Where, indeed. James Holmes, 24, accused of the mass murders in Aurora, certainly must have had some pain in his life. Now that pain has been spread to the victims and the victims’ families. Would he have benefitted if he felt he could talk out his problems to a caring adult? To have someone listen and appropriately respond to his innermost concerns and fears at a younger age? We can only speculate.
“While we don’t have any idea of what drove him to do what he did, I can say blessing-based spiritual nurture could have possibly been helpful to him as a child or as a teenager,” said Jacqueline Nowak, associate pastor and founder/director of The Blessing Center, a ministry at Southminster Presbyterian Church in Washington Twp. “If someone could have listened to him without judgment, to really hear the depth of the pain that he was feeling; it might have had an impact.”
The Blessing Center has been affiliated with First Steps since 2001, and its programs are very similar. Sometimes children and adolescents find themselves caught in a web of concerns that are the root of life-disturbing stress. Its mission is to provide resources, instruction, information, and networking opportunities for children, youth, and adults to cope with the ups and downs of life.
Both programs emphasize free, one-on-one meetings between the seeking child and certified leaders. In some instances the setting is in a church, or a Christian education classroom, or a private conversation in a safe area. The concerns of kids can be typical to the very serious. If mentors can catch the typical ones early, those coping skills learned can be used later on.
“I think one of the most moving times for me was when I was walking with a child doing regular holy listening. It was an experience where he was moving and had to leave his friends,” remembers Nowak. “They need to have their feelings affirmed, to be listened to and blessed. One of the last times we prayed together, he was finally able to say, ‘I’m OK now.’ ”
Coming this fall are Blessing Based Spiritual Nurture training classes for parents, educators and community volunteers. The 15-hour, three-day course costs $250. It’s scheduled for Oct. 11-13.
“Kids usually know, on some level,what they need. If their parents are divorced, they’re going to want their parents to get back together,” said Nowak, who worked as a Christian educator at Memorial United Presbyterian Church in Xenia for 14 years. “But through one-on-one conversations, they eventually come to understand that what they really want is to not be pulled apart by all that trauma.”
As to the more serious trauma that happened last week in Colorado, the First Steps Spirituality Center may be able to help after all. People who lost children, siblings, friends and relatives may be able to obtain some peace. The nonprofit community ministry will work with individuals and groups to bring healing, through recognition of their own God-given innate spiritual strength.
Those hurting by this tragedy locally can find more information about The Blessing Center by calling Southminster Presbyterian Church at (937) 433-1810, or by going to The Blessing Center’s web site, www.blessingcenter.org.
What are Holy Listening Stones?
Holy listening takes place whenever two or more are gathered together, and affirm the presence of God. Holy Listening Stones, created by Leanne Hadley of Colorado Springs, Colo., help children and teens get in touch with their troubles, talk about them and get in touch with their spiritual nature.
Each smooth, polished stone has a symbol that can be interpreted in different ways:
One symbol might look like a stalk of broccoli, an arm or even a cat’s paw. The person sees the symbol, and it reminds them of something in their lives, whether good or bad. The stones themselves encourage children and teens to open up and share what is going on in their lives.
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