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Will you see G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra?
Much has been made of the fact that Paramount has decided not to screen G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra for critics. Indeed, it may be the highest-profile Hollywood movie ever not to be given such previews.
So what’s my reaction, as a critic? G.I. Could Care Less.
Long before the decision was made not to show the movie to us, I had little to no interest in seeing it. I knew the movie Julie & Julia was also coming out that same weekend, and I am far more invested in that, both as a movie and as a subject for you, my readers.
I’m not naive enough to believe that anything I write is going to affect most people’s anticipation of G.I. Joe. Or Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Or The Dark Knight. Or Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Or whatever Harry Potter movie is out any given year.
However, I would point out that my reviews of those blockbusters are very often my most clicked-on and commented-upon posts. Just look at my reviews for Transformers: ROTF or Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Maybe I’ll never have much effect on the box office of these movies, but for whatever reasons, people are reading what I write and responding to what I write. That’s what’s most important to me, and I thank those of you who participate by reading and/or commenting.
Still, given the choice, I would much rather review a film I can turn people on to, that they might otherwise skip, like Julie & Julia or 500 Days of Summer. Hearing someone say “That movie was really good, thank you for letting me know about it” is the greatest compliment a critic can get. You can read my review of Julie & Julia Friday in this space.
As for G.I. Joe, even if it were screened for critics, I would not be looking forward to it. I’m neither here nor there on most people in the cast, but the director is Stephen Sommers, whose movies are wildly uneven. Sometimes they’re turn-your-brain-off fun, like the 1998 The Mummy. Sometimes they’re bloated mediocrities, like The Mummy Returns. And sometimes they’re absolutely god-awful, like Van Helsing. That monstrosity felt like going on a ride at Universal Studios for 573 times straight, without ever getting back in line.
So when word was going around that G.I. Joe was so bad that Sommers was fired from the project (a contention the studio denied), that only made the movie smell all the worse. In fairness to the film, its Rotten Tomatoes score is 75 percent positive (based on only 16 reviews, it must be noted), and the first “pro” review I’ve read, from Variety, is more resigned than scathing.
Regardless, I have no plans to see it, in theaters or on DVD. If anyone feels I made a mistake, they are more than free to tell me so.
But enough about me - what about you? Do you want to see G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra? Even if it is from the guy who made Van Helsing? Like Transformers, Joe is based on a franchise that was popular in the 80s, with its “Yo, Joe!” and “Co-braaaaah!” catchphrases. Even so, I don’t get the sense this has the same pull as Transformers - and I don’t think it will do nearly as well at the box office.
Or am I wrong? You tell me.
Permalink | Comments (7) | Post your comment | Categories: Coming Attractions
Comments
By Tony
August 6, 2009 4:25 PM | Link to this
The term entertaining simple is different for everyone. What entertains one person, another can find completely pointless. Am I entertained by big explosions? Yes. Am I entertained by classic gun fights? Yes. Am I entertained by love stories/dramas/comedies/etc? Yes. Do I have to have character development to be entertained? No. Another person could answer these questions completely different and that is fine. That is why there are so many different genres and types of movies. All I want from a movie is to be entertained. If after watching a movie, and the answer to that question is yes, then the movie succeeded in it’s mission. But, that is just my opinion and what is great is that everyone has their own opinions/likes/dislikes/etc. Personally, I do not find Kung-Fu movies entertaining so I do not watch them, but others think they are great.By Go Joe!
August 6, 2009 2:01 PM | Link to this
Go see this movie! Now you know and knowing is half the battle! Enjoy the special effects and remember what it was like growing up in the 80’s and reading comics and watching the cartoons…which also taught valuable lesson in the knowing is half the battle segments. Relax people this movie is for fun it is not a serious movie and is not meant to be.By Zack
August 6, 2009 1:42 PM | Link to this
Honestly, I’m thinking about seeing it, just because I like the cast. But I don’t know — honestly, I would’ve liked to have read reviews to help me make my decision. I guess I still can. Some pubs, of course, like the NY Times and the AV Club will send someone out to review it on Friday.By Allie D
August 6, 2009 1:17 PM | Link to this
I hate it when the word “entertaining” must be used to describe something that is essentially without any redeeming merit other than “stuff blows up real good.” I can be both entertained and not be made to feel like a doofus when I watch a movie. I loved Pirates of the Caribbean, The Matrix (okay, not so much the sequels, but they were passable), Die Hard (even the last one), Lethal Weapon (all of them), Predator, any number of Kung-Fu movies, Spiderman, Kill Bill, Star Wars, The Terminator movies, Road Warrior, Indiana Jones, and even Robocop. First class entertainment in pretty much all of them. And things get shot, beaten to death, and blown up in all of them. But every one of those movies has something that Transformers and all of these rock ‘em, sock ‘em special effects shells of movies don’t have. Memorable characters I can actually care about that are the focal points of the film. NOT the special effects. That’s the big difference. It’s asking too much for filmmakers to fill their movies with people. It’s easier to make them shallow avatars manipulated by plot and mind-blowing CGI. I’ve seen video games with more emotional impact than some of these movies. People seem to confuse criticism of the recent Hollywood onslaught of big banging action movies as an attack on the genre of action movies as a whole. The seem to think we only enjoy depressing “message” movies like Crash and Schindler’s List. On the contrary, the people who have the biggest problem with Transformers, et al, are generally the ones who LOVE action movies and remember when they were actually good, and are pissed off that Hollywood has gotten too lazy to make them anymore.By Sir Critic
August 6, 2009 1:04 PM | Link to this
Tony: I appreciate your even tone in which you made your comment, thank you. However, I want to be very clear on this point: I know very well that movies like “G.I. Joe” and “Transformers” are not supposed to be, as you call them, mind-altering experiences. The problem is that too many of these movies are mind-numbing ones. A movie doesn’t have to have an Oscar pedigree to be good (see “Taken”) - I just wish that some of them weren’t so bent on frying the central nervous system - and not bent enough on creating memorable characters and stories.By Tony
August 6, 2009 12:48 PM | Link to this
I am plannign on seeing G.I. Joe. I have watched Bubba Hotep and Kung Pow before so I think I can manage anything. But I am not going to watch it for a truly mind altering experience but for a fun movie to entertain me. Take these types for what they are, fun and entertaining, not an Oscar Best Picture. BTW Allie…Master’sof the Universe was already made into a movie a long time ago with Dolph Lundgren, I think), but I think they are working on a new one as well.By Allie D.
August 6, 2009 12:26 PM | Link to this
I am very much in your boat, Eric. I have no plans to see yet another entry into the “Big Dumb Action Movies Based On Toys I Never Played With” cannon. I’m sure there will be a Hot Wheels movie sometime in the future, as well as a He Man movie. I’ve never seen the appeal of the genre. And maybe I’m turning into a curmudgeon, but I’m becoming less and less thrilled by massive, brainless special effects “Summer Blockbuster” bonanzas. Give me Dark Knight every day of the week. But you can keep the Boy Toy movies. I await your review of Julia & Julia, as I really want to see this one. Oh, and I loved this line about Van Helsing: “That monstrosity felt like going on a ride at Universal Studios for 573 times straight, without ever getting back in line.” LOL! So, so true.