DaytonDailyNews.com

In the middle of September last year, Michelle Fisher contacted me to tell me about her husband, Jeff.

She called him her "cancer warrior."

We arranged to meet, and they came to Cox Ohio Publishing's Media Center, 1611 S. Main St.

It was a memorable meeting. Jeff was full of life and energy and great plans. We talked. We laughed. We cried.

After we all hugged and said goodbye that day, I kept thinking that I had never met a man approaching the end of his life who seemed to be handling it with more grace, dignity and good will.

He was losing his battle with pancreatic cancer.

Jeff, 40, a mailman for the U.S. Postal Service for 18 years, later wrote a thank-you note to me that read in part, "I have read your column all my life and loved it. Sometimes when we get to meet someone we have admired from afar, there is a chance we could be disappointed. Not in this case. Thanks for giving me a gift of your time."

That meeting was a time of mutual admiration.

As Jeff went about completing his "bucket list," many of Jeff's family members, friends and customers on his postal route threw a fundraising party on Nov. 8. They raised several thousand dollars to help the Fishers finance their vacation trip to see Big Ben in London and the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

"We left on Dec. 6 for the nine-day holiday," Michelle said. "We had four days in London, and four in Paris. Jeff became weaker as the cancer started to spread. But we made it and we enjoyed every second of our dream trip."

At one point while I was talking to Jeff, I asked him if he dwells on the subject of death or tries to fill his mind with more pleasant thoughts.

"I must honestly say that I think about it every single moment of every day," he said. "I think, 'why me?' Or 'it's not fair.' I go to bed every night afraid that I might not wake up. I wake up every morning and listen to my wife sleep, and feel relieved, knowing I have at least lived to share one more day with Michelle.

"I have a feeling inside of me that I have more to give. It might be as little as making her laugh one more time. God has a plan for everyone. I truly believe that in my soul. Whatever I am doing now, whatever is happening in my life is part of his master plan."

Jeff said his illness has brought to him a new respect for caregivers and nurses. "They are angels," he said. "And I also reach out to all the youngsters fighting cancer. I cry every time I think of them. I need to stay positive, be kind, be polite and to pray for all those brave kids who are fighting this terrible disease."

Jeff said the worst part of dealing with advanced cancer is that "it brings hurt and concern for my Michelle. She is my soulmate. What we share is magical. I didn't know what happiness was until we held hands for the first time."

After a pause he added, "Cancer has opened my eyes so much. I wish I had lived my whole life this way. You don't realize how beautiful life is ... until you realize the clock is ticking. A year ago, you would have thought I was one of the healthiest people you knew. Cancer changed that. It doesn't discriminate. It hits young and old, healthy or not. That has probably been the hardest thing for me to accept."

On Sunday, Jan. 11, with the emotional strain obvious in her voice, Michelle called with an update. "This is such a struggle for Jeff. He becomes winded at the slightest exertion. He has lost his appetite. He cannot communicate by speaking anymore.

"It is at the point where every moment I spend with Jeff is a treasure. I honestly feel I have the most wonderful man to call my husband that any woman could ever want. I thank God for giving him to me for every precious moment we share together."

Dale Huffman wants your suggestions and story ideas. He'd like to share a story about you, your family, or a friend. This column is for you. Send e-mail to dhuffman@DaytonDailyNews.com or write to Dale at 1611 S. Main St. Dayton, OH 45409. Fax: (937) 225-2489. Phone: (937) 225-2272.