DaytonDailyNews.com

CINCINNATI — Bengals middle linebacker Odell Thurman broke his silence this week, telling ESPN The Magazine he's not a drug addict and he takes "full responsibility" for the mistakes that led to a four-game suspension for violating the NFL's substance-abuse policy.

Thurman said that skipping drug tests while out of town this summer, as well as missing appointments with his NFL-mandated counselor, are what caused the violation.

The NFL considers a missed test or missed counseling session the same as a positive result on a drug test. Thurman's next violation will result in a yearlong suspension.

"I got one foot over the edge," he told the magazine. "I got one whole leg over the edge. A one-year (suspension) for me, if I were to make that mistake, it would be like committing suicide.

"I just want people to know I wasn't out there using all types of drugs. Basically, it was me missing a test. It was my first NFL offseason and I was out doing too much during the summertime, being irresponsible and not taking it real serious. I made a mistake. And I'm living with that mistake. And now I'm refocusing."

Thurman was allowed to participate in all preseason activities. But starting Monday, he's not allowed to practice or be with the team on game days. Thurman loses out on four game checks totaling $78,529. He's eligible to return Oct. 2.

"The biggest problem was around camp when the news came out," he said, "I was embarrassed and scared and I separated myself from everyone.

"Coach (Marvin Lewis) called me like five or six times, but I was in denial. I didn't want to face it. I used to be the happiest guy in the building coming into work. I was worried how everyone would treat me. But my teammates welcomed me back with open arms. Coach is like a father to me."

Thurman said his goal is to go "from nothing to the Hall of Fame. That's the story I want. A success story. I don't want to end up no sad story."

Contact this reporter at (937) 225-2253 or cludwig@daytondailynews.com.