VOICES: “A day where everybody seemed to know they needed each other”

John Wagner is a retired United Methodist pastor from Middletown. (CONTRIBUTED)

John Wagner is a retired United Methodist pastor from Middletown. (CONTRIBUTED)

There’s a Thanksgiving movie I like, “Pieces of April.” Played by a very young Katie Holmes, April has made bad life choices and is now estranged from her family, but when she finds out her mother is dying she invites them all to her small apartment in New York City for Thanksgiving dinner. While they are on their way we see her dealing with every conceivable kitchen disaster, forcing her to beg help from strangers in her building. A family of recently arrived Asian immigrants let her use their oven, and as she is waiting she attempts to explain what Thanksgiving is all about:

“Once there were people here called Indians, Native Americans, whatever. And then a boat came called the Mayflower, landed on a big rock, carrying people just like me. And the first year on their own was hard. It was really, really hard… Let me start again. This was long ago, before we stole most of their land, killed most of them, and moved the rest to reservations. Before they lost their language and their customs…. Okay. Um. Forget what I just said. Once there was this one day where everybody seemed to know they needed each other. (One of the daughters translates for her parents … they nod, understanding this.) This one day when they knew for certain that they couldn’t do it alone.”

I love Thanksgiving. It’s the quiet holiday, the one least cluttered, the one most likely to bring strangers together. It’s important, and I wish more retail workers were able to stay home instead of having to get a jump on Black Friday. I also admit to loving the story of the first Thanksgiving. There’s strong evidence that this was indeed a day of genuine interracial and interreligious harmony. And yet April is right. The descendants of the pilgrims eventually killed many of the tribal people who’d helped them through that first horrific winter.

But we still need that old story, don’t we? In our divided society, we need that parable and others like it that represent our desire for peaceful relations with our neighbors, however different they may be.

A webinar I helped produce led me to LaRenda, a Cheyanne Arapaho from Oklahoma. She’s a tough minded activist, well known for demanding that missing and murdered indigenous women be made a higher priority for law enforcement. LaRenda knows the terrible history of her people and she can get angry. But she got through to very resistant state legislators. As she explains it, the politicians she had to confront eventually became real to her, people who have families, who get tired at the end of the day, all of that. She now asserts they voted to pass a groundbreaking law - and these are her exact words - “out of the goodness of their hearts.” She also says she is optimistic that as society becomes more diverse “people are going to be more accepting, they’re going to recognize that everyone is a human being, that everybody matters.”

LaRenda is a force of nature, but she’s also a person of faith. She even celebrates Thanksgiving. Her optimism, in my view, is a kind of prayer that a day will come when we see others as real human beings, and not just people of another race, or political party, or social class.

The wanton killing of civilians has been displayed on our television and computer screens in what people like me call the Holy Land. We see what dehumanizing the other can lead us to. Some are telling us the election a year from now will change things – it won’t. We are the ones who have to change things. Like April, we are the ones who need to have faith in a “day where everybody seemed to know they needed each other.” I don’t see an alternative.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

John Wagner is a United Methodist pastor from Middletown who helped produce the webinar series “Stealing the Earth.”

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