Winter weather photos
SI cover features area model
Madison vs. Waynesville
Award-winning columnist Tom Archdeacon — an old-school storyteller in a brand-new venue — writes about sports, the city, southwest Ohio and anything else that catches his fancy… or yours.Home > Blogs > Through the Arch > Archives > 2009 > June > 21 > Entry
COLUMN: Mark and Blake LaForce — Eye to Eye on Father’s’ Day
Rather than a big backyard party, a round of golf or taking in a ball game, Mark LaForce will spend Father’s Day in Room 50 of the Intensive Care Unit at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center.
That’s where he’ll lean down until he’s face to face with his son Blake — a boy who had combined his dad’s football musculature with his mom’s good looks, a young man whose face now is discolored and bloated by steroid treatments, whose body now requires a feeding line, a neck stint, a trachea tube — and he’ll hold out the gold cross he wears so proudly around his neck.
“I want him to see that cross,” Mark said. “It’s his and I tell him I’m wearing it to highlight our faith together and let him know God is with him.”
Although Blake hasn’t been able to speak for almost 10 months, Mark said they will communicate: “When we’re eye to eye ,that’s our quality time. That’s when he talks with his eyes.
“He’s saying. ‘Dad, Mom, I’m here.’ We know he understands because there are times he’ll pucker up for his mom’s kiss. And there is one thing that comes out loud and clear from his look. He’s telling us, ‘I’m still fighting.’”
Few Father’s Day moments anywhere will be more heart-wrenchingly intense than the one Mark LaForce and his 18-year-old son will share today, June 21.
Blake was a standout junior linebacker and running back for the Vandalia Butler high school football team in 2007 — he ran for 237 and three touchdowns against Tecumseh — and he just may have been the strongest guy in the school. One of the state’s top prep power lifters, he could dead lift and squat 550 pounds, bench 350.
For all his physical gifts, there was a quietness about him and that made him even more popular. His future appeared unbounded until a little over 19 months ago when he was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblast Leukemia (ALL).
After a successful bone marrow transplant in May of 2008, he appeared on the road to recovery until mid-August when he developed toxoplasmosis, a devastating infection in the central nervous system, that, as Mark put it, “shut down all his motor skills. All of a sudden he could no longer walk, talk, eat or drink. It’s been that way since.”
Even so, Blake was slowly fighting his way back from that when this past March 26 he had a pulmonary hemorrhage, or, as Mark again explains, “his lungs bled similar to what a mountain climber or diver might get… And we nearly lost him again.”
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 2009 4:25 PM, EDT
“(The day) started badly. Blake’s breathing saturation acutely dropped suddenly…Bottom line, our doctor came in and is nervous and concerned about his sudden condition, not to mention putting the breathing tube into his lungs with the risk of causing any more bleeding somewhere else on the way down….They hit him with a big dose of steroids, running constant platelet transfusions, more blood transfusions to give him more oxygen and all the other medications he gets…..
“I am asking you, Blake’s TEAM, to hit your knees and pray for a good couple of days, so we can see some light at the end of this big detour tunnel….”
THURSDAY, JUNE 18, 2009 1:14 PM, EDT:
“We do not have to tell you that Blake’s journey is very complex and difficult for (him). We can not candy coat this. It is a living nightmare we want to wake up from. What keeps Blake going is God and just Blake.”
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Mark was a lineman on the 1973 Wittenberg football team that won the NCAA Division III national title. After marrying Linda, then an airline stewardess, they had three children, he coached many of the kids’ sports teams and worked as a high tech software salesman.
He was not a writer.
But a few months after Blake’s diagnosis, he found himself drawn to the laptop he and Linda had bought their son for Christmas in 2007. So many people were asking for news and things they could do that he found the best way to communicate was to post updates on the CaringBridge website sponsored by Children’s Medical Center of Dayton.
As Blake’s medical odyssey became far more threatening, it tested the entire family. For a while Mark and Linda lived seven days a week in Cincinnati, one sleeping on the cot in Blake’s room while the other slept at the American Cancer Society’s Hope Lodge. They now go in shifts between their Butler Township home and the hospital — a friend always stays and tends to their house — but it’s still a monumental undertaking.
With the turn of events last August, Mark was forced to give up his job to be at his son’s bedside. He said with all their attention turned to Blake, he and Linda felt strains in their marriage and their own inner resolve often was tested.
They have survived by drawing on their faith, their love for each other and the continual wave of support from family, friends and especially the Vandalia Butler High community.
For Mark, some of the best tonic has come when he’s sat down at that computer and poured out his heart in the CaringBridge posts that have become an intimate, almost-daily journal.
“To sit and reflect, it’s good for my own mental health,” he said. “I try to tell you what’s going on and what we’re learning.”
That includes, he said , ‘Not asking, ‘Why Blake? Why us?’ You’ll never make it if you keep getting hung up on ‘Why?” If you think you’re going to go through life without hardship or heartache, you’ll have a rude awakening.
“You just have to learn to be strong, put one foot in front of the other and say, ‘Okay, I took your punch, what’s next?’”
People have embraced that approach and as of this weekend, his journal — which includes pictures of Blake — and an accompanying guest book signed by people from around the world, has had over 108,000 visitors.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 20, 2008 11:08 PM, EDT:
“Much of the same, as Blake is still kind of catatonic….I stopped by the Aviators football practice tonight spontaneously, while I was in town for a few hours. The coaches were gracious enough to let me address the team… The bottom line message I wanted to convey was just enjoy this opportunity while you have it. Life is full of twists and turns and uncertainties so go for the gusto now….And take care of your teammate for many reasons.”
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sitting in the backyard serenity of their home the other morning — surrounded by trees and flowers and the shrill calls of cardinals — Mark focused on a metal bench near the house.
Two years ago, Blake surprised his older sister, Lauren — who like her mom had recently become a born-again Christian — when he plopped down next to her and asked something unexpected.
“It was pretty amazing for a 16 year old,” Mark said. “He asked ‘How can I help? How can I make a difference?’”
Mark became silent, then finally offered: “Unfortunately, this is the way Blake is being used. God is working through him. I thoroughly believe that. There’s a reason he’s still here. So many people — especially those Blake’s age — have changed because of him.”
In holding tight to the positive, Mark said he’s occasionally found himself at odds with a couple of medical people.
“I’ve had them say ‘Mark, you’ve got to be realistic. Blake has got issues. He’s got a lot going on.’ And I go, ‘Yeah, so?’ Here we are knocking them down one at a time like the old Whac-A-Mole game. ‘What’s your point?’
“And they say, ‘Have you ever thought enough is enough?’ And I’ll be truthful, I’ve told those people to leave the freakin’ room.”
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
SATURDAY, MAY 30, 2009 2:43 PM, EDT:
“It was an honor for our family to accept Blake’s high school diploma and see the packed Student Activity Center break into a thunderous standing O applause for quite a while…. To be mentioned in so many speeches is a beautiful tribute to Blake and made us so proud. The Class of 2009 all wore a red heart with #41 in the center on their gowns….Wow, I’m tearing up even still now.”
TUESDAY, JUNE 2, 2009 10:38 AM, EDT:
“Saturday afternoon when I arrived in Blake’s room I told him I had a surprise for him…his high school diploma. He immediately opened his eyes and stared at it, reading it and (he) made a satisfied expression.”
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Last month a local church organized a community-wide garage sale and raised almost $8,800 for the Ronald McDonald House and the LaForce family. Someone else has made Blake LaForce bumper stickers. A girl in the neighborhood collected a wide assortment sports shirts that bore students’ names on the backs and, with her mom’s help, sewed them into a quilt for Blake.
A woman from Texas sent a prayer quilt. Dr. Jim Klosterman, director of surgery for the Sports Medicine Center at Good Samaritan Hospital and consultant for the University of Dayton women’s basketball team and several area high schools, just completed a 100-mile. fund-raising bike ride in Asheville, N.C. with his daughter in Blake’s honor.
Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel has taken a special interest in the LaForce family and the Dave Matthews Band — through a singer songwriter friend who plays the guitar for Blake — just sent autographed CDs to the hospital.
“Blake is bringing out the best in people,” Mark said. “I know he’s made me a better person, too.
“I’ve gotten over the selfish part of me that used to focus on, ‘Oh God, what a college ball player he’d have been.’ Now it’s like who gives a ….
“He’s already proven so much more than that. Through all of this, I’ve never seen him waiver. You know how you’re proud of some one in your own life? Well, that’s how I feel about Blake 10 times over.
“He’s made me realize the most important things of being a dad and he’s teaching me how to be a man. A real man. He wanted to make a difference…and he is.”
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
THURSDAY, MAY 21, 2009 5:38 PM, EDT:
“Blake sprung another fever last night from ??? …. It really is so frustrating when a fever pops up because Blake is miserable and we are not sure why…..(But) read my lips, there is nothing that will keep Blake or us down. Blake/we will keep fighting until the war is won.”
SATURDAY, JUNE 13, 2009 6:43 PM, EDT: “Mom has been hands on, like no one but a mother can do, with Blake today. He’s been bathed and caressed with an attention to detail.”
TUESDAY, JUNE 16, 2009 1:36 PM, EDT:
“Again, we can’t imagine what he is thinking, but he is unmistakably fighting with every ounce of energy and will power he has. We are more than anxious to get him well again and hear his story from him.”
Permalink | Comments (5) | Post your comment |
Comments
By Helen
January 18, 2010 11:44 AM | Link to this
nice article. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did you guys hear that some chinese hacker had busted twitter yesterday again.
By Julia
January 18, 2010 11:44 AM | Link to this
very useful read. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did you guys know that some chinese hacker had busted twitter yesterday again.
By Dawn
July 6, 2009 8:39 AM | Link to this
Your family is in our prayers. Blake was a strong willed person and will forever be in our hearts.
By HMD
July 4, 2009 9:50 PM | Link to this
Blake is truly an unstopable force. He taught us all a lesson in how to be strong. I went to school with his older brother and my sister graduated with Blake this year. Seeing them honor his fight was amazing. He taught the senior class much more then they could have ever expected. They will forever remember their strong and ever fighting friend. May he rest in peace.
By Waynette Wright
July 3, 2009 5:57 PM | Link to this
Your Family Is in our prayers!!!!! My son just graduated from Vandalia Butler and I loved that your son was recognized and got a standing Ovation. He will be missed!!!!!