By margo

January 3, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this

Thanks, Scott. I found this to be a very valuable article. I printed it out and plan to keep it handy. The counselor’s recommendations make sense to me but, then again, I’m someone who tends to be pretty organized. I use a daily planner and like neat files. I will strive to find the middle ground in teaching my son to be organized as he gets older, cautious not to go overboard and turn him into a frustrated perfectionist.

By Lea

January 3, 2008 9:18 AM | Link to this

OldProf… All I can say is, quite a few of those absentee fathers are not allowed to see their children (by mothers or the courts) or don’t know where they are. So how to get them to step up? Let them see their kids. As a stepparent I see more of the “I don’t care” attitude coming from their mother. Now as far as boys being a mess - we’ve been concentrating on girls so long and medicating boys just because they don’t learn the same way girls do - who’s surprised? I don’t think this is the fault of men in general. Let’s look at what society as a whole is doing to our kids. And LET the guys take an active role.

By Mary

January 3, 2008 7:13 AM | Link to this

Speaking of boys and dirt, I noticed our high and mighty Attorney General Marc Dann who was crusading against tax exemptions for charter schools a few week ago is in the news this morning. Along with five of his own family members, Sen Jacobson and Rep McGregor (Springfield), he is among the public officials trveling to the OSU/LSU game. I suppose he won’t be questioning the tax exempt status of big time college sports since he is a hangerson, but will challenge things like charter schools. Also yesterday’s USA Today had an interesting debate about LSU’s and OSU’s football player graduation rates.

By Mary

January 3, 2008 1:36 AM | Link to this

Ron, why do you suppose video games are more stimulating and captive than school work to many boys? (I am not being flip about this.) I got my son an afterschool newspaper route (for six years)to help get him away from video games, get him outdoors, and help force him to walk and ride his bike. However, video games have also been claimed by some research to help with attention deficit disorder. His IQ was apparently in the genius range. School work was apparently underchallenging and unstimulating. After eighth grade (while still maintaining his newspaper route), I started driving him to college classes, to help provide him the opportunity to learn a foreign language he was interested in learning. He was bored with just about anything else school work related. daddy dearest, I agree with some of your tone. I think some of the same points are in the book “Come on people” by Bill Cosby, as well as many other books. I think we sort of have a fatherhood crisis in our culture.

By ron

January 2, 2008 7:04 PM | Link to this

two words: video games

By Oldprof

January 2, 2008 6:28 PM | Link to this

Well said, Daddy Dearest, but do you fear that you’re preaching to the choir here? By that, I mean that this blog is frequented by people (male and female) who are passionately interested about children (and a few who are interested in it as a vehicle to promote their political aspirations). The big question is this: how to motivate those absentee fathers and anti-education households to a genuine change of behaviors and attitudes? Saying that men need to step up is fine—but how are we going to make them?

By Mary

January 2, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

This topic is being oversimplified. A lot of boys (and girls) look upon school papers as busy work. Generally, girls are socially conditioned to be more adaptable, neat and are more likely to have the “please disease” driving them to be neat. Besides, who usually straightens up around homes and offices - “that’s women’s work” - women who are menially multitasked into poor health and no time to think, rest, or be creative. So there is a role model issue. (As a packrat and busy butterfly, I consider myself an exception. I also balked at busy work in school.) Anyone getting high and mighty about their personal neatness and organization should read the book “A Perfect Mess- the hidden benefits of disorder”. This book talks about societal obsessions with neatness and disorder. Organizing a backpack of papers, a locker, a desk, a pantry, or a house is entirely different from organizing a political group, a company, a country, an environmental plan, alternative fuels, an aircraft’s design,etc. To say one who is good and well organized, or not, in one project will be good and well organized, or not, in another on an entirely different scale and discipline is disingenuous. I consider myself thinking on an entirely different scale of organization than many others. It also is a matter of priorities and time - say, focusing on the forest instead of the trees. Maybe we should go with the flow like ants in a colony who recognize differing roles they are better suited for,including organizing systems on small and larger scales. I find it difficult to fret about neatness in my home, car, or yard when the outer world is a royal mess. That is my deliberate choice and priority.

By daddy dearest

January 2, 2008 12:38 PM | Link to this

Anyone interested in this phenomenon or malaise that boys and young men are experiencing can further read “Boys Adrift” by Dr. Leonard Sax, he also wrote “Why Gender Matters”. I find it interesting that all of the experts cited in the NYT article were women and they are analyzing the organization of boys (or young men). I guess that’s to be expected from a liberal rag like the New York Times, men need help from women in order to exist in their vision of a perfect world. Our society has devalued masculinity and has left many of young men confused and aimless. In addition, for our part men have dropped the ball as well, by allowing the basic social education of our sons to be done by women and not being more positive male role models. As a middle school teacher, only their mothers (or grandmothers) are raising so many of my male students that are behaviorally challenged and there are few positive male role models in their lives. We men need to step up and take control of our boys’ lives!