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By Sharon Short, Contributing Writer 5:33 PM Friday, April 16, 2010

That’s the question everyone that I know keeps asking me about the decision our oldest daughter must make by the end of this month.

And the answer is...

I don’t know.

Don’t ask her Dad, either. He doesn’t know.

If you ask her, she won’t know.

Actually, if it turns out she does know, please let us know.

It’s not that she isn’t putting thought into the decision. She is. Lots of it. Lots and lots.

As I’ve mentioned in my column before, a little more than a year ago, she started out with a list of about 60 colleges, narrowed that to 30, cut that to 15 we visited, thinned that to seven to apply to, and now has focused on three to decide amongst.

But only after giving each of those three a second visit.

And looking at a financial spreadsheet.

And doing a detailed pro/con list on each school.

Then, and only then, she says, will she decide.

I’m starting to see why it’s a good thing that she wants to go into a field in which she can use her analytical skills.

The same people who ask what her decision is going to be also tell me I should be pleased that she is being so thorough and careful in her decision-making.

Uh-huh.

None of those folks are the mom living on pins and needles.

The mom who wants to shout: “DECIDE ALREADY!”

Who, for pity’s sake, is itching to buy spiritwear for University of ... Somewhere.

Which, as I describe this to a friend, makes me realize, hmmm ... perhaps there is a way I could speed the decision along.

After all, I already know which of the three schools I’m secretly leaning toward. I should buy spirit wear from the other two schools. Then, I could wear a sweatshirt from ABC University, and sweatpants from LMN University, learn the fight songs of both schools and hum them randomly, quote their sports’ stats and mention prominent graduates from both institutes.

And then, ta da, she’d choose neither of those, but opt for the one I’m secretly rooting for — XYZ University.

After all, this technique has worked for years in influencing my daughters’ clothing choices.

I quickly figured out this Mom secret when my daughters became teens: see a style or clothing trend you would be appalled to see your daughter adopt? Simply point out how cute it is. They’ll roll their eyes and bypass it for some other style. At least half the time, it will be a choice Mom approves of (secretly, of course).

But then, just as I got excited about applying this technique, I walked through the living room and saw our daughter reviewing some information from the colleges she’s deciding amongst. Saw her serious, thoughtful look.

And I reminded myself how lucky she is to have choices.

Making a major decision like this isn’t like picking out an item of clothing. Unlike clothing, it’s not a choice that’s easy to return, change or modify.

Besides, I’m starting to think that by now, both my daughters are onto my “approve of the clothing you hate” technique.

So, I’ll just have to hang in there, wear my usual clothing, go against my usual nature — the urge to voice an adamant opinion — listen more than I talk ... and sometime this month, we’ll find out what she’s decided.

Whatever she decides, I’m definitely getting the full set of spiritwear for University of ... Somewhere.

Sharon Short’s column runs Monday in Life. Send e-mail to sharonshort@sharonshort.com.

Sanity Check Sharon Short

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