It might be tempting - heck, I know it is tempting - but no matter how hot it gets, don’t wear a halter top and jean cutoffs to your company’s next staff meeting.

That’s just plain un - unbecoming, unprofessional, unAmerican, unacceptable, unsportsperson-like.

This insanely hot summer is pushing us near the brink with no relief on the steamy horizon. The temps are expected to be in the 90s again next week my friend.

That said, we mustn’t let the dress code slip too much to the darkside at the office. The thinning line that separates America’s mainstream workforce from America’s nudiest-stream workforce must be maintained at all costs.

Don’t let the sun melt your brain. Your career and sanity might be at stake.

I don’t make the rules. I think they are in the orginal draft of the Constitution.

Rule number 1: No matter how high the mercury rises this summer, do not - pretty please do not - leave the house without your bottoms. This is not appropriate in the office or the street.

Your bottoms are your friends. Do not abandon them at a time of crisis. They may not forgive you. Your bottomless viewing public may not forgive you.

While we are on bottoms, make sure those bottoms actually cover the spot your mom’s obstetrician smacked. It may be hot, but 89.9 percent of rumps are not.

Rule number 2: Gentlemen, wear a shirt over that tight white tee — unless of course you don’t mind being asked about your lovely wife, Stella, and her troubled sister, Blanche DuBois.

You might be a tall drink of water, but few people can pull off Brando’s “Street Car Named Desire” look at the office.

Rule 3: Leave the bikini tops at home, ladies. You might look great, but do you really want to see Bryan in accounting in a polka dot monokini. No, you don’t.

I am thinking of you and your 401K.

Number 4: In addition to that, say no to Wet T-shirt Wednesday near the water cooler if it ever gets so hot that such a crazy notion doesn’t seem as nutty as Jif peanut butter.

It sounds like a good idea - a couple of coworkers cooling off and goofing around. We all have T-shirts afterall and we all are hot. What’s the harm? You are dealing with all that sweat anyway.

This astute observer of the human condition is here to guarantee you that it is not a good idea. Such a thing never could be.

The workplace - unless of course the workplace is that sort of workplace - is no place for such shenanigans. There should be shenanigans to be certain — just not those sort.