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Award-winning columnist Tom Archdeacon — an old-school storyteller in a brand-new venue — writes about sports, the city, southwest Ohio and anything else that catches his fancy… or yours.Home > Blogs > Through the Arch > Archives > 2009 > June > 24 > Entry
Joey Votto and the cretins who come out of the woodwork
As Joey Votto walked off the field following batting practice before the Reds Futures Game April 4 at Fifth Third Field, I met him at the dugout steps and asked if we could talk for a few minutes.
The Cincinnati Reds first baseman led the way to the end of the dugout, where I asked him something about how it felt being back in Dayton again since he’d played for the Dragons in 2003 and 2004 and was very close to his host family here.
He offered up a couple of Dayton memories with a smile, after which I happened to bring up his dad, who had died last August. I had no agenda, other than I knew I had found it pretty tough when my dad died.
I asked something along the lines of “The season starts in two days and this will be your first Opening Day ever without your dad. Is that tough to deal with? Do you have any special memories of him on Opening Day?”
His face drained. His smile melted and for a good while he said absolutely nothing. “I’m not going to talk about this,” he finally said in little more than a whisper. “I’m not going there.”
I felt bad and it took me a few seconds to regroup. He never did quite refocus on our conversation, which ended a couple of minutes later.
I wrote about that encounter last Saturday night after Votto — who had missed most of a month for what, at the time, was only said to be “a stress-related” incident — played nine innings with the Dragons on a rehab assignment here.
In the Saturday blog, I wrote: “He’s scheduled to play for the Dragons Sunday and that may be especially challenging. It’s Father’s Day and last summer when his dad, Joseph — a Toronto chef and his son’s biggest supporter — died, Votto took the loss especially hard. He took a week off for bereavement, then returned to the Reds and was given some extra time out of the line-up by manager Dusty Baker.
“Before he left, he had asked the club to keep the death quiet until his return. Since then, he’s only talked on a couple of occasions — and very briefly — about losing his father … Sunday, I imagine thoughts of his dad will be swirling beneath the surface.”
By the next day — as is too often the case in the blogosphere — some real cretins came out of the woodwork.
In the internet chat rooms, the sports blogs and every other open web forum, people are able to hide behind a fake name, a catchy moniker — freyourmind and million dollar baby come to mind in this instance — and never have to reveal their identity or take responsibility for what they say.
And so somebody like freyourmind writes: “stress related, what a pus. hey million dollar baby we all have stress I say get over it and get back to your job. In my opinion they are all spoiled brats. peace”
Of course many people were sympathetic, but there were also ones whose comments were so nasty that I either killed them off my blog or erased them from my phone messages. To me you are a coward if you attack someone, but refuse to use your name.
The people who tried to make Votto a pinata — not just on my blog, but at other internet sites and on some sports talk radio shows — questioned everything from his sexuality to his toughness and his commitment and care for his teammates. Their common thread often was their lack of civility and that’s what I hate about the whole blog, open-forum free-for-all that’s now so popular.
Athletes are human, too. Some of these comments hurt them and their families and none of us is any richer for the vilest rants.
And as everyone now knows — three nights after he appeared here in Dayton — Votto, back with the Reds, told reporters in Toronto that the loss of his dad is the thing that put him into the mental tailspin he’s still trying to recover from.
He told how he’s been hospitalized twice, how he experienced panic attacks and called 9-1-1 in Cincinnati. He said he thought he was going to die.
My heart goes out to Votto. To me, it took real courage to address the situation publicly. He’s now working to make himself better. He’s getting counseling, he’s likely got some medication and he should have all our understanding and support.
As for the always-at-the-ready attackers, my guess is they’re not shamed or chastened by any of this. They’ll continue to cloak themselves in their anonymity and wait for someone else to tear down and besmirch.
Permalink | Comments (6) | Post your comment | Categories: Cincinnati Reds
Comments
By Karen Temple
December 27, 2009 7:20 PM | Link to this
Hello Tom, My name is Karen Temple. I am a big fan of Joey Votto.I absolutely know what he is going through because my mom died the same year as his dad did.I have nobody to talk to at all about it and this is so hard.I am having my aunt Patty to e-mail you because I do not own a computer.I hope you don”t mind.Iwish Joey had a site or an address where I could send a note of condolences. I know it would be really nice to hear from somebody when I am thinking of my mom.My dad stays in his room all day with the door closed and I feel shut out by the world.I am praying for Joey and I take one day at a time. I have just been able to see a Dr.because of the anxiety attacks.Sometimes, I really don”t see how Iam going to make it from one day to the next.Sometimes I am sooo sad, and without somebody to talk to, I feel like nobody really cares. Please let me know if there is any way I could write to Mr. Votto.Thank you so much Tom.Iappreciate the fact you took the time to read this.I will be looking forward to hearing from you.Karen Temple.My address is 8744 US 50,Hillsboro, Ohio 45133.My phone # is 937-840-9102. Thanks again Tom..
By Tom
July 4, 2009 12:32 PM | Link to this
Thank you for your article. Joey is on the verge of stardom and in time he will realize his Dad is still there and his biggest fan.
By Alex by Dave of Burg/Ville/Creek
June 25, 2009 10:20 AM | Link to this
Tom, I thank you for taking the time to support Votto. My grandfather died when my father was near Joey’s age, and I can see the pain in his eyes when he talks about it as well. Those who find strength in putting down others in a time of pain are the weakest of our species. They find power in feeling doing this, but would never have the strength or courage to do so in person. They are weak individuals, and I thank you for calling out their putrid actions. I just want to thank you again for the support of those in times of struggle.
By troyoh
June 25, 2009 12:40 AM | Link to this
well said.
By Nicholas Sylvain
June 24, 2009 8:44 PM | Link to this
I was sorry to know the reason, but happy to see him Sunday, and play well, all thing considered. (I got some nice photos of him in the field, so my thanks and my prayers for him!)
By Chris Paterchak
June 24, 2009 8:13 PM | Link to this
I couldn’t agree more Tom. I urge everyone to also read Paul Daugherty’s and John Fay’s articles in today’s (6-24-09) Cincy Inquirer. They echo your sentiment as well.