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How to talk to your kids about the Tiger Woods scandal

The case of Tiger Woods: even heroes make mistakes

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By Meredith Moss, Staff Writer Updated 9:47 PM Tuesday, December 29, 2009

So when heroes like Tiger Woods disappoint, how do we approach our kids?

Let the children do the talking, advise the experts.

Greg Ramey, child psychologist and vice president for outpatient services at the Children’s Medical Center of Dayton, says news events provide great conversation openers. He’s a big fan of bringing up difficult issues with youngsters.

But the way we introduce those topics, he says, is critical.

“A lot of kids adore Tiger Woods. This was one of the most popular guys in the world,” Ramey says. “Assuming your kids know who he is and have an interest, hear what they have to say, rather than give your opinion.”

What you don’t want to do, says Ramey, is state your own opinion too soon by saying something such as: “Isn’t that stupid what Tiger did, I hope you never do anything like that!” Ramey dubs that kind of comment a “conversation terminator.”

It’s better, he says, to ask open-ended questions, such as “What do you think about what’s going on with Tiger Woods?”

If the child doesn’t sound too interested, skip the discussion. If it seems like a bigger deal, let the child take the lead.

He or she may say something superficial such as: “It’s no one’s business,” or “Tiger shouldn’t have done that.”

“Most parents make the mistake of jumping in too early to give their opinion,” says Ramey. Instead, they should do some probing: “What do you mean by that?” “I’m not sure I get what you’re saying.”

“Don’t come across as too self righteous, that will just turn kids off,” says Ramey. “Everything in life is timing, and you shut down the conversation if you state your own opinion too early.”

If kids say Tiger ‘Shouldn’t have done that,’ ask them why they think someone who is so famous and has all this stuff would do things like that.

“Get them to reflect upon the causes,” says Ramey. “It should be a conversation, not a lecture. What you’re doing is opening the door to helping kids figure out issues of morality.”

Contact this reporter at (937) 225-2440 or mmoss@DaytonDaily News.com.

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