Daryn Kagan: The ‘ex’ story I didn’t want to tell

Daryn Kagan is the author of “What’s Possible! 50 True Stories of People Who Dared To Dream They Could Make a Difference.” Email her at Daryn@darynkagan.com.

As break-ups go, this was one of my yuckier.

The details still so clear, all these years later.

We met soon after I moved to Atlanta to work for CNN.

He also had just moved to the city to do a one-year surgical fellowship.

I was so sure he was The One.

A year into dating, he came to be sure that I wasn’t his.

The big clue being his accepting a job on the other side of the country.

No invitation for me to join him included.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he said as he slammed the door on our relationship.

“But I love the story of how we met!” I wailed as one of my many protestations of why he was making a huge mistake.

“Oh, you can still tell our story,” he oh-so-generously offered, as if our How We Met Cute story was one of our many possessions to be divvied up.

“It’s not as good of a story,” I pointed out, “when it ends with your breaking my heart.”

He shrugged his shoulders, handed over my townhouse key and was gone.

So here goes.

How we met.

My younger sister sat next to his best friend on a flight to Cleveland. They got to talking and decided we should meet.

Not long after my sister declared, “Have I got a guy for you!” did this stranger cold-call me at CNN saying, “This is going to sound crazy … ”

I knew immediately. “Let me guess, your best friend sat next to my sister on a plane.”

What are the odds we would get beyond a first date, let alone enjoy a year together?

Told you.

Cute story.

I’m sharing it this week, well, because he said I could.

And because he was right.

I was not his One.

Nor was he mine.

I heard through the very limited connections we had that he married someone very different from me.

I truly hope he’s happy.

See, he probably was the first really nice guy I ever dated.

A sign of hope, that I could make a good choice.

Alas, hope doesn’t mean he was meant to be my husband, not when I see the awesome guy I ultimately did marry.

And Ex was right about telling our story.

Especially now.

In this diabetically, overly sweet season of Valentine’s when you are constantly splashed with red and pink, “Will you be mine?” tidal waves.

There’s a chance, Dear Reader, that love is letting you down right now.

There’s no current significant other.

You’re tremendously missing someone who has passed.

I share to say, I bet there is also some happy memories buried deep in your heart.

Even a love affair gone bad had to have some make-your-heart explode moments.

And I know someone who has passed left behind some incredible memories.

Just like the ex-boyfriend, I’m saying, go ahead, it’s O, tell that story.

Celebrate the slices of happy.

I’ve told you mine.

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