THIRD OF FIVE PARTS
This is the third in the Dayton Daily News five-part series about Unsung Heroes in the region. The Dayton Daily News asked readers to submit nominations of people who go above and beyond to help others but rarely receive recognition for their work. For a closer look at nominations we received, visit MyDaytonDailyNews.com.
If someone told Jean Henry in high school that she would become the mother of six children, she wouldn’t have believed it.
Today, the Englewood woman is the mother of six adopted children, five of who are special needs and require significant medical care.
“I would have never, ever, ever would have imagined,” Henry said. “I always wanted to be a mother, but I wanted to go about it the regular way.”
It’s Henry’s dedication to children with disabilities that inspired Vivian O’Connell, development director at United Rehabilitation Services, to nominate her as a Dayton Daily News Unsung Hero.
“She has opened her heart to many children with disabilities through adoption and looks at their disabilities as an opportunity to help them grow and become the best that they can be,” O’Connell wrote.
Henry’s maternal journey began when she was young — just 19. At 15, she started volunteering at Stillwater Center in Clayton, a Montgomery County home for children and adults who have, “the most severe and profound intellectual disabilities are physically challenged and/or have significant medical needs.”
She went back to volunteer again when she was 19 and was working with the activity therapist on Saturday mornings when she met a little girl with severe disabilities. The girl, Angela, was just 2-years-old, but Henry found herself staying late to spend more time with the kids. She learned the little girl was available for adoption but at 19, Henry wasn’t old enough. And the little girl was to be adopted by her former foster parents. Henry planned to babysit for the family.
‘She was the cutest little thing’
The adoption fell through and at 20, Henry started the process to adopt Angela. She wasn’t allowed to come home until Henry turned 21. That was May 1981.
By then, Angela, who has Cerebral Palsy and can’t walk or talk, was 4-years-old.
“She fell in love with me, and I just couldn’t walk away,” Henry said. “I just couldn’t. I loved everything about her and everything with her. She was extremely multi-handicapped, but she was so cute. She was just the cutest little thing. I can’t explain it. We just kind of grew up together.
“I was so thrilled. I was so thrilled the first time I got to give her a bottle and would go in and rock her and put her to bed. She was very responsive. She doesn’t talk but I didn’t see that.”
When Angela turned 9, her health started deteriorating and had to have a tracheotomy to survive. She weighed 28 pounds at 9. After she received her tracheotomy, she got a gastrostomy tube to help provide nutrition and she started growing. Today, Angela is 37.
Fast forward 20 years, and Henry found an agency called, Action Adoption Services, that helped her start the process of adopting another little girl.
Henry started going to a support group at Action in February 2002 while she was going through the home study process to adopt her next daughter. Many parents there were trying to adopt more typical kids. “I wanted to stick with what I knew,” she said. “It was difficult, but I had good experiences with Angela.”
Pat Hill, executive director of Action, said adopting special needs children is Henry’s “lifelong ministry.”
“She’s very committed to her children and to ensuring they get the services that they need,” Hill said. “She’s quite knowledgeable about certain developmental issues and has been very helpful with other families.”
Her children’s resilience
Henry said raising Angela helped prepare her for more children with disabilities, because she learned so much through the process.
Becky came home when she was 4 in 2003. She couldn’t walk or talk and was exclusively on a G tube.
Four months later, Becky walked. She’s 15 now.
As part of the support group, Henry met other families who were in the process of adopting. One couple was having issues with a 12-year-old girl they planned to adopt. But the little girl, who was typical, wasn’t quite fitting in with the family, Henry said.
Eventually, that little girl, Ariel, also was adopted by Henry in 2003. Ariel, who is 24 now, has been a huge help with the other kids, Henry said.
“The amazing thing is the resiliency of these kids,” Henry said. “So there we were with three girls.”
During this period, Henry also went to school to become a nurse so she could provide nursing care for her children at home.
Despite having three girls, Henry still was interested in adopting another girl with special needs, she said.
Maricela joined the family in 2005 when she was 7. She is 17 now and receives therapy at URS. O’Connell got to know the family through Maricela.
“Although she’s been coming to URS for therapies for years, I only recently met her when Maricela was here for therapy and was using a large device called, a Lite Gait, to assist her with walking,” O’Connell said. Henry’s first daughter, Angela, went to URS for services years earlier, she said.
Can-do attitude
With each child, Henry looked at what they could do rather than focusing on what they couldn’t do. When she adopted Becky, people thought raising her would be a challenge, Henry said. Becky could sit up. Angela is a spastic quadriplegic, and Henry carried her everywhere.
Still Henry wasn’t finished opening her heart to children with disabilities. She was looking for another little girl when she got a phone call about a baby who was four months old and was living at Columbus Children’s. The baby was on a feeding pump 22 hours a day.
“But it didn’t scare me,” Henry said. “I already had two on feeding pumps at home. I was very interested.”
She discussed the decision with her daughters and decided to adopt Levi. She visited Levi in Columbus three times a week and brought him home in November 2006. He was six months old. Today, he is 8. He was weaned off his G tube three months after coming home with Henry.
The whole time Henry was considering adopting Levi, she was still thinking of more children. She held off though, because she wanted to focus on getting Levi adjusted to being at home.
Michael came home in 2009 when he was 6-years-old. He’s 11 now.
“Then that was pretty overwhelming,, so I kind of had to stop,” she said. “I couldn’t keep up with the house so I concentrated on these guys.”
Giving her children the best
It’s not always an easy path, Henry acknowledged.
“I get very depressed and down sometimes — especially when we’re stuck in the house and things get overwhelming, but then I just get through on the other side,” she said. “And the kids…they’re just great kids. I’m always just trying to make sure they get the best that they can have.”
She said she cannot imagine what her children have gone through to get to where they are now.
“How do you go through what they have been through? How do you survive? Why do you want to survive? What makes you survive?” she said. “To me, these kids are the heroes.”
O’Connell said Henry’s attitude has inspired her. “Most people would look at having a child with a disability as a burden or challenge,” she said. “Jean looks at it as an opportunity!”
Adopting the children has been a complete blessing, Henry added.
“Children are the treasure,” she said. “With these kids, you look at them as half empty, and I don’t see that. I see what they can do not what they can’t do. It’s just a different way of looking at things.”
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