HOT TOPICS: The week in celebrity headlines

BRITAIN’S NEW PRINCESS NAMED CHARLOTTE: Her first words: “Some pig.”

TIGER WOODS, LINDSEY VONN SPLIT AFTER 3 YEARS: No SUVs were injured in the breakup.

“WALKING DEAD” STAR GOES ON BIZARRE SUBWAY RANT: He just kept shouting: “Where’s Carl?!”

ROGER WATERS SLAMS SILICON VALLEY’S “ROGUES AND THIEVES”: Gypsies, tramps get a pass.

“WALKING DEAD” STAR SETH GILLIAM ARRESTED FOR DUI: He should have taken the subway.

“DUCK DYNASTY” MUSICAL TO CLOSE EARLY IN LAS VEGAS: Being replaced with “Wabbit Season” musical.

“STAR TREK” ACTRESS GRACE LEE WHITNEY DIES AT 85: She never should have worn red.

ADAM DRIVER’S “STAR WARS” CHARACTERS REVEALED: Not surprisingly, he plays Adam Vader.

MILEY CYRUS TO RECORD ALBUM WITH THE FLAMING LIPS: She thought it was the name of a shot.

JAMIE FOXX TRASHED FOR NATIONAL ANTHEM AT MAYWEATHER-PACQUIAO FIGHT: He hid a vocal cord injury.

“AVENGERS” DIRECTOR JOSS WHEDON QUITS TWITTER: His account was hacked by @Loki.

“WEDDING SINGER” RAPPING GRANNY DIES AT 101: Her homies pour some Ensure on the ground.

AXL ROSE DEMANDS MAYWEATHER-PACQUIAO “FREE-MATCH”: He was upset the fight started late.

MORGAN FREEMAN COMPLETELY ENDORSES POT: Then goes on and on about the longest night of his life.

NOEL GALLAGHER CALLS ZAYN MALIK AN “IDIOT” FOR LEAVING ONE DIRECTION: Malik tells him to go back to smashing watermelons.

SPICE GIRLS REUNITE IN MOROCCO WITH EVA LONGORIA: Desperate Spice.

— DAVE LARSEN, RANDY PALMER, KYLE NAGEL

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