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Ellen Belcher is the Dayton Daily News opinion pages editor. She writes about state government, education, the environment, higher education and all things Dayton.
Martin Gottlieb is an editorial writer and columnist for the Dayton Daily News opinion pages. He focuses on the political process itself and does such national issues as war, the economy, taxes and Social Security, as well as a hodge-podge of local and state issues.Home > Blogs > A Matter of Opinion > Archives > 2008 > September > 12 > Entry
Conscientious parent or helicopter dad?
If you read my column today, tell us what you think about “helicopter” parents — those that hover obsessively over their kids. Am I one of them?
For background, here is my original blog post about kids walking to school alone that sparked a healthy debate in 2006. And here is another post from last year in which I outlined my argument that parents have gone over the edge.
Share your thoughts on this topic in the comments.
Permalink | Comments (5) | Post your comment | Categories: Public Safety
Comments
By Mary
September 12, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this
I see nothing wrong at all with what you did. Why should a “sane” parent assume that all will be well? Ignorance is bliss. Even adults are killed at crosswalks. Supposedly, the judgment center of the brain does not develop until the mid twenties. Your 8 year old daughter, who does not drive, will have to make judgments about cars going through red lights, stop signs, or crosswalks.By Lea
September 12, 2008 3:44 PM | Link to this
You’re justified in making sure she’s okay. The ones I call helicopter parents are the ones who don’t let their children learn right and wrong, always bailing them out and blaming someone else, and making a nuisance of themselves at school and activities. Johnny got a D? Maybe he needs to work harder - it’s not the teacher’s fault he didn’t study at home. Bethie got benched? Maybe she should learn not to spit at the other team and call them names - the coach surely didn’t tell her that was proper behavior. I keep in touch with my kids’ teachers but when there’s a difference of opinion between them and the kids, I listen to the whole thing. I would say that so far, whether I like the teacher or not, I’ve had to side with them every time. I’ve read a lot of your columns and I think you’re doing just fine!By Concerned Mom of 3
September 12, 2008 10:43 PM | Link to this
Scott, if you hadn’t gone around the block to check on your daughter, you might have worried about her throughout the day. The trip around the block was for your peace of mind. It shows how much you care about your daughter… Nothing wrong with that. “Helicopter parents” impede their children’s development by being too involved. Nobody wants to see their kids learn lessons the hard way, but in some situations, the hard way is the best way for kids to learn life lessons.By Worried DPS Parent
September 13, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this
I do some helicopter parenting myself and see nothing wrong with it, as long as it doesn’t get too smothering. Best example I can provide is how yesterday, as we were halfway up the first flight of stairs to my eldest son’s (1st Grade) class, he turned and told me I could got to work now. I waited until he went through the door at the top of the stairs, then snuck up to watch him walk down the corridor to class! As he has some possible behavioral issues, I do helicopter him quite a bit, though I try not to and I would rather be considered a helicopter parent than a neglectful one.By Rick
September 13, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this
Oh, I wish more parents were “insane” like you!