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How mothers made women who they are

Contributed photo Bessie Bush Bols' sense of humor inspires her daughter, Bonnie Farmer. Here Bols is dressed up like an opera singer.

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handout Gretchen Henrich and her mother, Earla Henrich

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handout Kathy Rice and her mom, Jean Deppen-Wills

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Daughters pay tribute to never-ending bond

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Submitted Rita Moore Tilton and Lucy Consolino Moore

By Meredith Moss, Staff Writer Updated 6:24 PM Sunday, May 10, 2009

One of the lessons that I learned from my mom, one that I don’t think she even intended as a lesson, was imparted one day in an ordinary conversation about her life. I am the fifth of 10 children, almost all of us just a year apart. My brother is a year and a half younger than I. She said, “I think that was the year that your father and I barely spoke.”

Being young and unmarried, I found the idea surprising that you could have that kind of strife in a marriage and then go on to celebrate 55 happy years together. She said there are always going to be ups and downs in any relationship and she had five children to think of.

Her story stayed with me. While I was ecstatically in love with my husband on our wedding day, I entered marriage with stars in my eyes but very realistic expectations that there may be days, weeks, maybe months where I won’t feel that way. And even so we will find our way back to the love that brought us together.

My husband and I have been married for 23 years now, and all 10 of her children are still married to their first spouse.

Thanks, Mom.

— Susan Lehrer, Centerville

My mother, Lorraine Guerra, has taught me so many things over the past 52 years I can’t begin to name them all. Not by telling me, but by setting an example.

I think the most important life lesson she has taught me is her outstanding work ethic. Mom is a retired RN who spent her entire career at Good Samaritan Hospital. She carried out her duties as a nursing supervisor with a calm and professional demeanor.

It was easy to tell during the times I’d drop in and see her, or pick her up for one reason or another, that she was liked and respected by the people she worked with.

I do not remember her ever taking a sick day or staying home because she was tired, or “just because.” She’d work, come home, fix dinner and fit in a couple of chores without missing a beat.

She would tell us about things that had happened while she was on duty, or interesting people that she would encounter. Sometimes it wouldn’t sound so pretty, or glamorous, or actually like anything that I’d want to be around, but she wasn’t complaining. Just telling us like it was.

This outstanding work ethic carried over into our family life. Mom always had “it” covered, be it a baby sitter; a back-up baby sitter; dropping off or picking up kids; family gatherings, housework, yard work, etc. She also made sure that our friends felt welcome and more importantly at the time, that snacks were always readily available.

There are times too numerous to mention that I find myself asking, how in the world did she do it? With five kids and the ever-present family dog, her abundant supply of patience came in handy, I’m sure.

The older I get, the more I realize just how much she has done and continues to do. I am so lucky that she’s my mother and so lucky to call her my best friend.

— Terry Guerra, Englewood

My mom has taught me how to give and not expect to receive. She is being honored by Grandview Hospital for volunteering over 6,000 hours. I can’t remember a time when my mom was not involved with some type of volunteer project. She and my Dad (he passed away in 1986 from cancer) were Scout leaders — both for Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts. She was involved with the PTA when I was in school and even for some time after I graduated and headed off to college. She currently volunteers at Grandview Hospital making the mesh crosses that are available in the chapel. Before her knee replacement surgery she delivered mail at Grandview. She has had both knees replaced but that has not slowed her down too much. She is the president of the Senior Citizen’s Club at Stuart-Patterson Park, where she keeps the seniors going.

— Gretchen Henrich, East Dayton

My mother’s life has served as an example to me for my whole life. Compassion, kindness and generosity: These are a few of the characteristics that exemplify the life my mother has lived for almost 80 years. When I am faced with difficult choices or decisions, my first reaction is to ask myself, “What would Mom do?”

I have warm memories of Mom’s tutoring many inner-city children. She would spend hours preparing lessons and activities, specifically tailored for each child. She has hosted foreign visitors and exchange students (as recently as last month!) planning the visit to maximize each visitor’s experience of our culture. I recall her pouring many glasses of ice-water for a hot and thirsty garbage collector or mail carrier, of her packing a home-cooked, multicourse meal for an elderly neighbor, of her kind words of encouragement for a grieving friend. She has even designed and cross-stitched a picture paraphrasing Socrates’ statement, “I would rather suffer than do injustice.”

— Jenny Berkshire, Kettering

My mother is my best friend! She has taught me so much about life and family. It is very hard to pick the most important life lesson.

She was diagnosed seven years ago with mouth cancer. For four years she went through terrible surgeries. She never gave up. I did not know what strength she had. To this day, she is caring, loving and doing great. My slogan is live life to its fullest and be ready to meet your maker!

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