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Dayton Daily News education reporter Scott Elliott writes about schools, kids, teaching and learning.
Home > Blogs > Get on the Bus > Archives > 2005 > December > 01 > Entry
Parents vs. teachers
Who’s fault is it when kids misbehave or fail to achieve at school?
There is a huge divide in the average school, with parents on one side and teachers on the other, both pointing fingers.
I once asked the Atlanta Journal Constitution’s fine education blogger Patti Ghezzi what surprised her most about doing a blog. This was it. The level of anger and distrust parents and teachers have toward each other. You see it often in the comments on Patti’s blog — parents attacking teachers for being unfair or unfit and teachers ripping parents for making excuses and sending their kids to school unprepared.
This undercurrent was evident Tuesday night when the Dayton school board invited parents in, as part of a series of feedback meetings with its constituency groups. Unfortunately, my story had to focus on the big news that Horace Mann Elementary School will be rebuilt, but the parent-teacher tension was on display.
Here are some of the parent complaints:
—Student behavior. Several parents said out-of-control students dominate the attention of teachers and administrators and programs intended to address the problem are not noticeable. Parents said principals and teachers fail to enforce the rules or move aggressively to remove troublesome kids.
—Teachers and staff yelling at children. Parents from several schools said they were uncomfortable with how often school employees yell at students, sometimes using words like “stupid” which parents don’t allow children to use at home.
—Some parents also complained about other parents. One man told the story of how he signed in for the last parent-teacher conference of the day and he was just the fifth name on the list even though appointments were available from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. He was frustrated by how few parents in the district seemed to care, noting also that a large number of kids at his child’s school routinely do not do homework.
In January, elementary school teachers get to vent their frustrations to the school board. Perhaps they’ll fire back at parents.
I’d like to hear from teachers and parents out there. How can this parent-teacher blame game be overcome?
Permalink | Comments (5) | Categories: The Parent-Teacher Divide
Comments
By Rick
December 6, 2005 7:39 AM | Link to this
The failure of the DPS to suspend unruly students goes back over a decade, probably longer. In 1994, I think, Jim Debrosse had an article in the DDN about how the suspension rates for suburban schools in the are was MUCH higher than the DPS. I used to provide charts to the School Board in the following years demonstrating, using Ohio Dept of Education data, that the situation had not changed.By Terri
December 2, 2005 2:43 PM | Link to this
The solution is mandatory boarding school for all children from age 3 to 21. Teachers would not be able to blame parents for anything. And since the children are no longer their responsiblity parents would have no need/desire/basis for complaint. Think about it. Younger students could be read to, taken to museums, and otherwise intellecutually stimulated as is recommended in the preschool years. Daily exercise and healthy eating could be ingrained. Since only good habits would be developed, the usual problems that arise while rearing children could be curtailed.By Doug
December 1, 2005 8:49 PM | Link to this
The fingerpointing is also a symptom of a cynical society that does not trust authority. Every parent is an expert about schools because every parent went to school. Parents don’t trust the teacher. On the other side, each teacher, (especially the younger ones) had a family situation that was for the most part pretty decent. So some teachers don’t understand that many parents are coming from a whole different set of family values. I got this reality check when I became an administrator in a poor rural school district back in the 1990’s. Those parents didn’t a family situation anything like I did growing up! Amazing! Society changes from when you were a kid in schools folks. The solution: Walk a mile in the other person’s shoes. That always works. I became a better teacher after I became a parent of school age kids. I got to see what it was like ont he other side. I get a kick out of listening to young colleagues going through the same thing these days. Meanwhile,nagging and nitpicking parents who get a job in schools or start volunteering often also get a reality check. They didn’t realize all the issues teachers have to put up with. There is no end in site to the parents vs. teachers battle. Just a sign of the time as society continues to spiral out of control. (But then, I had a bad day at work. )By Mary
December 1, 2005 5:03 PM | Link to this
I agree with Tim about time stressed parents and teachers in a stressed out culture as being perhaps a large part of the problem. However, I think schools themselves encourage families and students to overextend on activities and further stress family and sleep schedules. Another part of the problem, to me, are very different philosophies people have regarding education, value systems, expectations of behavior, etc. Public education is an uneasy melting pot because of very diverse backgrounds and little discussion and debate. Some teachers and parents do not share the same values, life experiences, and education that I do. It was difficult as a parent to see other adults and other students influencing my children in ways that I did not agree. This happens because children are spending more time with teachers and other students than with family. Individual parents have very little say. Strong PTO/PTAs seem to be a thing of the past and have been replaced by booster club cliques. Those parents seem to be the only ones on the radar screen as far as school administrators are concerned. Most other parents are shut off and isolated from the school decision making.By TimG
December 1, 2005 1:45 PM | Link to this
Scott, I’m a second-career teacher with grown children. Now that I’ve seen both sides of the coin, I have to say that what your describing isn’t the problem at all: it’s a symptom of the problem. The problem: time (have you heard this one yet?) On one hand you’ve got parents with more activities, responsiblities, and distractions than ever before. On the other hand you’ve got teachers with, well, the same situation. Fingers are pointed both ways because both sides have slipped (obviously, I’m speaking in generalities here) away from their primary focus—their children/students. Teachers, bogged down with testing and accountability measures, want the parents to shoulder part of the load—at least bring the child to school ready for the day. Parents, bogged down with carpools, two working parents, and their children’s activities, want to be able to just get the child to school and let the teacher deal with those hours. Imagine what the school situation would be if the parents had an hour or two to spend with their children each night (using part of it to prepare the students for the next day) and the teachers had the luxury of a less-demanding school day so they could spend time with the students doing activities that are now done at home. If you find that school, please e-mail me so I can apply for a teaching position. Don’t post it…if you do that, then everyone will apply. Tim