained a copy from a source sympathetic to his story.

Orbach also attacks his stepmother for her decision to donate his father’s eyes to the Eye Bank Association of America. “Having to leave my father’s deathbed so that some guy with an ice box could shuck his eyes out while they were fresh still makes me sick and furious to this day,” he writes.

Even sardonic Lennie Briscoe would be hard-pressed to find a clever, pre-credit quip for this mess.

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Bernie Mac dies at 50

Here’s the complete Associated Press story, but the basic details are this:

Bernie Mac, 50, died Saturday, Aug. 9, in a Chicago-area hospital. Cause was said to complications from pneumonia.

Later that day, Mac’s wife’s sister gave a detailed interview to People about the comedian’s last days and hours in the hospital. Read it here.

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Thanks for the shout-out, Nick Lachey!

Two things worth noting in this ad: Nick’s reading the newspaper — we love that (even if it is the Cincinnati Enquirer) — and he acknowledges the city to the north of his hometown, in a sweet and self-depricating way. We like that.

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Brave Britney promotes VMAs

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A year after her humiliating performance at MTV’s Video Music Awards, Britney Spears — who, until recent years, seemed to have a pretty good sense of humor about herself — is back in the VMA spotlight, having filmed a promotional ad with this year’s host, brilliant English comedian Russell Brand (we’re fans).

“Britney looked really good,” says a source. “It was improvisational questions and answers with Russell Brand just like (other promo guest stars) LL Cool J and Pete Wentz did. Russell joked about there being sexual tension, and Britney shot back, ‘I don’t feel the tension’. The other joke was about no one knowing who Russell was so she called him by the wrong name. LL called him Russell Bland and Britney called him Russell Brown.”

The shoot also included a 9,000 pound elephant. Says the source, “The joke of the whole thing is ‘there is an elephant in the room’.”

Subtle, that.

Still, the network isn’t saying whether Spears will appear on the show airing on Sept. 7. Spears has been nominated 17 times, but has yet to win. She’s nominated for two this year — best female video and best pop video.

Here’s where to go for a peek at the promo spots.

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Sugarland founder sues the band

You can’t turn around with reading about Sugarland these days, how the singing duo is wonderful and talented and brilliant and cute and funny and very healthy and he’s married and she’s got a boyfriend and isn’t it amazing they work and travel together in such harmony blah blah blah. Admitting my ignorance on the issue, I found myself wondering, “Didn’t that used to be a three-piece band?”

Well, yeah.

Kristen Hall was the third piece of the Sugarland puzzle, founding the band with Jennifer Nettles and Kristian Bush back in 2002 — heck, the then-trio named the band after Hall’s Texas hometown. According to a lawsuit Hall filed in Atlanta last month, Bush and Nettles agreed to give her a cut of the profits even after she left. Now she wants her $1.5 million, claiming she’s been excluded since she left and — interestingly enough — since the band became everybody’s flavor of the day.

Sugarland’s latest album, “Love on the Inside,” is No. 1 on Billboard music charts.

Read the story right here, right now. If you want to.

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Clay Aiken becomes dad to baby boy

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Clay Aiken, former “American Idol” favorite, and music producer Jaymes Foster are the very proud parents of a baby boy born this morning, Aug. 8.

According to Aiken’s mom Faye, Foster — Aiken’s best friend and the sister of legendary music producer David Foster — gave birth to Parker Foster Aiken at 8:08 a.m. in North Carolina. He weighed 6 lbs. 2 oz. and was 19 inches long.

Foster and Aiken are not romantically linked in the traditional sense, and Aiken’s rep confirmed back in May that Foster was artificially inseminated. They do plan to raise Parker Foster together.

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Jewel marries her cowboy

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The singer and her longtime boyfriend, rodeo champion Ty Murray, eloped to the Bahamas and exchanged vows in a private ceremony Thursday, Aug. 7. People got the scoop.

“She wore a traditional wedding gown, while Ty wore his favorite blue jeans, white shirt and cowboy hat,” says Jewel’s rep. “The couple is very happy and look forward to enjoying their honeymoon.”

The pair has been together for ten years and share a 2,200-acre ranch in Stephenville, Texas. Murray, 38, stars in the video for his wife’s new country single, “I Do.” That might have been some kind of hint.

Last year, Jewel said she and Murray were in no hurry to tie the knot.

“We don’t know if there’s a point - we’ve lapped our friends who’ve gotten married and divorced,” she explained. “We probably would if we had kids — we’re just not sure we want them yet. But we’ve had something really special already.”

There’s an 8-second joke here somewhere. You figure it out.

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Miley gives us something to talk about

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First, read this.

Miley Cyrus is at long last coming way-too clean about her heart-breaking, two-year love affair with Nick Jonas.

The confessional will appear in its entirety in September’s Seventeen, but here are the highlights:

“We became boyfriend and girlfriend the day we met,” Cyrus said. “He was on a quest to meet me, and he was like, ‘I think you’re beautiful and I really like you.’ And I was like, ‘Oh, my gosh, I like you so much.’”

The teen stars, now both 15 (both turning 16 this fall), never went public with their relationship, but people had their suspicions.

“Nick and I loved each other,” Cyrus says now. “We still do, but we were in love with each other. For two years he was basically my 24/7. But it was really hard to keep it from people. We were arguing a lot, and it really wasn’t fun.”

After they broke up at the end of 2007, Cyrus said, “I just went into this weird funk. And I dyed my hair black. When we were dating, Nick wanted me to get highlights — and so I did that, and I got myself looking great. And then, on the day we broke up, I was like, I want to make my hair black now — I don’t want to look pretty; I want to look hard-core. I was rebelling against everything Nick wanted me to be. And then I was like, I’ve got to be by myself for now, and just figure out who I really am.”

Cyrus doesn’t rule out getting back together with Nick someday, though word is he’s now dating fellow Disney Channel star Selena Gomez, 16.

“Maybe he’ll be my best friend for the rest of my life or maybe I’ll end up marrying Nick Jonas!” Cyrus says. Sure, especially after he reads all this, Miley. Guys love it when you spill your guts.

Sounds doomed. Mom, keep your daughters away from Nick Jonas. That boy’s a player.

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Morgan Freeman’s OTHER big news

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After being involved in a serious accident Sunday night, then undergoing an operation to repair nerve damage in his left arm and hand on Monday, Morgan Freeman’s still making news: He and his wife of 24 years, Myrna Colley-Lee, are through.

Mississippi-based attorney Bill Luckett tells Access Hollywood the couple “are involved in a divorce action.” Luckett adds that “for legal and practical purposes, (Freeman and Colley-Lee) have been separated since December of 2007.”

Freeman has four children: Two from a previous marriage, two from previous relationships. He continues to recover in a Memphis hospital, and is expected to be released in a few days.

Freeman’s passenger the night of the crash, Demaris Meyer of Memphis, was also hurt but not as seriously as Freeman. She’s been described publicly as Freeman’s friend. That’s her in the near-right picture, courtesy of online paper The Post Chronicle out of St. Joseph, Mo. Freeman and his wife are far right.

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Clooney cruises with Cindy Crawford

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But it’s not what you think — her husband and her kids were along for the ride. And what a ride it was.

Clooney, Crawford, her husband Rande Gerber and their two kids, Presley, 8, and Kaia, 6, took in the perfection of the Mediterranean aboard a yacht named Silver. People reports that they did the same thing last year, but this year the gang hooked up with Bono, who lives somewhere on the French coastline. They also partied and barbecued and read the papers — who says print is dead?

Kind of like us on a houseboat on Lake Cumberland. Except different.

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Laurence Fishburne in CSI talks

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The Hollywood Reporter is reporting that super-secret talks are under way between Laurence Fishburne and CBS to take over William Petersen’s coveted night-shift duties on “CSI.”

Fishburne would theoretically be taking the place of Petersen (as if), but his character would not become Las Vegas’ head CSI — he’d be something of an outsider scientist-type who’s more of an equal to the rest of the gang — or at least the gang that’s left. (Miss you Gary! Miss you Jorja! But Billy P, we’ll miss you most of all!!!) Fishburne would begin his beat after Grissom solves his final crime on the 10th episode of the upcoming season.

Petersen would still make occasional appearances on the show, popping up as a rotting cadaver or slot-machine junkie in casino crowd scenes. That last part’s not true.

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Paris Hilton for President

The self-described (several times!) hottie finds herself surprised and pleased to be running for president — who’d have thought she had a sense of humor (or at least some decent writers). Courtesy of the folks at Funnyordie.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Below is the ad that got it all started, and here’s Kathy Hilton’s take on the whole thing, and let’s hope this is the last we’ll hear of this whole matter.

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Eva Mendes perfume ad CENSORED!

(OK, not censored exactly, but “restricted” doesn’t carry the same wham, does it?)

In the any-publicity-is-good publicity department, we have Eva Mendes’ new commercial for Calvin Klein’s Secret Obsession perfume, which has been deemed too sexy for prime time by American television networks.

The pronouncement, which CK made sure everybody heard about (and linked to), ensures repeated viewings wherever the ad can be found (like here, for example), and most likely, one of your other hundreds of channels available on cable.

It’s a little racy, so if you’re concerned, do what the networks recommend and wait until after 9 p.m. to watch. Some people might find it objectionable and/or offensive; others might wonder what the heck it has to do with perfume.

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Selena Gomez, Nick Jonas a couple?!?

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Selena Gomez and Nick Jonas aren’t exactly forthcoming about their budding romance, but they’re not exactly watching their mouths, either. According to that font of all trashy knowledge, Perezhilton.com, the couple — interviewed separately — came up with cutely similar descriptions of what sounds like the same first kiss.

“While we were slow dancing … my crush and I had our first kiss!” Selena, 16, told Twist magazine. “After it, I leaned back and I said, ‘You cheated.’ And he said, ‘Why’ and I said, ‘I don’t kiss on the first date.’ Then he said, ‘Well, I never really play by the rules.”

Selena is a Disney star, heiress-apparent to that aging crone, Miley Cyrus (kidding, but there IS tension).

Nick, who’ll be 16 in September, is one third of the popular Jonas Brothers band, duh. He shared with Girls Life magazine:

“On one date, the girl said to me, ‘I don’t kiss on the first date.’ So I said, ‘I don’t follow the rules.’”

Then, on his KIIS-FM show Tuesday, Ryan Seacrest got right to the point, asking Jonas if the two mega-stars were an item.

Nick (all coy-like): “Well, she’s an amazing girl, and anybody would be lucky to be dating her.”

Seacrest (all tough journalist-like) : “Well, are you?”

Nick (not backing down-like): “Well, like I said, anybody would be lucky to be dating her. I think she is a part of our music video, and that is why all the rumors started. But yeah, she’s a cool girl.”

It’s possible a publicist is behind this and it’s all pre-planned publicity, but still … Looks like they at least kissed! Frisky!

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Freeman doing well after surgery

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Good news in the aftermath of Morgan Freeman’s car accident:

Freeman is on the mend after a Sunday night car crash that resulted in his being airlifted to a hospital in Memphis.

“Morgan is doing well after his surgery last night to reconnect nerves and repair damage in his left arm and hand,” his spokesperson, Donna Lee, said Tuesday, Aug. 5. “The surgery last night lasted four and a half hours. He’s visiting with family this morning. As of this morning he’s up and walking around and looking forward to his release in a few days.”

Freeman, 71, was driving in Mississippi’s Tallahatchie County when the accident occurred. Extracted from the wreck by emergency crews using the jaws of life, the Dark Knight actor was said to be “in good spirits” Monday after he reached the Regional Medical Center at Memphis, where his surgery took place.

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Morgan Freeman hurt in car wreck

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Details are pouring in about Morgan Freeman’s Mississippi car wreck:

Freeman, 71, is in serious condition after the accident, which happened about 11:30 p.m. Sunday, Aug. 3. Freeman was behind the wheel of a car owned by his passenger, Demaris Meyer of Memphis, thought to be about 50. They were driving in Tallahatchie County when the car, a 1997 Nissan Maxima, went off the edge of Mississippi Highway 32 and overturned several times before coming to a stop. Police said there was no indication drugs or alcohol were involved, and both occupants were wearing seat belts.

Clay McFerrin, editor of Sun Sentinel in Charleston, said he arrived at the accident scene soon after it happened about 5 miles west of Charleston, not far from where Freeman owns a home with his wife.

“They had to use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle,” McFerrin said. “He was lucid, conscious. He was talking, joking with some of the rescue workers at one point.”

McFerrin said bystanders converged on the scene trying to get a glimpse of the actor. When one person tried to snap a photo with a cell phone camera, Freeman joked, “no freebies, no freebies,” McFerrin said.

Police called the accident “typical,” described the road as “rural,” and could not confirm rumors that Freeman had fallen asleep at the wheel, but did say that no charges are planned.

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Kathy Griffin turns down A-list gig

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Dancing with the Stars,” no less.

Griffin is on the record claiming she’s got a standing invite to appear on the show, but won’t do it because she ain’t got the music in her. More likely, it’s because the cameras for Bravo’s “My Life on the D-List” would have a hard time vying with the ABC’s big guns.

This is a woman who’ll do ANYTHING for publicity — that’s her, dropping trou at right — but apparently putting herself through DWTS’s strenuous regimen would be too much. Hard to believe, but there you are.

BTW - think “Dancing” is getting desperate? The show also asked Dan Quayle, who also passed. A man’s got to know his limitations.

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See the world’s most famous twins!

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You be the judge. Did People get its money’s (thought to be around $14 million, which Angie & Brad will donate to charity) worth?

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Christina Applegate has breast cancer

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It’s early stages, though, and not life-threatening thanks to a doctor-ordered MRI. Applegate, 36, who gained fame as the ditzy daughter in “Married With Children,” is currently starring in “Samantha Who” — she’s nominated for an Emmy — and will keep working while undergoing treatment. A full recovery is expected.

She’s also set to appear Sept. 5 alongside Meryl Streep, Jennifer Aniston, Scarlett Johansson, Charlize Theron and Sally Field at the Stand Up to Cancer telethon, which will be broadcast simultaneously on CBS, NBC and ABC. The Emmy awards are just a few weeks later.

Best wishes, Christina.

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Catfight in the Caribbean!

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Bianca was always difficult on “America’s Next Top Model,” but “Hairspray” star Nikki Blonsky seemed like such a nice girl.

Bianca, Blonsky and Blonsky’s father were arrested on assault charges on Wednesday, July 30, after a brawl involving Bianca’s family (her last name is Golden) in a Caribbean airport — a place where everyone should be happy happy, unless they’re coming home to Philadelphia.

According to the local weekly newspaper, Bianca, 19, her brother George, 17, and their mother Elaine Clinton-Golden were waiting for a flight to New York when they tried to take a seat in the departure lounge but found luggage on the chairs. When they moved the luggage, which belonged to the Blonskys, a brawl broke out.

Elaine was said to have been repeatedly kicked and punched all over her body. She was airlifted for treatment in Miami, Florida. “I am in pain all the way down my arms and legs,” Elaine told the the Turks and Caicos Weekly News. “I can hardly talk or walk and my head is hurting all over.” We’re waiting for YouTube evidence (did no one have a camera phone?), but this sounds bad.

Bianca and Blonsky made bail; Carl Blonsky did not.

Nikki was charged with assault with actual bodily harm, and showed up for court Friday in a neck brace. She’s due back in court Dec. 1. Her dad was charged with grevious bodily harm, meaning the victim was injured so severely they needed immediate medical care. The charge carries a five-year maximum sentence. Bianca Golden was charged with assault with actual bodily harm.

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Jolie-Pitt twins “unveiled” Sunday

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Can you wait? Seriously — set your alarm.

Vivienne Marcheline and Knox Leon will be revealed by People magazine, which won the national bidding war for the U.S. rights to the twins’ first photoshoot. Hello! magazine snagged the international exclusive.

How much did the magazines pay? No one’s saying, but the parental units assure the world that the fee - estimated between $11 million and $14 million — will go to charity.

The kids were born July 12 in Nice, France, making them your basic three-week-old babies, all of whom look pretty much the same as far as we’re concerned. The pictures will make their cover debuts on both People and Hello! on Monday, Aug. 4; People will post the cover shot online Sunday, Aug. 3, at 7 p.m. — yes, that’s Ohio time.

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