Daryn Kagan: Don’t live in bitterness, look ahead

Dewey Bozella poses backstage with the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage at the ESPY awards on Wednesday, July 13, 2011, in Los Angeles.

AP photo by Dan Steinberg Dewey Bozella poses backstage with the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage at the ESPY awards on Wednesday, July 13, 2011, in Los Angeles.

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By Daryn Kagan, Contributing Writer Updated 12:31 PM Monday, July 18, 2011

“Oooh! You showed him!”

That’s usually the response I get when I share the story of the local news director who told me, “Daryn, in TV there’s this ‘It Factor.’ Some people have it. Some people don’t.” His grand philosophy was followed with the clarification, “Clearly, you don’t have ‘it.’ So would you ever dream of being anything more than a decent news reporter in Phoenix?”

That’s hardly the most encouraging thing a young, ambitious person could hear early in her career. I guess in some ways I did “show” him, as I went onto great success at CNN and am now running my own media company.

There’s only one problem with that theory. I wasn’t looking back. The boss’ lack of encouragement was certainly information that I wasn’t going to be big time at his TV station. I needed to move on.

That memory came flooding back to me the other night as I watched a story on ESPN about a little-known boxer named Dewey Bozella. Little known because Bozella has spent most of the last three decades behind bars doing time for murder. It was a heinous crime Bozella swore he didn’t commit.

He spent his time in prison trying to convince authorities he was telling the truth about his innocence. Meanwhile, he found his release, discipline and salvation in the sport of boxing. Bozella never gave up. It turned him into a champion in the ring. Justice finally prevailed in 2009. Dewey Bozella was a free man.

ESPN showed the news clip of Dewey on the courthouse steps. You could almost write the words you knew would come out of his mouth. About bitterness. About payback. About righting the wrongs that had been done to him. After all, that’s what most of us would have to say, yes?

Not Dewey Bozella. With calmness and grace he simply told the news cameras, “Whatever prosecutors and police did I’m going to let it go because I’m going to move on with my life. If I worry about what they did, I’m never going to get anywhere where I need to go.”

That one statement pierced my heart. “If I worry about what they did, I’m not going to get where I need to go.”

How brilliant is Dewey Bozella? It’s so easy to focus on the boss who let us go, who didn’t see our potential. How long has each of us brewed on an ex who did us wrong?

And then there is Dewey. He gets that each of us only has so much energy each day. You don’t get to pick what happens to you, but you do get to pick where you spend it. That’s where the power is.

Dewey Bozella has some big dreams. He wants to open his own boxing gym, to help kids focus on sports rather than on the distractions and dangers of the streets.

Dewey doesn’t have time to focus on his rear-view mirror. His past has already stolen too much time. His focus is straight ahead to the kids he wants to help.

I understand about driving straight ahead. I didn’t worry too much about that old boss once I made it to the network. Besides, truth is, he ran one very successful news operation. He was probably right. I didn’t have the It for Phoenix, I was destined for bigger things.

There’s no question Dewey Bozella is. What a waste it would be to let the past occupy another moment of his magnificent life.

And what about you? Where’s your energy going? Are you looking back or is there somewhere magnificent you need to be?

Daryn Kagan is the creator and host of DarynKagan.com, an online community that features a daily webcast of inspirational stories. She is the author of “What’s Possible! 50 True Stories of People Who Dared To Dream They Could Make a Difference.”

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