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Fourth of July Goof-up

By Hal McCoy | Friday, July 4, 2008, 12:52 PM

How many demerits do I get for a Fourth of July faux pas?

For some reason, I plopped a Toronto Maple Leafs hat on my head this morning, a hat I purchased when I visited the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto.

As I walked into the clubhouse, Ken Griffey Jr. looked at me and said, “That unpatriotic right there.”

Knowing not of what he spoke, I said, “What?”

And he said, “Wearing a hat from Canada on the Fourth of July.”

When I mentioned it to manager Dusty Baker, he laughed said, “Well, Canada Day was July 1, you’re just three days late.” Good answer, I thought. And I told that to Griffey, who promptly said, “That’s you. Always three days late.”

Then pitching coach Dick Pole walked by and said, “Bonjour, Hal, bonjour.”

I surrender. No mas, no mas.

STOPPED in the Washington Nationals clubhouse before Friday’s game and before long a corner was filled with Austin Kearns, Aaron Boone, Dmitri Young and Jose Rijo. Also in the room were Wily Mo Pena and Felipe Lopez.

As Young sat down, he said, “I’m coming to this corner to be with the Reds Alumni Association. All I need is blond hair.” When Young played for the Reds, he dyed his hair orange-yellow, which really turned off old-school manager Jack McKeon, who said, “All he needs are platform shoes and flappy collars.”

Said Boone, “You know what this weekend is? It is the Throwback Reds vs. the Reds.

WHEN KEARNS leaves the stadium today, a surprise awaits him - not one he will welcome. When he drove to the park Friday, Kearns thought it would be funny to park in Adam Dunn’s personal spot in the garage. So he parked it and locked it.

Then Dunn arrived and saw Kearns in his spot. What did he do? What any red-blooded male would do when somebody takes his parking spot. Parking rage.

Dunn deflated all four tires and slabbed peanut butter under all four door handles. “He thought it was pretty funny to take my parking spot,” said Dunn. “Let’s see how funny it is when he wants to leave in a hurry after the game.”

ANYBODY EVER wonder what has happened to Brandon Larson, the Reds No. 1 draft pick in 2002 and who not only was a bad third baseman, his career average was .179 for 109 major-league games?

Kearns received a text message recently from Larson, somebody he hadn’t heard from in ages: “How ya doin,’ man? Hope you’re staying healthy. By the way, do you have any bats I can have? I’m playing independent league ball.”

Speaking of Larson, a Triple-A Hall of Famer (I made that up), Kevin Barker reached 227 career RBIs for the Louisville Bats Thursday, tying Larson’s career record for the Louisville franchise.

SOME NEWS, too.

Pitcher Aaron Harang has some tightness in his forearm, so he won’t take his turn Saturday in the rotation. His place will be taken by Josh Fogg, with Harang moving back to a Tuesday start in Chicago.

“Nothing serious,” said Baker. “He had the same tightness in his forearm a couple of years ago and I’m told he skipped one turn and then was fine the rest of the way.”

Ominous, very ominous.

Fogg has spent the last month rehabbing a sore lower back in the minors and said, “I spent a month in the minors and that went good. Now it’s time to test the big leagues again. My first round in the big with the Reds was not too successful (1-2, 9.85 in four starts and seven relief appearances). Let’s see if the second round can be better.”

For those wondering about the seriousness of Norris Hopper’s elbow injury this season, well, he is going to undergo Tommy John elbow surgery Tuesday - done for the season.

“That’s the reason I had to pinch-hit lefthander Paul Bako against Pittsburgh lefthander John Grabow the other night,” said Baker. “Hopper couldn’t do anything but pinch-run and maybe bunt. He winched every time he took a swing.”

Hopper said his elbow began bothering him the first part of May, “And I tried to play through it but it was unbearable. When they said it should be getting better it was getting worse. Hey, this comes along with the game. Injuries are part of it. It’s how you bounce back.”

The surgery is Tuesday and Hopper starts rehab work on Wednesday, “And I should be ready for spring training next year.”

THERE ARE some rumors floating out there that David Weathers is about to be traded to the Florida Marlins, or some other team.

“Haven’t heard anything about that,” said Baker. “Nothing at all. Hey, I hear talk about Aaron Harang, too, and that ain’t gonna happen. Teams are swooping in to pick the cherry trees of teams they think are out of it.”

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Thompson: back to Louisville

By Hal McCoy | Thursday, July 3, 2008, 04:36 PM

They pulled the trigger on Daryl Thompson and if D-Train can find his way back to Louisville, he’ll be pitching for the Bats again. Of course, he doesn’t have to take a subway so he’ll find his way.

One night after taking a beating from the Pittsburgh Pirates, Thompson was optioned back to Class AAA Louisville.

His roster spot was taken by infielder Andy Phillips - and isn’t that bizarre? The Reds lost him on waivers to the New York Mets after the Reds designated him for assignment while they were in Yankee Stadium.

GM Walt Jocketty said at the time that he hated to lose him. Well, the Mets quickly put Phillips back on waivers and the Reds claimed him back.

Hopefully, his luggage catches up.

“Yeah, Andy Phillips is back,” said manager Dusty Baker, “after a very short stint in New York. Very short?”

Maybe the Reds just loaned him to the Mets.

So what does this mean for the Reds rotation? They don’t need a fifth starter until a week from Saturday in Milwaukee. And it is most likely that spot will be taken by Josh Fogg.

Fogg’s back is OK (“It’s been OK for a month,” he said) and he has been stretched out. His last three rehab starts were 8 1/3 inning, a complete game and 8 shutout innings, all more than 100 pitches.

And Thompson?

“He’s close, real close,” said Baker. “Most guys with his experience have command problems, throwing strikes. He was throwing strikes, but he was up in the zone. He was throwing middle of the plate strikes.

“He is not afraid and has tremendous desire and athleticism,” Baker added. “For his best sake, well, he is one of the best guys in our future plans. He has to tighten his slider a little bit and that will make everything else better.

“We like him and just think how far he has come since spring training,” said Baker. “He’s come up the ladder rather quickly. With his future and what we think of him, we thought it is in his best interests to go back and tighten things up.”

DESIGNATED DAY OFF? With a lefthander pitching tonight for the Washington Nationals, Adam Dunn is the guy who got the GSB, as the team likes to call it - a good, solid benching.

Jerry Hairston Jr. and Jeff Keppinger were 1-2 in the order, with Hairston in center and Jay Bruce in left, but with three righthanders pitching for the Nats after tonight, Dunn will return.

Baker admits Hairston and Keppinger are the best 1-2 situation for the team, but they won’t stay in the lineup that way.

“This is chance to have Hairston and Keppinger at the top,” said Baker. “But like I keep saying, with everybody back we have pluck one of them out of there and put out the best lineup we can come up with for that day. With the American League, it was a lot easier with the DH. We could play everybody.

“Ideally, yeah, it is best for us to have Hairston and Keppinger one-two. Ideally,” he said. “They’re really good hitters who can handle the bat and they give us flexibility.”

But every game isn’t an ideal situation, in Baker’s mind, for Hairston and Keppinger batting 1-2.

WITH THE Nationals in town, GM Jim Bowden is along for the ride and the former Reds GM is a big advocate of new Reds GM Walt Jocketty.

“I’m a big fan of Walt Jocketty’s,” said Bowden. “They hired the right guy. If they give him the leeway, and it looks as if they are spending money, he’ll do a good job. He’ll do what he did in St. Louis.”

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Lethargy permeates GABP

By Hal McCoy | Wednesday, July 2, 2008, 09:06 PM

Several scouts from other teams over the past couple of weeks have said, as I related before, that Daryl Thompson is not quite ready for prime time.

On Wednesday, against the lowly Pittsburgh Pirates, that assessment might have struck home.

Thompson gave up hits to the first five Pirates in the top of the first. He lasted only 4 1/3 innings, giving up seven runs and eight hits, two of them home runs.

This isn’t to say I’m ready to throw him out with the dishwater — not yet, even tough he gave up four runs and eight hits in five innings in his previous start in Toronto.

If the Reds truly are building for the future (didn’t we hear this back in 1999?), then a 22-year-old pitcher certainly can learn on the job while working for a last-place team going nowhere — except to defeat when they hit the road, or play at home, or play a team below .500, or play a team wearing black, blue, red, green, rust, orange, teal, purple or fuschia.

Thompson said he couldn’t keep his fastball down. The Pirates kept it up — pounding it all over GABP.

The thing is, the Reds were able to come back in the second take the lead, 5-4. Jay Bruce led the first with a homer, Dunn hit a solo in the second and Bruce banged a three-run shot in the second.

That was it. From the third through the ninth the Reds had no runs and four hits and the Pirates piled on.

“We need to keep plugging along and it’ll all come together,” said Bruce. “Those two home runs don’t mean anything when you lose. We have the pieces here.”

Well, he’s young and knows not exactly of what he speaks. A few pieces? Yes, a few. But this puzzle has more holes and missing pieces than if the grandkid tipped the box over the toilet and flushed.

When somebody told Bruce to hang with ‘em, Bruce smiled and said, “Hang with us.”

This second straight defeat to the Pirates, dropping the Reds even deeper into the depths and dregs of the NL Central, earned manager Dusty Baker a post-game visit from CEO/owner Bob Castellini.

He wasn’t carrying cabbage or tomatoes from his warehouse, so we assumed there was no fruit and vegetable throwing.

“He comes down once in awhile, not often,” said Baker. “He came down to say, ‘Hey, man. We know what you can do. Keep your head up.’ I told him, ‘Our heads are down tonight but they’ll be back up tomorrow.’ “

Is B.C. frustrated? You bet.

“We’re all frustrated,” said Baker.

I know one thing, I’m sure Castellini is sorry he said in front of the world on the TV cameras the day after he fired GM Wayne Krivsky, “We will not keep losing.”

Since then the Reds are 30-35 and, yes, they’ve kept on losing and will continue to keep on losing. Book it, Dano.

As one Major League scout told me BEFORE Wednesday’s game, “This is not a high-energy team.” That’s for certain and it doesn’t lead to a high-energy press box, either. Pass the No-Doz.

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Knee surgery for Gonzalez

By Hal McCoy | Wednesday, July 2, 2008, 04:18 PM

For about 35 seconds Wednesday, I had a scoop.

Alex Gonzalez is having season-ending knee surgery Monday.

He was sitting by himself at his locker and I stopped to chat, asking him, “What are you doing?” He smiled and said, “Just killing time.”

Killing time? I asked how his rehab was coming and what he was doing baseball-wise to better strengthen his knee.

“Baseball stuff? Nothing,” he said. “Just killing time until Monday.”

Monday? What’s Monday, other than an off day.

“Surgery,” he said. “I’m shutting it down. I don’t want to wait another two months to see if it gets better. I want to get it done now and start rehabbing it so it will be better in November and Decemeber. That way, I won’t miss any more spring training. I don’t want to miss any more spring training.”

Gonzalez has one year remaining on his three-year contract for $5.375 million. He has a a mutual option for $6 million in 2010 with a $500,000 buyout.

Gonzalez hasn’t played a game this season, injuring his knee the first week of spring training. And he played only 110 games last season.

The scoop I had lasted only until the other writers saw me talking to Gonzalez and swooped in. But that’s the way it works. Sometimes I wish I could get players in private for interviews.

NO SOONER did I turn away from Gonzalez than I ran into pitcher Josh Fogg. He is still on rehab, but he drove from Louisville to Cincinnati on his own, without being told to do so.

“The workout facilities are better here than in Louisville,” he said. “Plus my wife and kids are here.”

Fogg pitched eight scoreless innings for Louisville on Tuesday and has pitched 8 2/3, a complete game and eight innings in his last three rehabs — throwing more than 100 pitches each time.

He is on rehab for a sore lower back, which hasn’t been sore for a month.

“I’ve been ready for a month,” he said. “What’s next for me. You’re asking the wrong guy. Nobody has said anything. If you hear anything, let me know.”

EDWIN ENCARNACION remains mystified as to why he was ejected Tuesday night on a play at third base by umpire Chad Fairchild.

Encarnacion slapped a tag on Pittsburgh’s Ryan Doumit on a play at third and Fairchild called him safe. Then, two seconds later, he ejected Encarnacion.

“First, I tagged him twice. Once on the butt and once on the hip,” said Encarnacion. “And I didn’t say anything to the umpire. Nothing. I didn’t have a chance to talk. He threw me out before I talked. I didn’t have a chance to talk. I’ve never seen that, never seen anybody get thrown as quickly as that.”

Fairchild said he ejected Encarnacion for throwing his glove, “But I didn’t throw my glove.” Encarnacion raised it and slapped it against his side, but didn’t throw.

“If he looked at the replay, he knows he made a bad call,” said Encarnacion.

FORMER MIAMI UNIVERSITY/University of Michigan football coach Bo Schembechler was at a Columbus dinner one winter and encountered Dusty Baker.

“I like the way you manage, like a football coach,” Baker said Schembechler told him.

Baker said he asked Bo how he decided who to pick when he had players of the same ability, “And he told me, ‘It’s in the eyes. You can read it in the eyes.’ “

One of my first newspaper beats was covering Miami when Schembechler coached there. He even permitted me into some of his pre-game and post-game locker rooms and I remember after one particularly displeasing defeats, Bo blistered the paint after the game as his players shrunk inside their pads.

After he finished, he saw me standing in the corner of the room and he said, “And you can’t print all of that.” Well, no I couldn’t. Subtract the swear words and the unprintables and he didn’t say a thing.

When I was offered the Reds beat and told Bo I was leaving college football coverage, he sneered and said, “Why do you want to cover baseball. That’s a sissy sport (and Bo was a great high school baseball player at Barberton, Ohio, high school.

I didn’t say anything, but years later Bo became president of the Detroit Tigers and I encountered him in Detroit when the Reds played the Tigers in an interleague series.

“So, Bo,” I said. “How does it feel to be president of a team in a sissy sport?”

He didn’t answer, but he also didn’t stay with the Tigers long, either.

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A tale of pitching coaches

By Hal McCoy | Wednesday, July 2, 2008, 12:01 AM

A day off and a fortunate choice, judging by what happened at Great American Ball Park Tuesday — a 6-5 11-inning loss to the Pittsburgh Pirates. Back to last place.

Amazing. They tied it in the ninth, they tied it again in the 10th, they have the tying and winning runs on base in the 11th after scoring a run, but with two outs Corey Patterson is at the plate.

Need I say more? Game over. Reds lose.

Some of you keep calling for the removal of pitching coach Dick Pole and want Leo Mazzone to replace him. Mazzone was the pitching guru for that great pitching staff in Atlanta during the ’90s.

Permit me to point out this little gem. Everybody knows Greg Maddux is one of baseball’s all-time best pitchers, right? No question.

Maddux pitched when Mazzone was pitching coach in Atlanta and he pitched when Pole was the pitching coach for the Chicago Cubs.

Guess who Maddux said was the best pitching coach he ever worked with?

“Dick Pole is the best pitching coach I ever had,” said Maddux.

That’s good enough for me.

Some of you would like to see Mario Soto as pitching coach. And there is no question he would be a good one, especially with the Latin players. He already is a mentor to Johnny Cueto and Edinson Volquez.

But Soto prefers working mostly at the Reds academy in his native Dominican Republic with occasional tours of the Reds’ minor league teams and an occasional stop with the Reds to counsel Cueto and Volquez.

To me, Soto was one of the best pitchers in Reds history, a mean son-of-a-sea serpent on the mound who wasn’t afraid to throw inside and knock down hitters who got too comfortable in the batter’s box or dug in too deeply with their spikes.

And he did it basically with two pitches — a better-than-average fastball and a change-up some people say was the best change-up in baseball history — a pitch he taught Cueto.

Soto suffered from pitching for some of the worst teams in recent Reds history. The year they lost 101 games (1982), Soto was 14-13 with a 2.73 ERA. They finished last again in 1983 and Soto was 17-13 with a 2.70 ERA. They were fifth in 1984 and he was 18-7 with a 3.53 ERA.

Now that’s what you call some kind of pitching.

Soto once came within one out of a perfect game, but with two outs in the ninth George Hendrick of the St. Louis Cardinals hit a home run off him, “Because I was stupid enough to shake off the catcher and throw a dumb slider,” he said.

What kind of competitor was he?

Dave Bristol, a former Reds manager, was a master bench jockey, throwing epithets and insults at opposing players. When he was a coach with another team he was on Soto unmercifully from the dugout when Soto was pitching.

It wasn’t a good day for Soto and when he got knocked out of the box he went to the clubhouse telephone and phoned the other team’s dugout, challenging Bristol to meet him under the stands.

Bristo’s momma didn’t raise a stupid son. Bristol refused and when the game was over he hid in the clubhouse while Soto was outside the door demanding his appearance.

“If I showed up, he would have killed me,” said Bristol.

Bristol was deathly afraid of snakes — any kind, even the common garden snake. One spring training, when Bristol was coaching third base for the Reds, a player surreptitiously slipped a rubber snake into the coaching box between innings.

When Bristol went to the box and saw the snake, he set a 20-yard dash record to the dugout and refused to return to the coaching box until somebody removed the rubber snake.

“Rubber, ceramic or papier mache, I ain’t going anywhere near no snake,” said Bristol.

When Bristol managed the San Francisco Giants, they went into a long losing streak and before one road game Bristol scheduled an early practice. He scheduled two buses - one for the practice and one for the time when the bus would regularly leave.

Said Bristol, “The first bus is for all those who need extra practice and it leaves at 1 p.m. The empty bus leaves at 5 p.m.”

Bristol was the manager of the Reds in 1968 when I covered my first major-league game. I was a sub that day for our regular beat writer, Jim Ferguson. Gary Nolan was suffering from a sore arm and was scheduled to throw in the bullpen that day and Ferguson told me, “Be sure to ask Bristol how Nolan did.”

The Reds won that day, 1-0, so after the game I trudged to the clubhouse and with the other writers went into Bristol’s office. Trying to be the great reporter, I asked the first question. “How did Nolan do today?”

Bristol bristled. His face turned red. He sputtered and spluttered. “We just won a great g-damn game, 2-1, and you’re asking me about g-damn Nolan?”

Scared the beejezus out of me. I think I covered four more games before I ever asked Bristol another question.

Many years later, when Bristol was back with the Reds as a coach, I told him that story about being a cub reporter covering my first game and how he blasted me into silence for several games.

Bristol laughed and said, “I used to love to intimidate young reporters.”

Man, did it ever work.

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Still some glory days left

By Hal McCoy | Monday, June 30, 2008, 10:58 PM

OK, be honest. How many of you Griffey-haters and Griffey-baiters (I know you’re out there in droves) were mumbling something like: “He has to bunt, he has to bunt.”???

Sure you were.

Ninth inning. Reds down, 3-2. David Ross, who had doubled, was on second. Griffey, who took the day off and came into the game as part of a double-switch in the top of the ninth, came to the plate.

Yes, you have a normal guy bunt the tying run to third. Griffey, even at 38 and not close to the player he once was, still has a flare for the dramatics.

The surprising thing was that Pittsburgh manager John Russell didn’t walk him intentionally, but the rule of thumb (fractured or not) is you don’t intentionally put the tying/winning run on base, especially on the road.

So Russell had closer Matt Capps pitch to him. Second pitch. Bang. Game over. It ended a humorous day during which Reds manager Dusty Baker’s 9-year-old son, Darren, told Grifffey he wasn’t playing Monday because he can’t hit left-handers and because he is old.

Maybe Baker should instruct Darren to drop some insults on Ken Griffey Jr. every day, a few Rodney Dangerfields here and there.

If it produces what it did Monday in Great American Ball Park, a game-winning walk-off home run, then why not?

The Cincinnati Reds made it three wins in a row and climbed out of last place in the National League Central (by .001 percentage point) with a 4-3 decision over the Pittsburgh Pirates.

The igniter? Griffey. The ignitee? Little Baker, or as Griffey called him with a smile, “Half-Baked.”

Griffey didn’t start the game, getting a day of rest, but came in to right field in the top of the ninth as part of a double switch.

Before the game, Griffey kiddingly asked Darren why he wasn’t playing and Darren said, “Because you can’t hit left-handers.”

Griffey told him he hit 21 homers off left-handers in 1996 and Darren said, “It’s not 1996 and you’re old. About 50.”

After hitting his 10th homer this season and the 603rd of his career, Griffey said he is going to start calling Darren, “Baker-and-a-half.”

Before the game, Adam Dunn asked Griffey why he wasn’t playing and Griffey said, “GSP, a good, solid benching. I figure it worked out for you, so they’re just giving me a jump start.”

Griffey, though, made it clear he prefers to play nine innings and shake hands, not less than an inning and shake hands.

“I don’t like those (days off), but it’s OK. Well, no it’s not,” he said. “You want to be out there all the time. So you just try to contribute when you’re in there.”

Before that, it was familiar territory for starter Aaron Harang. He pitched seven innings and gave up three runs, but his so-called friends could only score two for him.

“Harang threw a pitch low-and-in for Adam Roche (who hit a home run) and he likes the ball low-and-in,” said Baker. “We wanted to get Aaron the victory, but we got the victory and we’ll get one for him next time.”

Pittsburgh scored first after a leadoff double in the second inning by Ryan Doumit and he scored on Adam LaRoche’s sacrifice fly.

The Reds tied it, 1-1, in the third on Jerry Hairston Jr.’s second home run, a drive into the left field seats.

LaRoche struck bigger and better in the sixth when he followed Xavier Nady’s double with his eighth home run, a blast over the right field wall to make it 3-2.

The Reds had the bases loaded with one out in the sixth, but scored only one. Jay Bruce’s grounder to first scored a run, but David Ross struck out, leaving the Reds in arrears, 3-2.

Putting the first two on base in an inning didn’t do the Reds much good, except raise the frustration level.

The first two reached in the first inning against starter Paul Maholm, but nothing came of it because Brandon Phillips popped up and Joey Votto grounded out.

The first two reached in the eighth against relief pitcher Damaso Marte, but Votto missed on two horrible bunt attempts and struck out, Edwin Encarnacion struck out and pinch-hitter Javier Valentin grounded out.

Then it was time for The Old Man Like LaRoche, he likes the ball low-and-in, too, and that’s where Capps put the fastball that Griffey dispatched with alacrity.

“You know what Bill Cosby said, ‘Kids say the darndest things,’ ” said Griffey. Wasn’t that Art Linkletter?

“That was a tremendous at-bat by Ross before the home run, falling behind 0-and-2 before working the count to 2-and-2 and then doubling. “We haven’t had one of these in a long time and I’m extremely happy for Junior,” said Baker (the father/manager, not the son).

“We left guys on in the first, the sixth and the eighth, but we won in the ninth and that’s all that matters,” Baker added.

And here are Griffey’s career game-winning walk-off home runs:

—Monday, Pittsburgh (Matt Capps), ninth inning.

—May 11, 2006, Washington (Joey Eischen), 11th inning.

—August 8, 2002, Los Angeles (Omar Daal), 13th inning.

—August 20, 2001, St. Louis (Andy Benes), 11th inning.

—August 24, 1998, New York Yankees (John Wetteland), ninth inning.

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Telling it as (like) it is

By Hal McCoy | Monday, June 30, 2008, 04:30 PM

Out of the Mouths of Babes Department:

Ken Griffey Jr. was not in Monday’s lineup and he saw 9-year-old Darren Baker standing i n the clubhouse.

“Why am I not playing tonight, Darren?” asked Griffey.

“Because you can’t hit lefthanders,” said Darren, son of manager Dusty Baker. “And you’re old.”

“How old am I?”

“Fifty.”

“If I’m 50, how old does that make your daddy?”

Adam Dunn got in on it, too?

“You’re not playing tonight?” he said to Griffey.

“Good, solid benching,” said Griffey. “He figured it worked for you so he’s just giving me a jump start.”

“I didn’t get bench, I was a DH,” said Dunn.

“Same thing,” said Griffey.

And the real reason?

“Were the writers standing there when Darren asked Griffey?” said Baker. Told there were a few, Baker said, “Oh, man. Well, don’t ask kids, man.”

Addressing the issue directly, Baker said, “This guy is tough on lefties (Paul Maholm) and Dunn has hit him pretty good and Griffey hasn’t. Just trying to find a way to get some righthanders in the lineup and Griffey will be back in there tomorrow.

“The guy tomorrow (Zach Duke) has been tough on Dunn,” Baker added. “Like I said, I’ll be mixing and matching to have the best lineup in there for that day.”

Dusty must have been reading the numbers upside down: Griffey is hitting .278 (5-18) with a home run and five strikeouts against Maholm. Dunn is hitting .136 (3-22) with seven walks and nine strikeouts.

BY THE WAY, Pittsburgh manager John Russell batted his pitchers eighth in the order, making it three managers doing that, all in the NL Central. He joins Tony La Russa (St. Louis) and Ned Yost (Milwaukee).

Why? Don’t ask. It’s so much gibberish - same nonsense that comes out of La Russa’s mouth.

ADAM DUNN dumped a pile of bats on the floor and said, “That’s it. These are done. Batting practice only for these. I’m going back to ash.”

Dunn has been using maple but is tired of bats shattering in his hand. “I hit one right on the screws, right on the sweet spot, right on the barrel against C.C. Sabathia, and the bat was in pieces. Most bats late three weeks to two months, but not these. Back to ash.”

Dunn also said he was feeling some pain in his kidney after he was hit by a pitch Sunday. In fact, he was hit twice in a row by Cleveland pitcher Aaron Laffey. Before Dunn faced Laffey again, catcher Kelly Shoppach ran to the mound and said, “Please don’t hit him again. He’s bigger than both of us combined.”

“I wasn’t sore yesterday, but I am today,” said Dunn. “I know he didn’t do it on purpose, but I’m glad he was throwing 87 instead of 97.”

Griffey was uncarting packages of batting gloves and shoes sent to him by Nike.

“They finally got the batting gloves right,” he said. “They haven’t been paying attention. You’re at the bottom of their barrel when the Olympics roll around.”

As he unpacked the shoes, Javier Valentin said, “All-Star shoes, huh?” Griffey, who’d rather be in The Bahamas than at the All-Star game, is running second in the balloting, meaning he’ll start.

Can’t let this go without throwing Continental Airlines under the bus (can you throw an airplane under a bus?). I’ve nailed U.S. Airways, United and Delta, now it’s Continental’s turn.

Arrived at the Cleveland airport at 6 p.m. Sunday night for a 9:15 flight to Dayton. After dinner at Max & Erma’s (great burgers) I went to the gate and the plane was there - always a good sign.

But at 9 o’clock, came the dreaded announcement. “The plane is here, but the crew isn’t. The crew is on its way from Portland, Maine, and won’t be here until 10:01. Not 10, but 10:01. That’s when we were supposed to land in Dayton.

We boarded at 10:30. We blasted down the runway. We were just about to take off. The pilot applied the brakes. I white-knuckled the arm rests. The pilot got it stopped and mumbled something about a light glowing on the control panel. “And by the way we have to sit here for 15 minutes because now the brakes are hot.”

Got home past midnight, a couple of hours late. And changed my underwear.

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