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Resolute teen finds her own way to health
Heather Grill makes a commitment to make her bariatric surgery a success.
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Sunday, April 27, 2008
When Heather Grill Gruber was 17, her biggest fear was not waking up.
At 21, her biggest fear is the same as any other person her age. "I'm scared that I won't make anything out of my life," she says.
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Heather holds a pair of size 36 jeans that she and her husband Saford can both fit into, a memento of her past.
Heather Grill got married to Sanford Gruber within a year of meeting him. He told that with her health problems, he didn't want to take any chances by waiting.That's the difference weight-loss surgery — and 280 lost pounds — can make. Even her fears have become ordinary.
Lounging on the couch listening to music was once her favorite activity; now it's taking long walks in the park with her husband of five months, Sanford Gruber.
"It's a Cinderella story," said her aunt, Danetta Brubaker of Brookville. "On her wedding day I was just ecstatic she was still with us. It was a miracle day."
At times the wedding resembled something out of a TV sitcom. The justice of the peace, Brookville Mayor David Seagraves, kept getting lost on the way to the Memories banquet hall in Huber Heights, calling every few minutes for fresh directions.
A button came loose on the lace jacket of Heather's wedding dress, with the bride calling out, "Does anybody have a safety pin?"
But nothing ruffled her deep-seated happiness as she prepared to marry Gruber, the man she met at the home of a mutual friend in July 2006.
"I'm wearing a fairy-tale dress and I'm about to marry the man of my dreams," she declared. "So nothing else matters."
Brubaker calls her niece "an old soul" whose long experience as a social outcast has made her more sensitive to the needs of others.
"People are apt to read a book by its cover," said Heather. "When you're obese most people won't take the time to get to know you. But my real friends know I'm a good person and a great listener. I'm not a slob; I'm actually a neat freak. When I get mad, I do the dishes."
She is saving money to have the excess skin from her rapid weight loss surgically removed. She could lose an additional eight to 20 pounds from that procedure. Her weight loss has slowed considerably, but her bariatric surgeon, Dr. John Maguire, remains optimistic about her progress. "She is maintaining well," said Maguire, who now practices with Premier Bariatric Associates at Miami Valley Hospital. "When patients have kept the weight off for several years after the surgery, they tend to keep it off."
Kim Hedgcorth, Maguire's assistant, notes that Heather's maturity enabled her to do better with the dating scene than many bariatric patients: "Sometimes they don't know how to date and they pick the wrong people. But Heather did a great job. She and Sanford are so dear together."
They were married on Nov. 9, 2007. At the wedding, Maguire almost couldn't believe he was watching the same person he met as a 535-pound teenager.
She has shed 280 pounds, the equivalent of "a very big linebacker," Maguire said.
"Her life was very limited," he recalled.
It didn't look limited at the wedding. One minute she was dancing with friends to "Another One Bites the Dust," and the next she was touting the sugar-free wedding cake her groom had just smashed into her face.
"It's very good," she proclaimed, "except when it gets in your nose."
The couple felt an instant attraction. "As soon as I saw her, I was struck by how beautiful she was," said Gruber, who works as a salesman for Lowe's Home Improvement.
Recalled Heather, "Our personalities just clicked. He's definitely my soulmate. I've found something of me in the opposite person."
Gruber was incredulous when Heather first told her story, which Dayton Daily News columnist Dale Huffman began following in July 2004. "I had to show him the newspaper articles to prove it," she says.
Gruber said he worried initially about the implications for her health, "but love conquered all fears. I just couldn't see myself without her."
Now they can even joke about it, gleefully noting that both of them can fit into a pair of Heather's old size 36 jeans.
Sanford's father, Bob Gruber, died from complications of diabetes seven months before the wedding. He adored Heather and nagged his son, "When are you going to get married?"
After his father's death, "we clung to each other," Sanford said. "She talked me through it."
The wedding hasn't been the only important milestone in Heather's new life.
On Jan. 11, she marched with her classmates from the Ohio Institute of Photography and Technology, earning an associate's degree in criminal justice.
"That was a great day," she says. "I never thought I could fit in one of those seats, let alone walk across that stage."
She hopes to find a job working with teens with substance abuse issues. "I love working with kids, and I think I can help them after what I have been through," she said.
She and Gruber hope to start a family soon. Heather suffered a miscarriage recently in her ninth week of pregnancy, but there's no medical reason she can't have children.
"It's in the Lord's hands," she says, "but we want a lot of kids."
These days her only sinful indulgence is Ben & Jerry's Phish Food ice cream. "I am not going to backslide," she vows.
"I did this for a reason, and that was to be healthy, and I'll stick to it."
Her husband kisses her and gently reminds her that his love is unconditional.
"I tell her she's beautiful every day," Gruber said. "She doesn't need to change herself for anything."
Contact this reporter at (937)
225-2209 or mmccarty@Dayton
DailyNews.com.
