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Study shows today’s dads conflicted about work

They want to share equally in raising children, but don’t.

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By Meredith Moss, Staff Writer 4:09 PM Saturday, June 25, 2011

BOSTON — Although today’s dads hope to share child-rearing tasks equally, most acknowledge they’re not yet doing that, according to a national study released last week.

Researchers from the Boston College Center for Work & Family interviewed 1,000 fathers across the nation for their study: “The New Dad: Caring, Committed and Conflicted.”

“Fathers feel more conflict over work/family issues than mothers do,” says Brad Harrington, executive director of the center and lead researcher for the study. “What surprised me was that almost from the first day children are born, the experience of mothers and fathers are dramatically different.”

A primary example? Harrington’s study found 76 percent of fathers spent one week or less at home with their newborn. Women, in contrast, on average take 14 weeks of leave time whether paid or unpaid.

“Fathers have to understand that if they want to be equal partners within care giving, that really starts from the first days of a child’s life,” says Harrington. “When the mother is so immersed and the father is hardly present, the father becomes a supporting actor in the parenting game.”

One problem for dads, he says, is that those polled reported their managers expected exactly the same performance at work after the birth of a child.

“There was no sense that these fathers were going to compromise their commitment to the workplace as a result of having children,” says Harrington who says that’s much different for moms.

Sixty-eight percent of the fathers polled said parenting should be divided equally; 77 percent want to spend more time helping with the kids. But only 30 percent said they were sharing parenting duties equally.

Troy Davis of Union is a good example. The 38-year-old father of two does everything from making meals and changing diapers to taking walks with his girls. His wife, Teresa, says he’s the primary bath giver.

“But I also work more hours, I have two businesses,” explains Davis. “Most days I’m at work two to three hours before my wife leaves home, and most days she’s home before I am.”

So although he’d like to share parenting tasks equally, it’s impossible.

“My generation is definitely doing more with the kids,” he adds. “With our wives working, the men have to pick up the slack.”

Jennifer Copas, a mother of three from Miami Twp., says the findings of the Boston study don’t surprise her at all.

“I know people who work for companies where the fathers are expected to work the same if not more as before a child,” she says, adding that many companies seem more willing to accommodate mothers.

“We do have friends in North Carolina who had a baby in May and the dad is using his FMLA (the Family Medical Leave Act) in order to be home with his newborn for 12 weeks,” Copas adds.

Other significant study findings:

• Job security rated as the most important job characteristic by fathers; job security and a job that allows flexible working rated higher in importance than good advancement opportunities and high income.

• Fathers who spend more time with their children report having more confidence as parents.

• A supportive corporate environment that includes a family-supportive culture, supportive managers and supportive co-workers leads to better alignment between work and family, and also leads to more satisfied employees who are less likely to leave the company.

• Fathers utilize informal flexible work arrangements at a much higher rate than formal flexible work arrangements. Fathers using flexible work arrangements, whether formally or informally, have higher job satisfaction and also higher career satisfaction than those that do not use flexible work arrangements.

• 53 percent of fathers would consider not working outside the home if this option were financially feasible. This leads researchers to infer that the role of “stay at home dad” is becoming more acceptable.

Harrington says today’s fathers need to ask themselves if they really believe they can achieve both high career aspirations and at the same time be an equal partner in care giving and invest more time with their children.

“Seventy-seven percent of these guys want to spend more time with their children, but there’s a disconnect between what they are trying to achieve career-wise and their desire to be an equal caregiver with their spouses,” he says.

He says the study also offers an important message for employers.

“Organizations have to understand that fathers are doing a significant amount of care giving and would probably like to do even more, but are stuck in a stereotype that assumes when fathers have children they don’t make compromises in the workplace.”

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