Life

Lions and tigers and bears ... (yawn). Try a toddler, a tween and a teen — oh my.

Toddlers can be tough, tweens a challenge, and teens, well they can be downright exasperating. I have the fortune of having one of each under my roof at the same time. And I'm not alone.

According to the American Blended Family Association, approximately 2,100 new blended families are formed daily in this country accounting for more than 20 million such households. With an ever-growing number of second marriages and blended families, age spans that include first teeth and first-time drivers are not unusual, but they can be grueling.

"I don't know if any one age is more challenging than another. There are just different challenges," said Dr. William Klykylo, director of the Wright State University Boonshoft School of Medicine, Division of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.

Toddlers

From their first shaky steps across the living room floor to the first time they bolt away from you and through the mall, toddlers present a never-ending set of challenges. Pushing, biting and toy snatching, while they may make a shame-riddled parent want to hide, are all normal toddler behaviors.

Limited language can also add to the frustration on both the toddler's and the parent's part. A string of unrecognizable babble that results in little more than a placating smile can push a strong-willed 18-month-old over the edge. Take away the cell phone that she nabbed from your purse and a full-fledged tantrum — that starts with yelling and ends up with her flailing around on the grocery store floor — might ensue. Try confining them in a stroller or shopping cart — I dare you.

The answer? Patience and love.

"Toddlers — they are who they are. You need to give them a lot of love and a lot of limits," Klykylo said. "And you need to accept the fact that when you say 'no' and nothing changes, that developmentally that's where they are."

And with a heart-melting smile and golden ringlets encircling her round little head, it's hard to stay angry with my egocentric little angel, even when she tries to scale the stove like an experienced rock climber or drop her big brother's cell phone into the dog's water bowl.

Tweens

This is a unique segment, one that didn't have a trendy name, as far as I know, when I would have been one of them. Tweens are preadolescents, generally between the ages of 9-12.

"Most people think the tween years are somewhat easier, but many times these kids are overloaded and overstimulated," Klykylo said. "Helping them modulate all the pressure of their lives — academically, socially, athletically — is so important. Some kids have to have an appointment book to get through the week."

No longer little kids but not yet teens, they frequently would trade in their childhood toys for M-rated video games. They don't bat an eye at PG-13 movies and think nothing of trying to watch an R-rated flick with their big brother.

"They have already probably been exposed to sexual stimuli, drugs and alcohol," Klykylo said. "And that's important to be aware of."

The tweens are digital natives and well connected at an early age. A 2007 Nielsen survey reported that 35 percent of tweens own a mobile phone and 20 percent use text messaging. They download music, regularly access the Internet and spend time on sites like YouTube and MySpace.com.

Not becoming disconnected from you is as important as monitoring all of their other connections.

Teens

Having watched one of my babies edge closer and closer to becoming a man has been bittersweet. I miss the days of cuddling with him on the couch and holding his hand while I walked him into school for his first day of kindergarten. Now, as he towers over me and mumbles in a deep almost-grown-up voice, I realize how far we both have come. But with that growth comes many challenges.

Teens can be distant, moody, stressed and under a lot of pressure. From sex to smoking to drinking, the negative influences are numerous.

The key at this age is communication. But it's not just what you say — it's also how you say it.

Kids can be very interested in their parents' experiences if it's not presented in the form of a lecture. I'm a professor and I love lecturing, but it doesn't work at home.

For all the long hours and trials and tribulations, from potty training to driver's training, there's nothing better than the enthusiastic hug of your toddler or the elusive kiss from your tween or teen.

Mom to Mom

Area moms talk about raising toddlers, tweens and teens:

Toddlers

"You can't dupe a 3-year-old. It's impossible; just forget it. They are onto us. I'm amazed by just how much they remember."

— Teresa (Kettering)

mother of Max, 7, and Gus, 3

"Parenting, especially at this age, is trial and error every day. One thing works one day, and the next day it doesn't. They like to mess with you that way."

— Gina (Dayton)

mother of Gabriel, 4, and Elias, 2

Tweens

"It's OK to be your kids' friend, but I think they want boundaries, and it's important for them to know that you are the parent — you are the boundary. That creates a sense of security."

— Lisa (Beavercreek)

mother of Audrey, 13, and Steven, 10

"I want my tween to be exposed to lots of things, try out different sports or artistic activities now before they start to feel more awkward as teens. Take advantage of the confidence they have as an early tween."

—Donna (Beavercreek)

mother of Taylor, 18, and Karina, 8

Teens

"My saving grace was keeping a sense of humor, because they certainly will test you at every turn. If you can survive until they move out, you can survive anything."

— Julie (West Milton)

still surviving Nate, 20; Nicole, 18; and Nick, 16

"At some point, they'd stop talking to you, and you have to let that go. If I ever wanted them to open up, I would take them with me in the car. They were stuck with me, and I couldn't even see them rolling their eyes because they were beside me."

— Valerie (Tipp City)

mother of Robert, 23; Richard, 21; and Will, 18