Earning self-esteem

Reader Donna Wilson weighed in yesterday’s item about self-esteem for children.

“I’m in agreement with parenting expert Michele Borba that worries about self-esteem may be a misplaced concern. Self-esteem comes from success attained by oneself. That’s not to say that ‘coaching’ can’t be used by parents to validate disappointment and help lead the child (but not tell them what to do) to determine what they can do to be more successful next time. ‘You must be really frustrated that you studied so hard and still only got a B. Have you figured out what tripped you up?’

“It’s also important to convey confidence that the child can solve his own problems. … The last thing to teach them is to let go and choose to do what makes them happy and accept the fact that no one is good at everything. An example: ‘I’m absolutely no good at golf but I love riding my bike. Besides, it’s less expensive and I can go anytime I want.’”

Good suggestions. And parenting is hard. Your thoughts? Email rrollins@coxohio.com.

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