Commentary: With every ending, there is the possibility of a new, better beginning

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By Daryn Kagan 10:14 AM Saturday, April 9, 2011

“Political correspondent Jeff Greenfield leaving CBS News!” the headlines blared on the TV news insider blogs.

This week also brought me news of a CNN executive leaving her job after 24 years. Then, I see on Facebook that a “friend,” distant acquaintance, really, who was a senior corporate vice president, is out looking for work. Another friend faces a high-profile divorce.

Two things always happen to me when I see someone facing big loss.

First, I get a pang in my gut. I know what it feels like to lose so much. I ended a relationship with someone I loved very much and found out CNN wouldn’t be renewing my contract all within two weeks of each other. Gotta say, that wasn’t the most fun time of my life. It felt like the biggest things I called myself instantly went away. Like someone took a wrecking ball to what was my life. So, I know what it is to feel loss.

But after the empathetic pang for those facing loss, I smile. Yes, smile. See, I know it’s possible, if you seize the invitation to grow and really “get it,” losing makes everything going forward so much richer.

You get to see that we really are not any these titles we love to cloak ourselves in. Fancy job title, someone’s spouse, even someone’s parent. It’s easier to see that once they go, you’re still here. The title is not.

I also smile because I know that losing something or someone you cherish makes room for new things and titles to come in.

My beau, Mr. SummerFest (Yes, love showed up again after heartbreak. Funny how that works.), his daughter and I were recently on vacation with another family when I overheard the kids talking about me.

“She writes books,” they explained to one of the cousins. “And she writes for a newspaper column, but not the comics or the action stuff,” they summed up. Pretty good. I’m trying to figure out how I fit all that on my business card. And I smile again because I know without the CNN chapter going away, there wouldn’t have been room for this professional chapter, or even more importantly, this family chapter.

So I smile for those losing something big. After they have their “sad,” there will be space for new jobs, new titles, new possibilities. The new ones will be even sweeter because this time around you know that nothing is forever. Everything has a beginning, middle and an end. You get to appreciate wonderful jobs and loving people while they are here, as the gifts that they are, rather than as things that define you.

It’s why I will be sending an email to Jeff Greenfield and my other friends facing transitions. Each time the subject line reads, “Congratulations! ”

Maybe this could even be an email to you or someone you know. In fact I wish they had something like this on Evite. What if it’s possible that loss isn’t the end of your world? Is it possible it’s simply an invitation to grow and step into a new exciting chapter of your life? Just imagine if you RSVPed, “Yes!” to that.

Daryn Kagan is the creator and host of DarynKagan.com, an online community that features a daily webcast of inspirational stories. The former CNN anchor and news reporter is the author of “What’s Possible! 50 True Stories of People Who Dared To Dream They Could Make a Difference.”

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