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Home > Blogs > Sir Critic on Cinema > Archives > 2007 > February > 16 > Entry
Picking a bone with ‘Ghost Rider’
I hate snow.
What has that got to do with “Ghost Rider”? Everything, actually.
You may recall me writing last week that I hoped to review the spy thriller “Breach.” Problem with that was, “Breach” screened on Tuesday, when the big snowstorm hit us. So I got stuck at home - and got stuck reviewing “Ghost Rider,” which has the dubious distinction of being the most expensive movie ever made that should have gone directly to video.
Where do I start?
Well, let’s start with the basic premise. This is a movie about a superhero whose power is to turn into a skeleton, light himself on fire and scare people. Heck, I had a hard time writing that last sentence without typing the word “dude” in front of it.
Granted, the folks who made this movie don’t mean for us to take it all that seriously, particularly not when Nicolas Cage is playing the lead in full-on, “Aw, hell with it” mode. But honestly - is one really supposed to root for a superhero who looks like the love child of the Human Torch and He-Man nemesis Skeletor?
Since the movie doesn’t try to take anything seriously, I’m not going to review it seriously either. In fact, I’ll have some fun and give every character fake names that I think describe them accurately. Well, all except for Ghost Rider. He comes with his own silly name. Two, actually, if you count his “human” name, Johnny Blaze. (Get it? Get it??)
You see, back in the day, Ghost Rider, to save his dad’s life, made a deal with the devil, Uneasy Rider, played by Peter Fonda. Being the devil, Uneasy Rider allows Ghost Rider’s dad to die anyway. That gives Ghost Rider a giant chip on his shoulder, so he can’t hang with the love of his life, the Girl Who Looks Lost (Eva Mendes). She was the character I related to most.
As it turns out, Uneasy Rider has a son, Vampire Boy, played by Wes Bentley, who pretty much throws away the promising career started by “American Beauty.” Vampire Boy and his henchmen, the ghouls from Michael Jackson’s “Thriller,” want to go after Ghost Rider too. Vampire Boy is after some old parchment so he can rule the world and jack up the visual effects budget for the movie.
Or something to that effect.
So Ghost Rider discovers he can turn into a walking barbeque, using a big ol’ chain as his main weapon and a motorcycle that spits out a trail of fire like the Road Runner makes when he turns on the turbo speed and Wile E. Coyote drops his teeth. His sidekick is the Marlboro Man, played by everyone’s favorite grizzled actor with a gravely voice, Sam Elliott. (I guess Kris Kristofferson was unavailable.)
Still with me after reading all that? If you are, go and see “Ghost Rider,” because it requires suspension of disbelief that I could not muster. Your average episode of “Super Friends” was more fun. Where’s Gleek when you need him?
I’ll admit, I got a genuine laugh or two from the silliness of the whole thing, and from Cage’s valiant attempt to go with the flow. But even in campy superhero movies, you have to care about what’s going on. I was too busy trying to ponder the meaning of lines like “He may have my soul, but he doesn’t have my spirit.” Whatever, dude.
The writer-director of this movie, Mark Steven Johnson, made “Daredevil,” but next to “Ghost Rider,” “Daredevil” looks like “Spider-Man 2.”
And speaking of twos, yes, the door is left open for a sequel to “Ghost Rider.” If there is any justice in the world, that sequel has a snowball’s chance in hell of getting made.
GRADE: D
Permalink | Comments (6) | Categories: Reviews
Comments
By Allie D
February 21, 2007 3:21 PM | Link to this
This review made me laugh my a*s off! LOL!!By SRCputt
February 18, 2007 5:27 PM | Link to this
Looks like Eric went to the wrong movie opening this weekend. I saw “Bridge to Terabithia” with my son today and its one of the best live action family movies in years. I loved how it celebrated imagination yet dealt honestly with struggling with bullies. And I doubt “Ghost Rider” has such an emotional pull.By ron rollins
February 17, 2007 5:36 PM | Link to this
agreed with the above comment about “the proposition” … weirdly grand and possibly great… one of the best movies i saw in the last year… not for everybody, based on the fairly horrific violence and generally grungy take on life, but as a true-feeling anti-western set in turn-of-century Aussie outback, it’s terrific. packs a real wallop. check it out.By Joe Bell
February 17, 2007 10:15 AM | Link to this
I believe you missed out on a great movie. I’m a big fan of the comicbook story and waited a long time to finally see the story make it to the silver screen. Looking forward in a 2nd feature — just hope it goes over!!! GREAT MOVIE — ACTION PACKED !!!!!By SRCputt
February 16, 2007 3:26 PM | Link to this
I missed Norbit last week and Ghost Rider this week. Guess I’m picking the right films to miss.By MisterG
February 16, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this
Thank you for saving me the $7-10 cash I might have otherwise wasted on this film. On the other hand, I caught three films recently that were all worthy entertainment values: Pan’s Labyrinth, Apocalypto, and The Proposition.