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'Doors of Compassion' event to benefit Ronald McDonald House

Lori and John Crawford of Urbana spend time with their daughter, Jena, in her hospital room at Children's Medical Center of Dayton. The Crawfords have stayed at Dayton's Ronald McDonald House 60 times since the birth of their daughter 13 years ago. Staff photo by Lisa Powell

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By Mary McCarty, Staff Writer Updated 12:35 AM Thursday, February 17, 2011

There’s no lonelier feeling than being in a hospital with your sick child, late at night.

That happened to me one night, and I have never forgotten it. And I have never forgotten how the Ronald McDonald House opened its doors and provided a home-cooked meal for my husband and me. It gave us such a sense of refuge during the unexpected hospitalization of our infant daughter for a high fever.

And it gave us a slight taste of what 15,000 families have experienced since the Ronald McDonald House opened its doors in 1980.

Now we’re joining 20 host families who are opening our homes March 19 for a first-time fundraiser known as Doors of Compassion to benefit the Ronald McDonald House Charities of the Miami Valley. Area chefs will prepare meals in private homes, followed by an after-dinner party at an Oakwood home.

I’m excited about the prospect of a premier chef coming to my home and preparing a meal for guests I have never met.

I’m far more excited about helping families such as Lori and John Crawford and Brent and Sarah Obermiller, who have called the Ronald McDonald House their second home.

The spacious facility with 14 guest bedrooms serves an average of 500 families a year and is seeing an ever-growing demand, with 170 families being placed on the waiting list last year due to overflow capacity. Communal living space includes a well-stocked kitchen, a computer room and a library complete with a fireplace.

Sarah Obermiller gave birth to twin daughters Adelaide and Abigail — 15 weeks premature — at Miami Valley Hospital on July 30. “They were doing very well, and we were very excited to have twins,” she recalled. Tragically, Adelaide became septic and died Aug. 29. “We needed time to heal by ourselves, and we needed time to grieve,” Sarah said. They found that private time at the Ronald McDonald House, a short drive from The Children’s Medical Center of Dayton.

They stayed there for more than a month as Abigail battled respiratory issues. “You keep odd hours, and bump into other residents,” Brent said. “Most people have serious problems with their children, and it helps to keep our situation in perspective.”

The Wapakoneta couple brought Abigail home Dec. 28 and she continues to make progress. “The one thing I would tell people is to save their pop-tops for Ronald McDonald,” Brent said.

The Crawfords’ daughter, Jena, has been hospitalized more than 35 times during her 13 years of life. She has currently been at Children’s for more than four months — the longest stay ever — after a life-threatening infection in October.

It’s comforting for the Crawfords to know that after visiting Jena, they can cross the street rather than drive home to Urbana. John works at the Honda plant in Sidney, so it enables him to visit Jena more often than he could otherwise. They can talk with other families who know what they are going through. “They cater to our needs like we are staying at a five-star hotel,” Lori said. “Your daily needs are met without having to worry about them.”

Jena was born a healthy 8 pounds 9 ounces, but a week later, on Oct. 14, 1997, she suffered a brain aneurysm. “That Tuesday morning I nursed her and she started throwing up foam,” Lori recalled. It was her fourth child, so Lori knew something was terribly wrong. Jena underwent a nine-hour surgery to remove a blood clot from her brain.

“They told us they weren’t expecting a lot — that she would most likely be a complete vegetable,” Lori said.

She vowed, “Not my baby. She has got other plans.”

Jena can sing and vocalize a few words, but the aneurysm caused severe brain damage, leaving her unable to walk or talk.

“I’ve never given up hope on her,” Jena’s father said.

Added Lori, “They thought she wouldn’t make it this time. We’ve heard that before, but we know how tough she is. She’s here for a reason.”

The couple’s three older children have all volunteered with special needs children. “She has opened up everyone’s eyes,” John said. “It makes them more thankful and not taking everything for granted.”

Lori describes her daughter as being “very vocal and cheerful” and said Jena loves being surrounded by her siblings and her young niece and nephew.

The couple try to keep life as normal as possible for their other children, arranging their schedules so one of them can attend 15-year-old son Kyle’s games at West Liberty-Salem High School. But Jena’s illness has taken a toll on her family emotionally and financially, leaving Lori unable to work outside the home.

During one of her recent hospitalizations, the couple fell behind on their mortgage payments. “It got to be a choice between making the house payment or paying for the gas to get here,” Lori explained.

The staff at the Ronald McDonald House encouraged her to contact a social worker at Children’s Medical Center, who connected her with a family who adopted the Crawfords for Christmas and brought their mortgage payments up to date. “It was the best Christmas present ever,” Lori said.

Now they’re eager to get Jena home — almost as eager as she is. “She’s getting a little grouchy,” Lori said. “She just wants to get home to her own bed.”

Her mother understands. But it’s comforting to walk across the street at night and to be greeted by staff who ask how Jena is doing.

“They’re family,” Lori explained.

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