DaytonDailyNews.com

When women fall victim to violence, the question is often asked, "Why didn't she just leave?"

When that woman serves in the armed forces, the answer becomes more complicated.

There are names for soldiers who "just leave."

AWOL.

Deserters.

What would have happened if Marine Lance Cpl. Maria Lauterbach, fearing for her life, had fled her post?

"She would have been arrested, court-martialed, and sent to the brig," observed Susan Avila-Smith, director of VETWOW, an advocacy group for survivors of military sexual trauma. The acronym refers to "women organizing women," because Avila-Smith founded the group in 1999 with the very practical goal of filling out disability paperwork and medical forms.

Today that mission has broadened. "We want to be a voice for Maria and all the other victims," said Avila-Smith, who came to Vandalia along with four other members of the 1,200-strong organization for Lauterbach's funeral on Saturday.

"A lot of people have been re-traumatized by this case," she said after the funeral Mass.

"We made it out alive," added VETWOW's coordinating director, DeEtta Lubbers. "We all know it could have been us."

Since Lauterbach's murder, Avila-Smith has seen a tenfold increase in visitors to the group's Web site, www.vetwow.com. "We heard from hundreds of men and women who were totally freaking out," she said. "I'm getting 200 e-mails a day."

That emotional response, she said, isn't because the Lauterbach case is so unusual: "We all knew this could happen. This is normal for the way the military handles reports of sexual assault. It gets swept under the rug."

Avila-Smith said the Lauterbach case is also representative of the way the military interrogates victims who dare to report a sexual assault. "When you turn the tables on victims, this can be the end result," she said.

VETWOW is raising funds to create a "large-scale memorial" to Lauterbach and all veterans who have been victims of sexual assault. The design features a laurel wreath sculpture, standing on a pedestal, with the names etched on the leaves. A cameo of Lauterbach's face, etched in bronze, will hang from the wreath.

The tribute would be one of a kind, Avila-Smith said: "There is no monument, no medal acknowledging the survivors of sexual assault. Nobody tells you, 'We commend you for getting through it alive.' "

Robin Kahle, a VETWOW member who served in the Marines, felt compelled to make an even more personal testimonial to Lauterbach. Before the burial at Calvary Cemetery, Kahle placed her own Good Conduct Medal on top of the casket. "She would have made an outstanding Marine, and would have earned her Good Conduct Medal if she had lived," she explained.

She doesn't regret her sacrifice in the least: "My medal went to a good place, and a good person. She was beautiful inside and out, everything a female Marine should be. In our hearts she will live forever."

Contact this reporter at (937) 225-2209 or mmccarty@DaytonDailyNews.com.