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Ask Hal: Team would have little use for Berkman

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By Hal McCoy, Staff Writer Updated 8:43 PM Saturday, May 15, 2010

Hall-of-fame baseball writer Hal McCoy knows a thing or two about America’s pastime. If you want to tap into that knowledge, send an e-mail to halmccoy@hotmail.com. For more Ask Hal, log on to DaytonDailyNews.com/reds.

Q: What is it with BP? There is the oil company with the gulf oil leak and then there is the Reds second baseman who refuses to hustle out of the batter’s box. — Dave, Miamisburg/Centerville/Beavercreek.

A: We have a trifecta here in British Petroleum, Brandon Phillips and Big Phony. We know you don’t dabble in oil and you don’t play second base, so that leaves Big Phony because I know – or hope – you have to be smarter than an oil slick.

Q: When the trade deadline gets here I think the one player who could really help this offense is Lance Berkman of Houston. Any chance the Reds can get him? — Jim, Delhi.

A: Where would he play? There’s a guy named Joey Votto playing first base for the Reds, which is where Berkman plays. He used to play left field when Jeff Bagwell was Houston’s first baseman, but I don’t think he can play out there any longer. And he isn’t exactly tearing it up this year. When he is hot, he makes his living beating up on the Reds and if you bring him to Cincinnati you take that away from him. I don’t see it happening, but then I didn’t see the Reds getting Scott Rolen, either, and look who is playing third base.

Q: How does a perfect game differ from your run-of-the-mill no-hitter? Cheri, Tipp City.

A: There is no such thing as a run-of-the-mill no-hitter. A no-hitter is the second-best thing a pitcher can accomplish. A perfect game is the epitome. In a no-hitter, a batter can reach base on a walk or an error or by getting hit by a pitch. It’s still a no-hitter if nobody gets on base via single, double, triple or home run. In a perfect game, no batter reaches base. It is 27 up and 27 down. Nadine asked once if a no-hitter shouldn’t be 27 straight strikeouts because nobody even hit the ball. I told her to go back to her sudoku puzzle.

Q: Brandon Phillips seems to be a different person after his mom and dad have been in town, so shouldn’t Dusty Baker rent them a room at the Embassy Suites? — Bill, Villa Hills, Ky.

A: I’ve noticed that, too. He smiles more, is more affable and seems to play harder. And I know he fears his mom because he told me once, “I have to respect you because my mom likes you.” Wonder how fast Mom Phillips gets from store-to-store at the mall?

Q: I haven’t been this excited about the Reds since Ron Gant was flexing his muscles in the outfield and tomorrow I’m going to start printing up National League championship T-shirts. What size do you want? Dan, Kettering.

A: Well, I’ve lost 22 pounds since Opening Day and hopefully I won’t put any of it back on and lose any more. So I might drop from XL to just L. Are you putting Philadelphia Phillies on the front?

Q: Should Jonny Gomes start using pine tar on his forehead as well as his bat before he steps up to the plate? — Tom, Russia, O.

A: You are referring to the fact that Gomes puts his hand on top of his batting helmet and pushes down hard before every pitch so it doesn’t fall off. I’ve suggested he let his hair grow out and get rid of that Mohawk strip, but he’ll have none of it. Pine tar on his forehead probably is illegal. Pitchers can’t do it.

Q: I contend that the best four starters I ever saw from 1960 on were Sandy Koufax, Bob Gibson, Nolan Ryan and Greg Maddux. Who are yours? — Neb, Pasadena, Calif.

A: Mighty fine list, Neb. Since my career began in 1973 I never got to cover Koufax or Gibson, so I can’t include them. The other two, Nolan Ryan and Greg Maddux, are on my team, too, along with Randy Johnson and Tom Seaver. Former Reds pitcher and now White Sox scout Billy Scherrer just missed making my team – by about 12 miles.

Q: Why doesn’t anybody hit a Texas Leaguer any more? — Charlie, Indianapolis.

A: Oh, fear not. Texas Leaguers are hit in nearly every game. The problem is that announcers don’t call them Texas Leaguers any more. They call them bloop hits or excuse-me hits. A Texas Leaguer is a pop fly that falls for a hit just out of the reach of a fleeing infielder and just in front of a charging outfielder. There are many theories as to why a bloop hit is called a Texas Leaguer, but the best I can find is that breezes in Texas play havoc with pop flies so somebody dropped the name Texas Leaguer on pop fly hits. In my time it was about the only way I could get a hit.

Q: How could you pick a lineup of Detroit Tigers in Ernie Harwell’s era to face Joe Nuxhall’s Reds without including Fred Scherman, who is from Dayton and is my brother-in-law. — Rick, Springboro.

A: I love Fred Scherman and run into him now and then. What’s my out? I only picked a starting pitcher (Jack Morris) and didn’t pick a bullpen guy, which Scherman was. And he was lights out in the ’pen, my first guy behind Morris (if Morris needed bullpen help). And now you can ask for that loan from your brother-in-law.

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