DaytonDailyNews.com

DAYTON — Dayton's PFLAG members are ready to listen. The local chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays has scored something of a Hollywood coup, hosting a Q&A session with Ryan Kelley, star of "Prayers for Bobby," which will take place after a free screening of the movie scheduled for 3 p.m. today, Jan. 25, at Cross Creek Community Church.

Kelley will talk about his experience making the film, which is based on an acclaimed 1995 novel, and PFLAG is hoping the event will draw members of the community who may be ready to talk.

"We're hoping to reach people who are parents, or know people in the situation where kids are coming out or about to come out," said Mary Kirkendall, PFLAG Dayton's board president-elect, whose family's own story is reflected to a great extent in the movie.

"Prayers for Bobby: A Mother's Coming to Terms With the Suicide of Her Gay Son" was written by journalist and playwright Leroy Aarons. It's the story of Bobby Griffith, a young gay man who faced extreme pressure from his religion, which believed he could be "healed," and his family, which believed in its religion. Griffith committed suicide in 1983, leading his mother, Mary, to re-examine her beliefs; she turned to PFLAG and became a crusader for gay and lesbian youth in America.

The movie, which premiered on the Lifetime network at 9 p.m. Saturday, stars Sigourney Weaver as Mary and Kelley as Bobby. Kirkendall said she's purposely waiting to see the movie at the PFLAG event: "I'm just wondering how many boxes of tissues I should bring," she said. "This is my story, the whole religious background — it played out in my life."

Like the family in the movie, Kirkendall's fundamentalist bent proved a powerful obstacle to accepting her son Noah's homosexuality.

"It was something we couldn't talk about in our home," she said. "It was just devastating to my husband to get this news. ... Everybody takes it differently. It was awful, but I said, 'I am not going to lose my son over this.'

"Because of this clash with religion and reality, Noah experienced a very serious case of depression which had to be dealt with. ... It was a whole journey in itself. I was the one left to deal with it, because his dad just could not handle it, and we lost our church family, as well — they were not supportive at all. We were completely abandoned. Our story could have ended very much like the story ended in the movie," she said, noting that the suicide rate for young gay males is six times the national average.

Noah is now a college senior about to graduate, with plans for law school, said Kirkendall. "I always knew God was going to use him in amazing, amazing ways, and it's wonderful to see him involved with ecumenical groups. ... In the college arena, he found it's OK to be a person of faith and be gay."

The family worships at Cross Creek Community Church, which Kirkendall called "very progressive, very refreshing."

Jan Couchman, president of Dayton's PFLAG chapter, believes "Kelley's visit underscores the priority that both PFLAG and the film's cast have placed on changing hearts in the heartland. Though 'Prayers' is a Hollywood production, its impact will be felt most in places like Dayton, where families turn to PFLAG as they learn to embrace and celebrate their lesbian and gay children.

"All of us at PFLAG know that the story of Bobby is one that plays out in the living rooms of Dayton and our country every day," she said. "Ryan Kelley's visit is an opportunity to show our own community that they are not alone and that PFLAG and our families are here to help. We look forward to welcoming Dayton to this once-in-a-lifetime event, and to hearing Kelley's own story about the importance of 'Prayers.' "

Kirkendall's own hopes are even more expansive:

"I may be optimistic or naive, but I think we won't even need organizations like PFLAG 20 years from now," she said. "We're in the midst of a cultural shift. If you look at surveys, older people are just more adamantly opposed to the concept of homosexuality — they fear it. People who are under 25 don't seem to care.

"For them, (being gay) is no more important than whether your eyes are blue or your eyes are brown."

How to go

What: Screening of "Prayers for Bobby" and discussion with star Ryan Kelley

When: 3 p.m. today

Where: Cross Creek Community Church, 667 Miamisburg-Centerville Road, Centerville

Cost: Free and open to the public. Seating is limited, so RSVPs are requested to daytonpflag@yahoo

.com or by calling (937) 426-8037.

Sponsor: PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), a nonprofit organization promoting the health and well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people, their families and friends through advocacy, education and support. For information on the group, visit www.pflag.org and www.pflagdayton.org.

Contact this reporter at (937) 225-2

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