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Home > Blogs > Adventures in Motherhood > Archives > 2012 > February > 21 > Entry
Family is about love, not blood
So - notoriously - my son asked one of those questions I wasn’t prepared to answer again.
Nothing raunchy, nothing prefaced with “Uh, mom … (long pause)” and thankfully not, “Well so-and-so said if you eat watermelon seeds one will grow in your tummy. Is that how mommies get babies in there?”
But it was close.
“Mom, why are some kids adopted?”
My turn for a long pause; there are so many reason. Where do I begin?
My favorite aunt and uncle adopted two children, and are very open and honest about it. I saw them go through the highs-and-lows of the adoption process; saw the emotional commitment they made years ago for their now 12 and 8 year old children.
I was there when they brought them each home for the first time.
The children have never been anything but a gift, members of the family, the way things were - and are - supposed to be.
Adoption isn’t a topic I’m unfamiliar with, but I’m no expert, and I was unsure how to explain it to my son.
I kept it simple (he’s eight), explaining some couples are maybe unable to have children or want to provide a loving home to a child who needs one; and sometimes other parents feel they are not prepared to care for a child so they choose to allow him to be adopted.
“You know your cousins are adopted, right?” I asked him.
He looked at me in awe, “Do they know?”
“Yes, they do.” I said. They have known since they were able to understand it.
“Are they still my cousins?” he asked.
“Yes, of course. They will always be your family.”
I know there is so much more to tell him, but I’m not sure he’d understand yet.
“Another way to explain adoption to children is that instead of growing the baby in a tummy, adoptive moms grow their babies in their hearts,” said Marin Smith.
Marin and Jerid are parents of a 5-year-old daughter adopted from Taiwan in 2007. They picked her up on Valentine’s Day, or as they call it: “Gotcha Day.”
“I think Gotcha Day being on Valentine’s Day makes it super-special. Valentine’s Day is all about love, and Jerid and I received the love of our lives that day,” said Marin. “We always have a cake with three candles on it: one for Taiwan, one for the U.S. and one for family.”
While in Taiwan, Marin purchased 21 special, hand-made items from a local market.
“Every year on Family (Gotcha) Day she gets a gift. They are her 21 Gifts,” said Marin.
What a wonderful way to celebrate the culmination of a loving family and what a blessing adoption can be.
I hope my children grow to understand that family isn’t all about blood (or watermelon seeds), but it is always about love.
Contact this contributing writer at Motherhoodcolumn@yahoo.com or facebook.com/motherhoodCTC.
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