Couples’ workout woes
According to a recent study by the Wall Street Journal’s Elizabeth Bernstein, trying to get fit as a duo can lead to insecurity, physical pain and serious arguments. The study claims that, although many couples idealize the thought of sharing a morning run, the reality is not so cozy.
When couples at different fitness levels try to exercise together, it can lead to embarrassment on the part of the less-fit spouse and frustration in the spouse who’s ready to move to a higher level. Several of the couples in the study got caught up in trying to impress each other rather than get fit. Couples also conflicted when one partner drastically changed his or her eating or exercise habits and expected the other to just go with it.
Insecurity, lack of communication and less-than-supportive behavior are certainly major factors in quashing a couple’s ability to work out together. But, as long as everyone keeps an open mind and a healthy attitude, local trainers say that the study’s findings may not be as dire as they seem.
Friendly competition
Even if you or your spouse is ultra-competitive, don’t rule out your ability to work out together. A couple with respect for each other’s goals should be able to motivate one another without the workout becoming an unplanned martial arts session.
“One of the benefits of working out together is that you have a healthy camaraderie; it can be a social positive,” said Becky Cobb, president of Personally Fit in Moraine. “I like the dynamic with twosomes or small groups. [The workout] takes on a sense of community, which is a big part of wellness.”
“An amount of healthy competition is good for couples,” said Mike Moorman, owner of Absolute Fitness Personal Training Center in Kettering. Moorman was named the 2014 Best of Dayton Personal Trainer. “I’ve done this for 19 years and have never seen aggressive competition. If it’s competition, it’s healthy competition.”
Cobb has seen some arguments break out among couples, but explained that these are almost always easy to resolve. “I have been a referee a couple of times,” she said. “I’ve been involved in workouts where the husband and wife aren’t getting along, and you have to joke with them a little.”
Along with choosing a skilled trainer who can lighten the mood if need be, simply continuing the workout and getting those endorphins flowing is a good way to ease tension. “When people are aggravated, it’s a great time to give them heavy weights to lift,” Cobb said. “Once everyone finishes the workout, they’re usually in a better mood.”
Different fitness levels?
Is one of you is an avid jogger and the other an avid Netflix-binger? Don’t necessarily rule out keeping fit together.
For starters, think about something you’d both enjoy. “Make it a date. You do not have always have to go to the gym; you could also go bike riding, hiking, play volleyball, or any recreational sport, together,” said Lindsey Curry, fitness supervisor with the City of Kettering’s Parks, Recreation and Cultural Arts Department.
Curry also advised hitting the gym as a couple, but doing part of the workout separately. “You don’t have to spend every minute together during every workout,” she said. “You could do a warm up together, work out separately, then come back and cool down together.”
Cobb agreed that certain parts of the workout could be individualized and emphasized that an experienced trainer is necessary to couples wanting a fitness program. “We handle different fitness levels at the initial evaluation,” she said. “You go with what the individuals need and blend as much as possible. One couple we have, he is working on fitness post-knee replacement, and she is working on general fitness. The trainer should know what has to happen differently for different needs.”
Be sure you’re comfortable doing at least some of the workout on your own and are willing to encourage a spouse who’s at a different level. “The less fit person can hold the other one back,” said Moorman. “It can be like putting a second grader with a ninth grader.” To remedy this, he said, “We’ll spend more time with the person who’s not as familiar with exercise to get them up to speed and give them a good, solid base to build on with their fitness level.”
Accountability
One of the biggest reasons to work out together as a couple is the good old motivation factor. Couples who work out together are well placed to encourage each other and keep wayward exercisers on track. “A friend or spouse will motivate more intently than most trainers when you’re trying to cancel,” Cobb said. “It helps people stay on goal and on task.”
Make sure you’re being helpful and not nagging. “Figure out what kind of encouragement the other prefers,” Curry said. “Set goals and encourage each other to reach those goals through small milestones.”
Moorman compared working out with a significant other to having a teammate. “I’ve seen couples where one is really motivated and other isn’t,” he said. “That’s where it’s beneficial to work out together, to help that person find that motivation.”
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