The greatest love stories aren’t always what you’d expect

Choice to open hearts lets family thrive with love times 4

Contributed photo The Hayes Brown boys.

ENLARGE PHOTO

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By Daryn Kagan, Contributing Writer Updated 4:00 PM Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The New Year’s confetti is still on the floor. The inflatable Santa is on clearance at the hardware store. And yet, there they are — the Valentine’s Day cards — already on display in just about every store.

It’s enough for anyone unhappy with their love life to dejectedly sigh, “Really?!”

Seeing those red, pink and white declarations of true love made me think of a woman I worked with in local news in Phoenix. She would secretly order roses for herself each Valentine’s Day, pretending they were from a long-ago boyfriend. She just couldn’t stand the idea of looking at that empty place on her desk as bouquet after bouquet arrived for other women in the newsroom.

But I do think that sad gal was onto something. A secret of love is where you choose to look.

Sharon and Tommy Hayes Brown have shown me that. I’ve known them since 2006 when I featured them on my website, DarynKagan.com. In 1999, they were simply a married couple ready to start having kids. They had a different plan than most, figuring they would build their family with one adopted child and one biological child.

How does that saying go? “Want to make God laugh? Make plans.”

Not long after they started the adoption process, the phone rang.

“I think we have a baby boy for you,” the agency told Sharon and Tommy. Two days later they went to pick up their son, sight unseen. They named him Oree, after Tommy’s grandfather.

About a year later, the phone rang again. Same adoption agency. “We have another little boy for you, if you’re interested.” That’s how Zion joined the family in 2000.

Are you sensing a trend here? Yep, phone rang again in 2002. Time to go pick up baby Isaiah.

“By this time,” Sharon remembers, “Tommy and I realized if we ever were going to fit a biological child into this mix, we better go ahead and do it.”

In November 2003, Sharon had — you guessed it — another boy! He’s Baby Solomon, though now that he’s 7 years old, good luck getting away with calling him “Baby.”

Often people will say to them, “Oh, you adopted three boys and then you had one of your own.”

“We are quick to correct them,” Sharon says. “We have four of our own. They don’t share the same blood, but they share the same parents. They are brothers by love.”

You want a treat? You should see this family’s annual Christmas card. It always features four of the happiest, best-dressed brothers you’ve ever seen. I fall in love each time.

I told Tommy the other day, “If you and Sharon ever wake up and find your four boys missing, send the police my way. Chances are I’ve taken them.”

He laughed but then got a bit more serious and reflective. “People tell me all the time, ‘Oh, I want your family! I want to be like you!’ I tell them our family did not happen by accident. We made some important choices — like marrying a great partner, waiting eight years before we had kids, setting ourselves up so Sharon could stay home.”

As we talked some more, Tommy hit on his and Sharon’s biggest choice of all. They chose to open their hearts.

“Open your heart, and people respond to it,” he said. “We thought we would adopt one and give birth to one. Four boys later, we are overwhelmed daily with the amount of love we’ve been blessed with.”

I told Tommy about the young woman who used to send herself roses on Valentine’s Day. He, too, seemed a bit sad for her.

“I would tell her or anyone else that love is where you find it,” he said.

We agreed that some of the best love stories aren’t about romantic love at all.

“Everybody has loved somebody at some time,” Tommy pointed out. “Valentine’s Day can be about remembering parents who have passed on, a favorite niece or nephew, a really good friend.”

Gosh, when he puts it that way, sounds like it’s not about looking at the empty space on a desk, longing for someone who is not here. There are plenty of people each of us can celebrate this upcoming season. Good thing the stores have the cards out so early. We’ve got some celebrating to do!

Daryn Kagan is the creator and host of DarynKagan.com, an online community that features a daily Web cast of inspirational stories. The former CNN anchor and news reporter is the author of “What’s Possible! 50 True Stories of People Who Dared To Dream They Could Make a Difference.”

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