“I wasn’t satisfied with me,” Lawler said. “There was an internal conflict. I wasn’t getting to where I wanted to be.”
Then, just that quickly, his life got back on track. He received a calling from God, the ultimate GPS. Lawler, 50, was asked why he chose to enter the ministry late in life and as a third career.
“That’s not the right question,” he said Tuesday while sitting in his office at Blue Ball Presbyterian Church. “It wasn’t my idea. I never would have picked to work for less money and on weekends.”
That brought a smile.
Then Lawler continued: “It was a calling, that plain and simple. It was beyond a choice, a decision. It was an irresistible pull. I could not say no. This is the truth. This is not theatrical.”
His mother, Doris Lawler, 90, who was sitting in the office, called it “a destiny.”
It couldn’t have come at a better time for Lawler, who once served as chaplain at the former Middletown Regional Hospital. Twenty-five years ago, when he was disappointed with the direction of his life, in a place he called “a wilderness,” Lawler was so frustrated he challenged God. He called God an unprintable name and demanded: “Show me a better way or I want You to take me home.”
Right on cue, Lawler was introduced to the Rev. Bruce Mase, then pastor at St. Mary’s Presbyterian Church in St. Mary’s, Lawler’s hometown. In 2003, through Mase’s counseling, Lawler entered United Theological Seminary in Dayton.
For a man with agriculture and marketing degrees from Ohio State, it was like starting over. He transferred from gardening to God. On April 2, eight years after the journey began, Lawler, an imposing 6-foot-5 figure, will be ordained at Blue Ball Presbyterian Church.
He was asked to predict what will go through his head that afternoon.
“It will be a recognition of what God has done through me,” he said.
He called it “a grateful moment.”
He also praised his wife, Patricia, and son Sean, a U.S. Marine, for their support and inspiration.
Lawler said he’s never been happier. His spirit feels like it just stepped out of the shower.
“I’ve never been more at peace,” he said. “Why wouldn’t people want what I have found? God has a plan for all of us.”
And sometimes it comes when it’s least expected but most needed.
Contact this columnist at (513) 705-2842 or rmccrabb@coxohio.com.
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