In fact, the entire band was so terrible that it skipped plans A and B and went straight to C: to lean into how bad they really were, and to call themselves “The World’s Worst Band.”
After some legal pressure from Kraft Foods Inc., Green Jellö eventually changed its name to Green Jellÿ. Though, if you ask him now, Manspeaker will facetiously explain that the “ÿ” makes an “ö” sound.
“Look at the line of everybody who wants to be good; it goes around the block!” Manspeaker said on a phone call, from his home in Hollywood. “Now look at the line to be the worst band. I walked in there without keys! I own it. I’m the booth. I’m where the line starts.”
You can witness Green Jellÿ’s theatrical Punk Rock Puppet Show on Saturday, Aug. 23 at Oregon Express, with opening support from Temple of the Grootslang, Herpatitis, and D.O.S.
Manspeaker’s original goal was to be a grade school teacher, to influence kids and be that positive role model. He even went to college for four years to study education. But in 1987, after seeing an ad for “The Gong Show” in his local newspaper, he made the trek to Hollywood. With an erratic rendition of “Rock ‘N’ Roll Pumpkin,” he got broadcast proof that Green Jellö is “The World’s Worst Band.”
The band was immediately gonged off the soundstage.
Manspeaker quit schooling for that moment. When he got to Hollywood, his car blew up and he couldn’t get home. He landed a job at Tower Records, and took “The Gong Show” humiliation in stride; it defined his life moving forward.
Green Jellÿ had a hit in 1992 with “Three Little Pigs,” adapted from the fairy tale, while also featuring marijuana, Harley-Davidson, and Rambo. The song’s accompanying stop motion claymation music video received regular rotation on MTV.
As of 2012, Manspeaker is the only consistent member of the band. He holds the Guinness World Record for the largest band in music history, currently holding 1,068 members, as one member was recently canned — an impressive and rare feat in Green Jellÿ.
Everywhere he tours in the world, he has a stable of fans ready to play alongside him and his vaudeville punk rock puppet show. And they don’t have to be good either.
“What I came to realize was nobody really cares who’s in my band,” Manspeaker said. “All they care about are those damn costumes. They want to see the pigs, they want to see the cow. They couldn’t care less who’s playing bass.”
When Manspeaker was younger, his mother always told him he was great even when he perhaps wasn’t. But because of that early encouragement, his performances pass on inspiration, too.
“It’s my only goal in my entire life,” he said. “Just because of the way my mom treated me, I’ve always been respectful to the underdog. I’m that guy that collects the misfit toys on the island. Give me the broken lamp. Give me the couch with the rip. Give me the rug with the stain. I’m putting it in the museum. I’m going to hold it with pride.”
In Green Jellÿ, everything is made so that you can do it yourself: anybody can play a Green Jellÿ riff; anybody can make a Green Jellÿ video. Manspeaker wanted “The World’s Worst Band” to be so simple that anyone could achieve what he achieved.
Earlier this year, a 15-year-old drummer from Pennsylvania wanted to play with Green Jellÿ.
“The kid was so damn awful, and it threw the entire band off. He wasn’t even close,” Manspeaker said. “But it didn’t matter. There was not one person that wanted to ruin his opportunity, his glow, his dream. To look in that child’s eye when I told him what an amazing job he did even though he was terrible… what’s so hard about that?”
Bill Manspeaker doesn’t know what a chord is. He claims to have zero musical ability — the band follows him when he’s singing, not the other way around. And no song is ever played the same way twice. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that there is that little kid in front of the stage, with a pool noodle in his hand, wearing a “Three Little Pigs” mask, singing “not by the hair of my chinny chin chin” like it’s the greatest day of his life.
“It wasn’t until decades later that I figured out my mom wasn’t telling me the truth,” Manspeaker said. “So go influence a kid. Just by some attention, just by some encouragement… you can change the entire world.”
For “The World’s Worst Band,” there’s always room for one more.
After a generous 50 minutes on the phone, I told Manspeaker that the band’s claymation videos, in conjunction with early “South Park,” inspired high school me to make a crude construction paper animation of someone barfing up green jelly onto a bathroom floor. He was so thrilled by the idea that he wanted me to send it to him. So I did.
“omg this is epic,” he said in a text.
It wasn’t until minutes later I figured out he wasn’t telling me the truth, but it was nice to hear anyway.
Brandon Berry covers the music and arts scene in Dayton and Southwest Ohio, spotlighting local musicians, underground and touring bands, cultural events, fringe phenomena and creative spaces. Reach him at branberry100@gmail.com.
HOW TO GO
What: Green Jellÿ and The Punk Rock Puppet Show, with Temple of the Grootslang, Hepatitis, and D.O.S.
When: 7 p.m. Aug. 23
Where: Oregon Express, 336 E. 5th St., Dayton
Cost: $20
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