The Adobe Flash Player is required to view this multimedia interactive. Get it here.

News Summary

TEEN SHORT STORY CONTEST: Honorable Mention

'Santa's a fathead'

By Stone Schneider

13, Springboro

Friday, July 06, 2007

>> Read more Short Story Contest winners and honorable mention winners

Extras

This is a not so sweet little Tale about a smallish elf named Rusty. Rusty was a pint sized elf who wore a normal, green, elf wardrobe. He had large bucked teeth and red hair that was covered by a heavy, orange, pointy, oversized hat that most of the elves in his department wore. He didn't have many friends and he lived in a small barn.

"Everyone gather round." Rusty shouted to his allies. His allies were not the kind of allies you would technically see in a war, in fact, you would most likely see them in the kitchen. They were chickens. Rusty was in charge of the chicken barn. The chicken barn was created when Santa's lifetime supply of Twinkies expired and Santa was determined not to waste them, so he ate them, got really sick and gained seven hundred pounds. Now Santa is allergic to Twinkies and is extraordinarily fat but he still saves the Twinkies the in the attic of his castle. The Twinkies are his only weakness. He uses the chickens and there eggs to feed him and his elves.

"Okay guys," Rusty said to the poultry in a commanding voice "Santa's gonna be here in one hour, and if we don't have two hundred and twenty nine eggs, one of you is gonna be sittin' on a platter, smothered in barbeque sauce, waitin' to be eatin' by the fathead."

He heard the sounds of gasps, the fluttering of many wings flapping in effort, and also the plops of eggs pushing out of about ninety worn out chickens fearing for their lives. He doesn't want to scare them, but the truth is the only way to get the eggs out of the bunch of lazy poultry. Just then, Santa's main elf, Adna, came in with her greasy green hair and grimy, gray face.

"Hello Rusty," Adna bellowed in her scratchy voice "Santa's raised the number of eggs he wants to four hundred."

"What!" Rusty yelled as about four chickens fainted at the thought," he can't do this to us, we've got rights!"

"Rights schmites, he can and he will." Adna screamed with all her might.

"No he ca ..." Rusty couldn't finish his sentence before he heard the barn door slam and she was gone.

"What a jerk," Martin whispered in his squeaky little voice. Martin was Rusty's best friend, Had a large will to live , and a chicken. Martin was in a severe reindeer accident, and he almost was almost destroyed. He remained immobile and in critical condition for months before Rusty came in and stitched him up. He no longer trusts anything or anyone except for Rusty

"What are we gonna do?" Cindy, a young chick, said in a soft, sweet voice.

"Were bustin' out," Rusty stated "tonight, six thirty, no matter what, no quack gets left behind. Rusty heard a mix of confused clucks and eggs being laid out of excitement.

"What say you!" Martin blurted

"I say we go," Rusty shouted for all the barn to hear. "Why not? We have been tortured too long, and what do we do? Take it! What are we animals!"

"Yup." Bubba, the tubby comedian chicken, blurted out and then the whole room bursted into roaring laughter.

"Shut it Bubba," Martin added, "I want to leave and never come back. Lets have a vote, who wants to go." All but Bubba wanted to go. "So its settled," Martin yelled giggling "We leave six thirty tonight and whoever doesn't come gets to get up close and personal with Santa's insides, that means you Bubba. That frightened Bubba and caused him to beg to go. Reluctantly, Rusty and martin let their least favorite quack come and the chicks laid the eggs while Rusty and martin made the preparations for their big move.

It started in the barn. During Adna's routine egg pickup Rusty and martin kidnapped her and tied the jerk up. They then took her candy cane lightsaber, which Rusty changed the color to blue, and a peppermint grenade.

"This time you're the one in captivity," Martin said with little compassion " so, how does it feel to be in the barn." All she could do was wiggle helplessly. It was almost humorous watching her squirm.

After a short period of gloating, Rusty and his army of poultry left in search of freedom. They made it to the main gates of the North Pole and found it locked.

"Dang! This walls strong!" Bubba said after several attempts to break it down.

There was only one way out and they needed a key to get through those monstrous gates, a key that only one man holds. Santa, the only reason they were here in the first place. "We have to fight him," Rusty said disappointed, "we have to steal those keys."

Marvin led the way slowly and silently as night covered the sky like a purple blanket. He held the blueberry lightsaber close to his chest while Rusty stayed in the back and kept the stragglers moving along, armed with only a radio and a peppermint grenade. Not too far from the castle did two elves with a wheelbarrow happen to walk by at the worst time possible. They startled Marvin and he came hacking and slashing.

"Kayyyyyeeeeehh" Marvin screamed as he slashed and hacked and chopped until he felt satisfied with himself. Rusty ran up and saw two elves, cowering in fear on the ground, and a wheelbarrow next to a million tiny pieces of hat scattered all over the ground.

"Waaaahhhhhhhhhh!" both of the elves screamed as they dropped all of the supplies in their wheelbarrow and ran towards the doors to the castle.

THWUMP! The gates to the castle closed quicker than a squirrel in a shark tank. Rusty almost gave up but at that very moment, Bubba yelled, " Look an open window." And he and all the other chicks took all the green candy cane lightsabers in the wheelbarrow and took off towards the window. Only one was left behind. A yellow one. "Butterscotch." Rusty said as he slowly jogged towards the castle.

As he took his first steps through the window, he saw the damage of the pandemonium that went on. The same elves who ran inside after Marvin's little over reaction were laying on the floor with chicken footprints covering them from head to toe. He felt a little sad and felt like helping them until he remembered that they were enemy. There was only one chicken in the room and he was moaning and grunting. Rusty ran over to his side and saw it was Bubba. He looked mildly bruised but in good shape.

"What happened?" Rusty asked.

"I got trampled." Bubba replied.

"Come on," Rusty Commanded " Yer coming with me, Bubba."

"Alright." Bubba said reluctantly in a mumble.

They continued in the other direction than the others. "We'll cover more ground that way." Rusty said and Bubba agreed after much complaining.

In the dining room they encountered at least ten elves armed with forks, knives, and ofher condiments. Bubba and his lightsaber took out half where my peppermint grenade finished them off in a red fog. We werent hurt but I got mustard on my green coat. Just then we heard a loud thwump that ended our celebrations. We heard it again and again. It was coming from the kitchen, and I knew who it was. Santa The fathead.

We Slowly left the dining room lightsabres ready for combat. Bubba looked pumped, while Rusty was hesitant about the ordeal. He knows what can happen when challenging a man Santa's size. Bubba was a larger chicken and he was muscular. Rusty was glad he had the help of Bubba because Rusty couldn't do it alone.

They entered the kitchen to find who else, but Santa Claus with a giant, two sided, peppermint lightsaber waiting for them.

"Hello Rusty," Santa cackled as he spoke "weird finding you here in the castle, don't barns suit you better?"

"Shut up fatty" Bubba bellowed before I could.

"Is that you Marvin?" Santa said cruelly "You've grown some muscles but you are still the same dumb animal that comet almost slaughtered."

"No, This is Bubba, and I'm not Marvin," Bubba screamed angrily. Just then he charged at Santa with all of his might and attempted to cut his grimy beard off, but Santa grabbed him by his legs and threw him into the alcove where he lay out of breath and bruised. After witnessing these events he did the only thing he could think of ... He ran.

He ran into the library, the main hall, even the master bedroom with Santa never far behind. In the Bedroom he climbed the ladder into the attack fearing for his life. He ran around looking for a hiding spot. He found one under a brown round table. Santa thundered into the room and he yelled "I know your in here." He smashed a chair and repeated the phrase louder and louder every time he said it while destroying boxes and chairs. I then made the decision. I was going to attempt to stab him. I turned the lightsaber on and charged at him.

I missed.

I ran head on into a closet. My lightsaber wouldn't get loose! It was stuck! At that very moment Santa ran up and threw me against a wall. And he did it again and again over and over again until I hit the utility closet my lightsaber was jammed in so hard, the doors shattered. And you wouldn't guess what poured out of the cabinet.

Twinkies.

Thousands of Twinkies Pouring into Rusty's lap. Smelly rotten Twinkies.

Santa then charged at Rusty and Rusty did the best thing he could. He threw a Twinkie into Santa's open mouth. And the most peculiar thing happened.

He swallowed the Twinkie with much dislike. Then he coughed twice and slowly backed up closer and closer to an open window. He dropped the keys to the gate. His eyes rolled over and fell out the window. Seventeen stories down. Thwump. The sound of a fat man hitting the ground at high speeds. A long awkward silence followed. For a moment I felt at ease. "Rusty, come on, the castles on fire!" Bubba yelled at me from the hall. Rusty ran out of the attic with his lightsaber at hand. He kept running, passing elves and chickens who have lost their lives. He got to the room with the open window to see fire everywhere steaming remains of the deceased lay he ran through the flames to the window where he leaped.

He saw three things: The disturbing image of Santa crushed into the ground, Three reindeer on the loose, and the chickens that survived. "How's it goin, champ?" Bubba said in a sad tone. "We have some bad news. Martin kind of didn't make it."

"What do ya mean" Rusty asked.

"He was hit with a peppermint bomb and his chances of surviving were low so we left him behind. Rusty then started to sob." It will be all right, buddy."

"Lets just go," Rusty said, still sobbing "we got the keys lets go."

"Alrighty then" Bubba said as they moved on. Rusty took one last look at the castle and saw a dark shady figure in the midst of the flames. It had a beak and was limping in an uncommon matter. Rusty Knew who it was. The figure came closer. He reeked of peppermint and he was holding a blue candy cane lightsaber. He was a chicken with a will to live.

>> Read more Short Story Contest winners and honorable mention winners

Breaking news by e-mail

Start your day with top headlines in your inbox and get breaking news e-mail alerts at any time by subscribing to our Headlines e-mail newsletter.

See Sample | Privacy Policy

From our partners at WHIO-TV

Top video story



From our partners at WHIO Radio


Copyright © Sat Jul 04 22:39:56 EDT 2009 Cox Ohio Publishing, Dayton, Ohio, USA. All rights reserved.

By using this site, you accept the terms of our Visitors Agreement and Privacy Policy. You may wish to note our other business policies.