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Ellen Belcher is the Dayton Daily News opinion pages editor. She writes about state government, education, the environment, higher education and all things Dayton.
Martin Gottlieb is an editorial writer and columnist for the Dayton Daily News opinion pages. He focuses on the political process itself and does such national issues as war, the economy, taxes and Social Security, as well as a hodge-podge of local and state issues.Home > Blogs > A Matter of Opinion > Archives > 2010 > February > 18 > Entry
Scott Elliott: Super Nanny has it right that good discpline requires self control
“SuperNanny” is one of my guilty pleasures. Watching it just makes me feel better about my own parenting, as the poor overmatched moms and dads on the show get pushed around by their bratty kids. At least I’m better than them, I tell myself.
But as Jo Frost, the kindly and smart British nanny who stars in the show, goes about teaching effective strategies for dealing with unruly kids (beware of the “naughty chair”), there is one place she will never go. Nobody is going to bend a kid over their knee for a spanking on her watch.
Like Frost, I am a spanking non-believer. So I pursue more effective strategies. Or so I’ve told myself.
I cheered last year when Ohio finally outlawed spanking as a punishment at schools. We were the 30th state to institute such a ban, even though only six districts still allowed it. In fact, the whole state had only 110 school spanking cases in 2007-08.
The shift away from spanking has been pretty dramatic. In 1984, 68,000 Ohio children were paddled at school and only five states banned the practice.
The change is also cultural. While spanking is still strongly approved of in opinion surveys, fewer parents actually employ it.
Yet, differences in attitudes about spanking are oddly connected to political ideology. Surveys show conservative and deeply religious parents are more inclined to spank than those who are less religious and more liberal. This inflames the debate.
So you might expect that when a study by a researcher at Michigan’s Calvin College, a religiously affiliated school in a politically conservative part of that state, found last month that spanking might have positive effects on kids, the forces on the left and the right loaded up and fired away.
For the study, 2,600 people were asked about how they were disciplined. The findings concluded that those who were spanked, but not physically abused, from ages 2 to 6 performed better in school and volunteered more as teenagers.
Stories soon popped up hailing spanking’s effectiveness in the conservative press and critics on the left were quick to pounce, insisting that spanking is harmful and attacking the study as small and unpublished.
While it’s true that the bulk of the research from the last decade advised parents to move away from spanking, there are some interesting nuances.
One of the difficulties for researchers is distinguishing acceptable discipline from abuse. Generally, a hit that leaves a mark is considered crossing the line; one reason so many people advise against spanking is because it is easy for angry parents to get carried away. Spanking is usually treated as a last resort, which can mean the parent has run out of patience. That’s when the situation can get dangerous — when the parent loses control.
But this effect isn’t limited to spanking. In October, The New York Times magazine wrote about a new phenomenon in child discipline — abusive yelling — which it termed “the new spanking.” The story described (mostly liberal) parents who were philosophically opposed to spanking but found themselves, instead, regularly screaming at their kids. Experts in the story worried that intense shouting could have similarly harmful effects reminiscent of physical abuse.
Interestingly, there is some research to support the Michigan study’s suggestion that spanking might be effective for young children, but only in limited cases and with a very high bar for parental control. Some studies found if parents remain calm, spanked as a last resort and only in a fast, non-abusive way (such as with two quick taps on the rear) the technique was effective in getting children to comply.
Notice this high bar is required both for spanking and raising your voice, and that things can go bad when the parent loses control either way.
That’s another thing I like about “SuperNanny.” Frost’s techniques are methodical and focus on getting the parents to disengage their own emotions as they correct their children. I like to think I follow her example, but I’m sure glad there aren’t any cameras around when a naughty kid needs a “time out.”
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Comments
By calvinj
February 18, 2010 8:49 AM | Link to this
Oh no, another one with all the answers. Track the lack of corporal punishment as a choice for discipline with the increase in problems in the schools. The child righters get their way, including Hillary, and everyone else needs to follow. It’s nice that Elliot chooses not to use discipline at home. We’ll see how that works in 10-20 years. But what works for Elliot may not work for others, and the classroom is filled with product of nonbelievers. And they don’t want schools to provide any discipline—just “talk” to them and everything will be “okay” say the little voices. We’ll see how the pendulum swings when the products of nondiscipline have reared their own kids into the next couple generations. What do you think schools will be like then from lack of control.
By FAM
February 18, 2010 9:06 AM | Link to this
calvinj - Please re-read the article, the author is suggesting that corporal discipline by the parents at an early age may be productive, as long as the parent is punishing the child to correct the behavior, and not because they are angry. I believe that the discipline problems in schools are a reflection of the lack of discipline at home, and the lack of support and cooperation by the parents at the schools (don’t automatically take the child’s side when there is a problem at school). Children will not learn discipline if the parents and other adults around them are not disciplined themselves.
By Dr. Sigmund Freud
February 18, 2010 10:30 AM | Link to this
Which a majority of kids do not have, because they have not been taught it by YOU KNOW WHO.