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Nurturing fathers get their dad diplomas

13-week class offered by Miami Valley Partnership for Fathers Initiative teaches men how to be better dads

Staff photo by Meredith Moss Brad Rhoads (left) and his dad, Ed, celebrate their graduation from the Nurturing Fathers for Life course.

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Staff Writer 1:16 AM Sunday, June 21, 2009

DAYTON — It is arguably the most significant and useful diploma to be awarded at a June graduation. Those who earn it are giving an impressive Father’s Day gift to their children and future generations: the gift of time and love.

“A Celebration of Achievement” was held Saturday morning, June 20, at Sinclair Community College, to honor 136 men who have completed the “Nurturing Fathers for Life” course.

The 13-week series, a regional program of the Miami Valley Partnership for Fathers Initiative, aims at equipping men to become the dads they’d like to be.

Springfield residents Ed Rhoads, 48, and his son Brad, 26, took the class together.

Brad, who labeled the course “awesome,” said the biggest lesson he learned is that yelling and screaming don’t accomplish anything.

“Through the Nurturing Fathers program we dealt with our past with or without our fathers, accepted our present as fathers, and embraced the future as nurturing fathers,” Ed Rhoads told the audience. “The rewards come in great memories, warm hugs and seeing your children succeed.”

Billy Joiner, 24, who was abandoned by his father but has determined to be there for his own kids, also addressed the crowd.

“I’ve learned to be patient with my boys, take that day off from work on the weekends and spend time with them, grab them up and hug and kiss them, tell them how much I love them, cry with them, teach them,” he said.

His girlfriend, Tonya Meyer of Middletown, said she’s seen results.

“He’s more patient, he understands more, he has learned to talk to our son,” she said.

Colorful balloons filled the Ponitz Center stage, each representing a graduate who had completed the program while incarcerated and was unable to attend the ceremony.

George Young of Springfield was a facilitator.

“Most of us fathered the way we were fathered,” he said, “and too often that was about corporal punishment.”

Carl Pilkington of Urbana was this year’s oldest graduate at age 75. He signed up looking for ways to help his 13-year-old grandson.

“I learned a lot and would recommend the course to any young father,” said Pilkington, a high school guidance counselor who said the class would also be invaluable for high school students.

“I learned the difference between power ‘over’ and power ‘to.’ Some fathers want to have power ‘over’ the entire family. But if you give power ‘to’ your family, your children learn to be responsible, creative and to think for themselves.”

In addition to the parenting program, the organization also recognized “Wise Guys” grads. That course, for middle school boys, is designed to prevent premature fatherhood.

Partner organizations for the programs include Urban Light Ministries, Family and Youth Initiatives, Power Net of Dayton and Springfield Christian Youth Ministries.

Dads in training

Fathers, fathers-to-be, or father figures interested in attending the free 13-week “Nurturing Fathers for Life” program should call (937) 328-0122. Or check out www.urbanlights.org

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