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College dreams may turn into nightmares for working-class parents

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4:00 PM Thursday, June 11, 2009

By Mr. Mom

A long, long time ago, in a big city far, far away, I went to a place called Harvard.

How I got there I have no idea, except that in those days — the early 1970s — Ivy League recruiters were much more serious about achieving “regional diversity,” seeking out even small city Midwestern boys like myself.

I can’t say that my happiest years were spent at Harvard. Even the dinner table conversation there was driven by a degree of competitiveness you’d be hard-pressed to match anywhere outside a corporate boardroom.

Nor can I say that a Harvard diploma did much for my career, especially with the grizzled managing editor at The Kentucky Post who refused to hire me right out of college “because you Ivy League boys are afraid to get your hands dirty.”

But I did get a terrific education, for which I’m grateful, and a thirst for knowledge that has stayed with me all my life.

Flash forward nearly 40 years from my freshman year to a Cincinnati hotel, where I’m listening along with 300 other parents to a recruitment presentation by a consortium of Ivy League schools.

I’m not there because I want my oldest daughter to follow in my footsteps, nor because I think Ivy League schools are the only schools where you can get a first-class education. I’m there because my daughter, for whatever reason, dreams of attending a particular Ivy League institution whose name I won’t reveal (no, not Harvard and, thank goodness, not Yale).

The numbers being bandied about by the five presenters are mind-boggling. The cost of a year of schooling? About $50,000, or nearly 7 times what it was those many years ago when I could pay 33 cents to pump a gallon of gas into my brother Tom’s old Plymouth. Anywhere from 14 to 11 students apply for every admission. Average entrance scores are somewhere in the ionosphere.

The financial aid portion of the program is the scariest. My expected contribution would likely force me and my two younger children into a trailer park while my daughter went off to an ivy-covered suite with a fireplace and latticed windows.

I’m not alone. I see other parents shaking their heads in dismay. A survey released this week by the National Association for College Admission Counseling found that 71 percent of high schools reported more of their students are foregoing their “dream schools” this year than in previous years. And there’s little doubt money is a big reason.

Back when Harvard came calling in 1970, scholarships, grants and low-interest government loans were plentiful. Today they can’t keep pace with soaring costs. Ivy League schools have once again become the privilege of the rich.

Even so, I suppose I will see this through to its end. I can’t refuse to pursue for my own children what was once given to me.

And if my daughter’s dream doesn’t come true, I can always quote to her from a “classic rock” tune popular on campuses in my day: “You can’t always get you want, but if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need.”

Contact this reporter at (937) 225-2437 or jdebrosse@DaytonDailyNews.com.

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