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OSU could get chewed up in Coliseum
Sunday, September 07, 2008
I need to go to church before the Bengals kick off the season, because if I don't hear some calm words of wisdom, I'm liable to introduce a whole new vocabulary to the kids. Bengals and Ravens. Pouting wide receivers, poor tackling and Ray Lewis dancing like Elaine Benes on "Seinfeld." If the Bengals don't win in Baltimore, it'll be "hello, 4-12."
Work to do: I feel for loyal fans of THE OSU. If the Buckeyes duplicate that sleepwalking act they pulled against Ohio next week at Southern California, they'll get pushed right into the Pacific. Watching this team is about as frustrating as trying to accurately aim ketchup out of those ill-conceived upside-down bottles. (I just close my eyes and hope I don't hit my shirt.)
OSU's Brian Hartline labeled the Bucks' victory over the Bobcats "pathetic." Love players who give it to you straight. This team does not look good, and if Chris Wells doesn't walk into the L.A. Coliseum at 100 percent, well, the season debut of "Saturday Night Live" is on NBC.
My key to the game is obvious: Todd Boeckman. The QB from St. Henry has not looked good for several games. If he freezes up against USC, the Start Terrelle Pryor Club will be ready to riot on High Street.
Good ol' Chad: Wonder if Chad Johnson consulted his family before making a fool of himself (again). I can understand changing your name for religious reasons (Ahmad Rashad, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar), but this Ocho Cinco stuff is ridiculous.
If I ran the Bengals, I'd change Johnson's number, probably to 00.
Fading Irish: This stat is courtesy of Gannett News Service columnist Mike Lopresti, who lives just over the border in Richmond, Ind.: Eighty-nine schools have won bowl games since Notre Dame last won one, on Jan. 1, 1994. After watching the Irish struggle against a team from San Diego (not the Chargers), that streak isn't in danger of being broken.
Debate brewing: I must admit that I am swayed by John McCain's experience in operating a beer distributorship. That's my kind of politician. Seriously, I respect both candidates, but I hope they keep the cheap shots to a minimum. Sadly, negative campaigning has become an American tradition. Just tell me how you're going to get rid of the deficit and show me a voting booth.
Quick hits: I don't think Misty May-Treanor or Kerri Walsh are that attractive. Great volleyball players, but not the beauty queens everyone makes them out to be. There, I said it. ... Good to see Dragons ace Jeremy Horst working his way up. Gotta cheer for guys from the Dakotas.
Knucklehead of the Week
Tatum Bell was waived by the Lions last week, but he didn't leave the Motor City empty-handed. Bell grabbed two Gucci bags on his way out the door. They belonged to former Bengal Rudi Johnson, who had just joined the team. Bell's actions were caught on tape by a security camera. Rudi said he was missing cash and credit cards — and some boxer shorts and socks. "I ain't no thief," Bell told the Detroit Free Press. But is he wearing Rudi's underwear?
Contact this reporter at (937) 225-2163
or bkollars@DaytonDailyNews.com.
