Commentary: Mangold might shave  in 2012

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By Brian Kollars, Staff Writer 10:19 PM Saturday, December 31, 2011

It’s about time to kick the Christmas tree to the curb. I was going to take care of that task Saturday, but I couldn’t tear myself away from the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl. I think one of my 2012 resolutions will be to turn the channel when two six-win teams take the field in a bowl game. Here are some things that 10 of our favorite sports figures are considering:

Nick Mangold: The Jets’ easy-going center and Centerville native will at least think about trimming his beard, which resembles an unruly haystack. If he can’t find a razor, Mangold could start a ZZ Top cover band and get on the Fraze’s summer calendar.

Tu Holloway: The Xavier superstar promises to talk trash to the Red Scare when the Musketeers visit UD Arena on Jan. 21. I can’t wait to see what those crazy kids have planned for the gangsters from the Queen City.

Aroldis Chapman: The Reds’ promising Cuban fireballer will work to control his pitches like Greg Maddux and win the NL Cy Young Award.

Archie Miller: UD’s promising young basketball coach will learn to relax a little and smile. Those forced grins on that McAfee commercial are painful to watch.

Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Everyone’s favorite NASCAR star will not run over any Buckeyes or Gators when he drives his stock car onto the field for the Gator Bowl coin flip.

Julius Mays: Wright State’s best shooter promises to take at least 20 shots per game. The Indiana native has a sweet jumper because, well, he’s from Indiana.

Jerome Simpson: The wide receiver/gymnast will fulfill his potential and distance himself from hangers-on who might be receiving strange packages in the mail.

Brian Gregory: Stop scheduling Atlantic 10 schools. BG couldn’t beat them when he was at UD, a trend that has continued at Georgia Tech. The Ramblin’ Wreck was 0-2 versus the A-10 this season, losing to Saint Joseph’s and Fordham.

Kevin Durant: Do whatever it takes to prevent the Miami Heat from winning the NBA title. I’m getting nauseous just thinking about that trophy presentation.

Urban Meyer: Well, that family time resolution is shot. Gordon Gee joked that Jim Tressel might “dismiss” Ohio State’s president. Maybe Meyer can put that on his list, right under “Beat Michigan.”

Contact this reporter at (937) 225-2163 or bkollars@DaytonDailyNews.com.

Knucklehead  of the week

Boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr. will ring in 2012 by packing his bags for jail. Pretty Boy (a bad nickname for someone headed to the clink) will pay his debt to society for knocking around his ex-girlfriend more than a year ago. Mayweather has enjoyed a couple of recent victories, though. He avoided jail time for poking a security guard in the face during an argument and reportedly won $1 million by wagering on the Patriots in their rout of the Broncos.

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