Reinvention: What happens when you lose  the thing that defines you

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By Daryn Kagan, DarynKagan.com Updated 5:51 PM Thursday, October 7, 2010

It’s time you and I have a “facts of life” talk.

Yes, like the ones your parents had about the birds and the bees and saving for retirement.

Only this is one talk your Mama didn’t have, but I will.

There’s a chapter of life no one tells you about, and it’s headed your way. It’s called reinvention.

I crash-landed into this lesson when I lost my job, something that’s happened to millions of Americans recently.

For me, it started when the Big Boss at CNN called me into his office one day. “Why don’t you stop by after you’re done anchoring this newscast,” he so sweetly invited.

I thought he was going to tell me what a great job my team and I had done on breaking news that day.

But that was not the Big Boss’ mission. He told me CNN would not be renewing my contract after 12 years as an anchor and reporter.

Why not? Actually, I never asked. Any reason he could have given wouldn’t have mattered at that moment.

His voice just sounded like the “Wah Wah” from Charlie Brown’s teacher in the “Peanuts” animated cartoons.

And so the job I did for more than a quarter of my life went away. Poof. Just like that.

I’ve come to see over the last few years that I’m not that special.

Most people will never be a network news anchor, but most people will lose that thing they think defines them. It might be a job or a marriage. Maybe you’re a stay-at-home mom and your kids grow up and move away.

Whatever it is, I can pretty much guarantee that thing you call yourself will go away.

The question then becomes, “What now?”

You can crawl under the covers and cry for a few days. (I actually do recommend that.)

But one day you’ll have enough of that.

That’s when the power comes in, and you get to decide what you’re going to do with that next chapter. You have the power to reinvent.

For me, it was a chance to be brutally honest. As much as I had loved my TV news career, it no longer fit me.

In my personal life, I had embarked on a spiritual journey that focused on the positive, but my job was talking about doom and gloom all day. Hardly a match.

That’s how I came to create DarynKagan.com , a website dedicated to positive storytelling. Every story fits the theme, “Show the World What’s Possible!”

It’s now my job to profile amazing people who have overcome all sorts of odds and are doing inspiring things.

My uniform is jeans and a T-shirt, not high heels and layers of TV makeup.

I either work from home with my dog, three-legged cat and backyard chickens amusing me each moment.

Or I “have laptop/will travel” and take off when I want. No more having to win the holiday lottery just to get a day off.

None of this is to knock my days at CNN. Loved them. In fact, when folks try to tell me how brave I was for going out on my own and starting my own media company, I protest.

Truth is, I’d still be sitting there if they hadn’t kicked me out the door. Even though I didn’t leave by my own choice, I can honestly tell you I haven’t missed it a single second since I left.

It’s the lesson I see over and over from the inspiring folks I cover on my website: It’s not what happens to you. It’s what you do with it.

So the next time something ends in your life or in the life of someone you love, let’s just agree to skip the shame we somehow glue onto endings and assure ourselves, “Oh, honey, this is just your chapter of reinvention. It’s been on its way all along. Let the fun and possibility begin.”

Daryn Kagan is the creator and host of DarynKagan.com , an online community that features a daily Web cast of inspirational stories that show what is possible. The former CNN anchor and news reporter is the author of “What’s Possible! 50 True Stories of People Who Dared To Dream They Could Make a Difference.”

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