Posted: 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, April 16, 2013
In today's modern NFL, it's hard for teams to play at a high level for an extended period of time. The teams that are consistently good year in and year out manage to do so by expertly analyzing talent. They draft well, rarely make costly blunders in the free agent market, and seem to know when it's time to let a player go. Sure, having a franchise quarterback like Tom Brady certainly helps, but the Ravens have also managed to stay competitive finishing with a winning record in 10 of their last 13 seasons and have 2 Super Bowl victories despite having many different quarterbacks.
But with every yin there is a yang. For every Sonny there's a Cher. For every Tebow there's...someone who's the opposite of Tebow. Rex Ryan maybe? WWTD. What would Tebow do? I suppose he'd show up to workouts an hour and a half early while people have awkward small talk with him trying not to state the obvious. Come on Jets, bring in Donald Trump already so he can break the news to him.
So who is the yin to the Patriots yang? It's the Buffalo Bills. It takes real effort to miss the playoffs for 13 straight years. Even the Browns have been to the playoffs more recently than the Bills. The Browns! If the NFL had allowed 8 teams from each conference to make the playoffs instead of the usual 6, the Bills STILL would have missed the playoffs in each of the last 13 seasons. They only time they've had a winning record over that stretch of time was in 2004 when they finished 9-7, good enough for 9th place in the AFC. If you added up all the meaningless games they've played it would be equal to almost two full seasons, and that's not even including the next to meaningless games they've played where only a miracle could have saved their season. I hear Tebow might be available soon.
Isn't it bad enough the Bills play in the rust belt with brutally cold winters in a decrepit stadium? Isn't it bad enough what Buffalo is most famous for are tiny little fried chicken legs slathered in sauce and horrible sweat pants? Throw in the phrase "wide right" and having to play a "home" game every year in Toronto and I'm surprised they haven't made "Gloomy Sunday" the city's official song:
Gloomy is Sunday,
With shadows I spend it all
My heart and I
Have decided to end it all
Soon there'll be candles
And prayers that are said I know
Let them not weep
Let them know that I'm glad to go
Yeesh , that's depressing. The Bills have gotten here the old fashioned way, by being totally inept in their hiring of coaches to GMs to drafting to free agent signings. They didn't fire their GM, although they did take away some of his authority, but QB Ryan Fitzpatrick and head coach Chan Gaily are now both gone. Is Kevin Kolb an improvement over Fitzpatrick? Will ex-Syracuse head coach Doug Marrone be able to get things turned around? Hold on while I ask my Magic 8 Ball: Reply hazy, try again. Funny, I get that same answer every year with the Bills.
M-E-S-S! Mess! Mess! Mess!
A few months ago retiring Jets special teams coach Mike Westhoff said this about the Tim Tebow situation:
"It was a mess, it was an absolute mess. You can say whatever else you want, it was really a mess," Westhoff said. "I was very, very disappointed. As an NFL quarterback, he's very limited in some things. And if you throw him right in the middle of a drop-back passing offense, he will look very, very average at best. But if you incorporate him in different facets of your offense, I think he can be a factor. That's what I felt we were going to do, but we never did it."
So you're saying it was a mess. I don't understand why they were so surprised when they watched him in practice. It's not like there wasn't a lot of game film on Tebow available to watch. They even played against Tebow the year before they traded for him and watched him look like crap for 55 minutes before winning it all in the closing minutes. So...what were they surprised about exactly?
Now Tebow is hanging around training camp making an awkward situation even more uncomfortable. Kind of like when the guy standing right next to you in the elevator farts and you both stand there going up 10 more floors pretending like it never happened even though the elevator is starting to reek of rotten cabbage.
No team seems willing to offer anything for Tebow, and the Jets aren't going to pay him $3 million this season to be their third-string QB. So just cut the guy already. Let him see if he can at least sign with another team.
And if it wasn't enough that the Jets completely botched this whole situation, now their trade talks with the Bucs for Darrelle Revis have died out. The Jets have to know the Bucs aren't going to give Revis's true value in a trade since they're the only ones interested. They also must know Revis won't be giving any hometown discounts and will walk if the Jets don't meet his contract demands. Then again this is the Jets so who knows what they're thinking. They're like a kid in a marching band who's out of step with everyone and is insisting it's everyone else who's marching on the wrong foot.
Boston Marathon Explosion
If there's one thing humans are really good at, it's being complete douchebags towards other humans. It's like we have it down to an art form. We've perfected douchbaggery through countless years of evolution. But we've also perfected the ability to help complete strangers in their hour of need. We're capable of heroic acts of bravery and kindness towards people we've never met before in our life. Both were on full display after two bombs killed 3 people and injured 170 more. It's the duality of mankind. We have the ability to be both horrible and wonderful at the same time. I applaud all those who were heroes that day.