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Hall of Fame baseball writer Hal McCoy has retired from the Dayton Daily News after covering the Cincinnati Reds for 37 years. Hal's blog, though, will continue to be a must-read for Reds fans. He'll share his thoughts on the team this season and will file updates from Great American Ball Park. You also can catch Hal in print every Sunday in his popular Ask Hal columnHome > Blogs > The Real McCoy | Cincinnati Reds baseball news > Archives > 2009 > June > 23
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Votto’s return no help to punchless Reds
OLD NEWS: Reds lost, 7-5. Micah Owings can’t make it into the seventh again - hasn’t done it since May 12. The Reds lose for the third straight time and the eighth time in 10 games.
NEW NEWS: Joey Votto return, sporting some rust. But he had one of only three hits off Toronto starter Brian Tallet, who was pitching on only three days of rest and had a 4.86 ERA. Of course he held the Reds to no runs and three hits over six innings with one walk and seven strikeouts.
And Votto’s debut?
Votto admitted he was shaky early in the game, then settled in.
“The first few innings were a little tough, but from the fourth or fifth innings on I could be myself,” he said. “I could concentrate on what I could do to help the team. I hope today was one of the last days getting over the mental block. We’ll see.
“My swing felt good, but I missed some pitches,” he said. “I won’t say I’m rusty, but it’s a little different in front of a big-league pitcher instead of batting practice and A-ballers.”
Manager Dusty Baker was impressed.
“Joey swung the bat pretty good considering he hadn’t played in a while,” said Baker. “He is going to get better every day.”
When asked about the rust on Votto, Baker said, “Yeah, but he’s still better than most. And that rust won’t be there too long. He gives us more power, he is a run producer, an outstanding first baseman and he hits righthanders and left handers. And he is going to hit. He is going to hit a ton.”
The rest of the Reds hit about a pound-a-half.
BEFORE JOEY VOTTO started his tell-all chat with the media Tuesday, he looked squarely into the eyes of several Toronto writers and broadcasters and said, “Before we get started, I just want to let you guys know that I don’t want anybody talking to my family or friends or have anybody bothering them. I’d really, really appreciate it if you didn’t bother them. And if you do, then you’ll have to deal with me.”
WOW! MILD-MANNERED Joey laying the wood to the scribes and the mike guys. Then he began his long monologue on how his father’s death last August led to depression.
It was a heartfelt outpouring, Votto baring his scarred psyche to the prying media, who really had no business knowing his personal thoughts. But he gave them and he gave them well.
Now perhaps he can plays baseball and all the stupid, unfounded and made-up rumors can cease.
SOME MORE comments from Votto:
“The important people in my life, the close people in my life, have been taking care of me,” he said. “I hate to sound like a dramatic person, but these were serious things I was dealing with. To have somebody to talk to is really important.”
Votto came to Toronto from spring training this year to play for Canada in the World Baseball Classic and said, “It was such a breath of fresh air to be with my brothers and my family. I’m so by myself so much, I’m such a private person, I don’t have them with me much. I didn’t have a difficult time in Toronto at all. It was a great time.”
VOTTO IS READY to play full-time and as he said, “As long as I’m playing nine innings and contributing, I’ll be fine. There is nothing like health and I look forward to being healthy on a consistent basis.
“I played four games in the minors, two six-inning games and two nine-inning games,” he said. “I played two nine-inning games in Dayton. I know it’s low-A ball, but I was there in 2003-04 and it’s a pretty high-pressure thing - close to Cincinnati, lots of fans every game and high expectations. Getting through both those games and having a great time were good signs.”
Of his fight to get back, Votto added, “I was having such a difficult time getting through nights, as strange as it sounds. Once I felt like I could get through two or three nights of sleep without having the phone beside me to call the hospital, I felt I could play ball again.”
In early June, Votto called 911 at 3 or 4 a.m. for a trip to the hospital, “Because I really though I might die,” he said.
“It is difficult to talk to your family sometimes when they can remind you of what you’re feeling (his father’s death).”
SOME WONDERED if he was so stressed and so out of it, how could he hit .357 with eight homers and 33 RBIs when he did play.
“I think I’m a pretty good player, first of all,” he said. “I think baseball was my refuge. When I came on the field, I focused on that, did the best I could, then when I went home and was miserable. That was my routine every night.”
In summing it all up, Votto said with chin held high, “I’ve had a real struggle with my father’s passing. My biggest hesitation was coming out and letting people know. Especially my teammates. We’re supposed to be mentally tough and built to withstand all adversity. But this is real-life crap and I just couldn’t take it.”
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TweetVotto: It all relates to his father’s death
It was all about his father — nothing more, nothing less.
During an amazing 15 minutes of candid monologue, Joey Votto told the media today how he bottled up his feelings about his dad’s death last August: “Put it on the back burner and played baseball” is how he put it.
But it all come bursting out this season, to the point where Votto said he thought he might die on the field in Milwaukee and to the point where he couldn’t make it through the night by himself and dialed 911 to take him to the hospital.
Votto took a bereavement leave of absence after his father, Joseph, died at age 52 — “The guy who listened to every Reds game, the guy who taught me the game, the guy who played catch with me every day.”
After the bereavement, Votto came back to the Reds and he said today, “The first day back I put it all on the back burner and just played baseball from August all the way to the end of September. I don’t want to use the word suppress, because he was in my thoughts and I was dealing with it daily, but as powerful a moment as it was to lose your father when he was so young, nevertheless, I did suppress it.
“From the end of the season until the beginning of spring training, I was severely depressed, dealing with the anxieties of sadness and fear and every emotion anybody goes through. I had a really difficult time with it. I was by myself in Florida and when baseball started back up in February I did the same thing I did last August — threw all my emotions aside and just played baseball again.”
Then came the inner ear infection. No baseball. More time to think.
“Taking the time away from baseball and recovering from being sick was the first time all my emotions that I had been pushing to the side, that I had been struggling with in the winter, nailed me and hit me, a hundred times more than I had been dealing with in the off-season,” he said.
“I came out of three separate games,” he said. “The first one (in Arizona) was a combination of me being ill, but I could tell something was going on because I couldn’t recover. I had this feeling of anxiety in my chest.
“Then the second time I came out (in San Diego) and it was similar, but the third time was in Milwaukee and I was just totally overwhelmed. Doctors told me I was dealing with being depressed with anxiety and panic attacks.
“It was overwhelming me where I had to go to the hosiptial on two occasions, once in San Diego,” he said. “Nobody was told about it, but I went to the hospital when the team was on the road (Milwaukee-St. Louis) but it was a very, very scary and crazy night. I had to call 911 at 3 or 4 in the morning — probably the scariest moment I’ve ever dealt with in my life.
“The days I was taken off the field were miniature versions of what I was dealing with by myself. Ever since late May I have been struggling with this in my private life. I’d go on the field and try to play well, but I couldn’t do it any more because I was overwhelmed physically with the stuff I was dealing with off the field finally seeped its way onto the field and I finally just had to put an end to it. I really couldn’t go out there. I physically couldn’t do my job.”
Vott has seen some doctors and is confident he is ready to return to the field and be productive. Speaking to people and letting them know what I’ve been dealing with, how difficult this grieving process has been, has helped.
Votto talked the his Reds teammates last week and talked a couple of times with manager Dusty Baker in the last week.
“I’m the oldest of four brothers and I feel I’m the head of the family,” he said. “Maybe I have a proclivity for anxiety and depression, whatever it is, but I was dealt with some unusual circumstances — the combination of being a major-league ballplayer, a young ball player, and also dealing with my father and my family.”
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TweetVotto at first base, batting third
SO JOEY VOTTO is back. Not only is he back, he IS in tonight’s lineup, playing his normal first base and batting in his normal third spot in the order.
He is holding a press conference at 4 o’clock in the Reds dugout and because he is a Toronto native and resident it is expected to be a crowded dugout with local TV. It is doubtful he’ll talk about his stress-related issues.
We’ll see.
AIR CANADA HAS three non-stop flights a day from Dayton to Toronto and the aircraft looks two steps above the Wright Flyer — two prop-driven engines and seats for 18.
There were six on my flight Tuesday morning, plenty of room to spread out if there was room to spread out.
The flight was great, until we landed at Pearson International Airport and our crop-duster taxied for half a day before stopping behind some gasoline storage tanks at the far side of the airport. I kid you not — Gate 238. We boarded a bus for the ride to the main terminal and customs. Fortunately, nobody was in customs and I whisked through it.
Not a bad day’s travel — and zero surcharges for luggage from Air Canada. And my luggage made it.
You laugh about that, since there were only six passengers?
ONCE UPON a time I flew a commuter airline called Air South from Atlanta to Bowling Green, Ky. I knew I was in trouble — twice. First I saw the pilot kicking the tires. Then he walked up to me and asked, “Are you my passenger?”
I was. The ONLY passenger. And they lost my golf clubs. I wrote a story about it for the paper, citing the loss of my golf clubs despite being the only passenger. My clubs caught up with me a week later and shortly after that I received an irate letter from the airline’s president, offering to play a round of golf with me, winner gets to keep the other’s golf clubs.
I declined by saying, “You’ve already had my golf clubs long enough.”
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