A holiday call for random acts of kindness

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By Dr. Marjorie Baker, Contributing Writer 11:52 AM Saturday, December 3, 2011

When is the last time you did something really nice for a total stranger where no one knew it but you and the great feeling you got inside as a result was entirely enough? If ever there was a time for giving, sharing and spreading holiday love and cheer, the time is now.

‘Tis the season for doing just a little bit extra and for going the extra mile to make someone’s experience of the holidays a little brighter. Who wouldn’t want to jump on board for this fun, exciting, and personally gratifying challenge?

This month’s column is simply a community call for everyone to perform at least one random act of kindness between now and Dec. 25. We’re going to talk about how you can participate and do something special, whether large or small, to make a difference.

Let’s start by examining what a random act of kindness is, what it involves and how it can be carried out.

I once heard it said that “Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something.” So, first and foremost, a random act of kindness is something that literally everybody can do. It may or may not involve money, but it most certainly does not have to.

The whole point of performing a random act of kindness is to do something nice for someone where you want absolutely nothing in return in terms of recognition or accolades. The sole and only purpose is to do a good thing for someone else that garners no recognition whatsoever for yourself.

In my point of view, the best and most effective random acts of kindness are those that are done entirely anonymously for someone that you don’t know and who doesn’t know you or at least someone who cannot identify you as the giver of the gift they have received. Something that brings a smile to someone’s face and at the same time reminds them that indeed there are good people in the world who enjoy doing nice things for someone else with no hope or desire of receiving any type of personal praise. It is an act of selfless giving that is performed “just because.”

A good example of this would be paying the turnpike toll for the two or three cars behind you and asking the attendant not to share which car, now long gone, paid it for them.

This holiday season, let’s make it a point to look for and take advantage of opportunities right before our eyes where little or no real effort on our part could make a difference in spreading joy to someone else.

There are countless opportunities to perform acts of kindness on a daily basis if you are on the lookout for them. Some cost money but most just cost a minute or two of your time and a giving heart. And you can pick and choose a random act of kindness that excites and fulfills you the most. Here are a few ideas for ways that you can easily make a stranger or someone in need smile:

• That shopper carrying a lot of bags that would appreciate someone opening a door for him or her.

• A person carrying a lot of bags who drops them and would appreciate a helping hand in picking them up.

• The extra short person on the airplane who is having trouble getting that carry-on luggage lifted up and securely stowed in the overhead compartment until you unbuckle your seat belt and get up to take care of it.

• That elderly and/or home bound person on a fixed income who really can’t afford to pay someone to shovel his or her snow, so you just do it for them.

• Gift wrap a few nice toiletries that anyone could use, take them to a local nursing home and ask the social worker to distribute them to residents who rarely, if ever, have visitors and are not likely to get any Christmas gifts.

• When you get that next latte at Starbucks or that next emerald treasure smoothie at Natural Foods Plus health food store, pay in advance for the next 1, 2 or 3 people that come in to get one.

• Don’t say “call me if you need me” to a person who you know for sure has a need. Find out what they need and just do it.

• At a venue where parking spots are hard to find, give another driver the spot you could have claimed for yourself.

• Donate some warm blankets, used or new, to the homeless shelter during the cold winter months.

The opportunities are endless. If you are aware of the needs around you, and looking for opportunities to help, I can almost guarantee that you will find them. And, you will be surprised at how many times you will cross paths with people that you can assist in some small but helpful way.

If none of the above opportunities present themselves, you can always offer a genuine, heartfelt smile to a stranger and wish him or her a happy holiday season.

A few things to keep in mind when contemplating performing random acts of kindness:

The goal is not for the “giver” to be glorified or to get adoration from others for doing a kind deed. Instead, the goal is to highlight, in the purest sense, what the true “act of giving from the heart” really is all about.

As you contemplate what random act(s) of kindness you would like to carry out, please ensure that, in the interest of being anonymous, you don’t overlook any anxiety or discomfort that a recipient might experience as a result of your good intentions. For instance, if you think that sending a gift card or a monetary gift to someone anonymously might result in the recipient feeling concerned about or overly curious about who the sender is, or how much they know about his/her situation, and why they feel the need to make their gift anonymous, I would caution you not to do it. If it causes any concern or discomfort at all for the recipient, the purpose would be defeated.

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