D.L. Stewart: Sometimes lawsuits are nothing but gas

Staff photo by Chris Stewart D.L. Stewart, Dayton Daily News contributing columnist.

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By D.L. Stewart, Staff Writer Updated 10:53 AM Wednesday, January 11, 2012

In the court of public opinion the trial would have been over before it started.

According to the pretrial publicity, it was Defenseless Buyer v. Deceptive Seller. Customer v. Corporation. David v. Goliath. A slam-dunk verdict.

Unless, of course, you’ve ever heard the phrase “caveat emptor,” which is Latin for “don’t believe everything you read on a new car’s sticker.”

Heather Peters is suing American Honda Motor Co. because, she says, the 2006 hybrid Civic she bought didn’t deliver the 50 miles per gallon mileage she expected. Instead, she declares, it was getting 41 or 42 mpg “on its best day.”

So she’s claiming false advertising and seeking $10,000 in compensation.

In its defense, Honda pointed out that the mileage figures posted on the sticker actually are compiled from controlled tests by the EPA, not the manufacturer.

“We have no choice,” a spokesman said. “We have to put the figures on the label.”

And Peters, a former attorney, apparently didn’t read the sticker’s not-so-fine print, which states, “Your actual mileage will vary depending on how you drive and maintain your vehicle.”

“The sales force said 50 miles per gallon, but they didn’t say if you run your air conditioning and you remain in stop-and-go traffic, you’re going to get 29 to 30 miles per gallon,” she argued. Peters, incidentally, lives in Los Angeles, where stop-and-go traffic is known to happen and air conditioning is occasionally called for.

But perhaps the dealer should have posted a large sign in the showroom window that said, “Unless you always drive exactly 40 miles an hour, nonstop, downhill, with the wind at your back, you may not achieve the same mileage.”

Don’t get me wrong. I like to see the fat cats squirm as much as the next guy. I’d love to stick it to my insurance company, which never has seen a medical claim it couldn’t disallow. I’d take no end of pleasure if my bank ran into problems because of the ticky-tacky charges it levies.

But as much as I’d like to root for the underdog, I’m siding with the overdog in this one.

Because most of us realize the sandwich that appears to be 6 inches high in the television commercials will bear little resemblance to the one we’ll get at the drive-through window at Burger-Doodle.

Even the most gullible of us suspects that the smart phone we just bought probably won’t be as simple to operate as the advertisements imply. Or that some infomercials might contain exaggerations.

But maybe Peters was stuck in traffic on the day they taught “caveat emptor” at her law school.

Contact D.L. Stewart at dlstew_2000@yahoo.com.

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