DaytonDailyNews.com

You've seen them deliberately waddling in and out of stores like the mythical geese of ancient Rome.

They sweat. They ache. They crave anchovies, Sour Patch Kids and the parking spot closest to the door.

I always feel a little sorry for pregnant women in the summertime.

These sisters are sticky, icky and anything but cool.

Pregnant superstars like Angelina Jolie made romping around in the sun appear rather lovely, even fun.

But from what I've seen in parking lots and at bus stops, carrying globular baby bulges in 90-degree heat is a punishment no woman should have to endure.

Yet women do it and for or the most part without tipping over.

They may wobble, but, for the sake of all things good and holy, they don't fall down.

It's a true miracle anyone agrees to carry a baby — and in the stomach of all places. It is a super-duper miracle anyone is willing to do so while roasting in a sundress and flip-flops.

Good gosh, think about how uncomfortable that has to be.

Oh, the swollen feet. Aww, the gigantic aches.

The humidity alone must drive them batty.

Pirates and sweet potatoes have their own months. Women afflicted with summer pregnancy should have two.

It is for that reason and others that I exclaim July and August "Interstellar Hot Baby Mama Months."

I've never experienced such torture, but my mother has told me all about the pain I caused before being born that fine September day.

Mountains didn't move, but little fetus Amelia made mommy's long, hot days seem longer and hotter.

You'd think by now pregnant women would have figured out a way to take a few months off from the whole pregnancy thing. Hibernation during these steamy months seems like a practical answer to me.

Ya know, pop those offsprings out in the fall when it is nice and cool.

But the technology is just not there, despite the fact that many scientists have experienced what I am told is the "pure" joy one feels tottering around in the summer's heat with an animated alien basketball dunking itself against one's bladder.

If we can send a man to the moon and sell eggs with no yolk, we surely can stop to acknowledge these summer preggers.

So go ahead, give it up to the ladies packing baby, but be careful. Pregnancy and heat are an irritable combination.

Don't step on her foot, lick her ice cream cone or pet her belly.

Oh, and don't assume every woman with a bump this summer is pregnant. Some are simply pleasantly plump, and those bumps are caused by triplets — too many cheeseburgers, pizza bagels and pork rinds.

Contact this reporter at (937) 225-2384 or arobinson@DaytonDailyNews.com.